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The Fall (from the Serpent's point of view) by Del [Email]
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Description:
This is a clever, moving work that takes a new look at the biblical Fall and makes it a personal poem of love and loss. I have tried to highlight the irony and play that I found in the text (by Tobin Mueller) with the use of music. I edited the text slightly... with Tobin's blessings.
Lyrics:
The Fall
It is a quaint little parchment,
written as it is by someone just discovering
the power of words
and silence. The big round letters of an adolescent,
shaped into a metaphor of hope,
become the bloated lines of adulthood
as I read them aloud.
The last spoken words of Eden:
“If only we…”
This was once a place one walked barefooted
on soft, responsive ground, not having to watch
or worry about direction and consequence.
A place without death.
Until love surprised us all.
Love, the spontaneous creation;
the catalyst ushering in an eve of womanhood
and defining, against all specifications, mankind.
Love, uncontrolled by deity,
anarchistic, without boundary, without license.
But love was never meant to be
between a snake and a virgin.
The skins don’t match up.
Hers is perfect.
And if there be any imperfections,
they are perfect imperfections,
like the shape of her hopeful script:
A celebration of imperfection.
So I slide along the empty gateway, trying not to think,
knowing there is only one path, one direction:
away. And
I can’t help thinking.
She imagined, perhaps wishing, I would remain.
She imagined Eden would not be changed
with her passing.
Doesn't she know?
I crawl along the sealed and painted pavement,
unable to feel the earth beneath.
Unable to feel anything beneath.
If I could only fall,
once more, again,I might be the fool, and be happy.
Perhaps the price of love is imbalance;
to dance the edge of the garden wall
with all the foolhearty courage of children
believing the soft ground of Eden will catch us
no matter which way we slide.
© 2004 Tobin James Mueller
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Entertaining and ironic &mdash 11/01/04 - 08:12:38 AM
Again, you captured the essence of this poem. They
backing music is wonderfully entertaining and ironic. The
emotional payoff of your understated ending is immense.
And your edits to my text are all improvements.
Excellent. [ Reply to This ]
Entertaining and ironic &mdash 11/02/04 - 07:18:57 AM
Thanks. I'm having a fine time working with this quality material, trying to put
together something special. It deserves it. Thanks for all your help, too. [ Reply to This ]
...at the gate &mdash 11/01/04 - 11:11:40 AM
A new twist to then jilted lover...nice. I guess the serpent in you can't let go? Maybe that's hell. And maybe Eden is that moment just before, on at love's gate? or so I thought until that last section, which is the best part. Yes, I have felt like a snake. Woman can have that effect. Made me think and made me feel, nice accomplishment. Been having trouble doing both lately. [ Reply to This ]
even better! &mdash 11/01/04 - 02:55:08 PM
oo, i like this one even better than "Old". i like your boyish voice (or as much as such a bass can be boyish), the way your Bronx accent comes through (adding to the irony), and yet you don't let yourself quite sneer... because you loved her too much. the music is perfect and makes me visualize the whole scene. your piano at the end is so beautiful, right when you say "...Eden would not be changed with her passing...", making it all so poignant. and by the end your voice is transformed by the recognition. subtle. wonderful, again. [ Reply to This ]
even better! &mdash 11/02/04 - 07:31:22 AM
Thank you, Suzanne. This poem is longer, more involved, less straight
forward, takes more work to appreciate. Thanks for the effort. [ Reply to This ]
You twisted me good &mdash 04/07/05 - 07:37:31 AM
Hell is a supermarket. With 50s ad music blaring and little
old ladies going way too slow with empty carts. And a
beautiful girl just beyond reach. Dance the wall, man.
Keeping dancing... [ Reply to This ]
Deep &mdash 09/23/05 - 12:48:27 PM
Life is clearly just a long elevator ride, either up or down...
Wonderful work.
The latter half really fascinated me.
Gorgeous. [ Reply to This ]
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backing music is wonderfully entertaining and ironic. The
emotional payoff of your understated ending is immense.
And your edits to my text are all improvements.
Excellent.
[ Reply to This ]