Close Your Eyes w ledeb + Jim Bouchard by jiguma
Genre: Acoustic Rock

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Keywords:
ledebutant (48), Jim Bouchard (30)
Description:
Almost 6 months ago, Lisa and I were caught up in a forum discussion about medication and depression, which led to us emailing each other back and forth talking about our feelings/thoughts/experiences of the topic. During that exchange, Lisa sent me the link for an article she’d written elsewhere. I didn’t get to it for a few weeks, but when I did I immediately saw the germ of the lyrics for this quirky plinth (for you Rebsie!) of a song starting to form. I felt strongly that I wanted Lisa to be a part of the song and asked her if she’d be interested – luckily she agreed, or I’d have had to take her Rode NT1 and hold it to ransom. I also asked Jim Bouchard if he’d play lap steel, and so the basics were in place.
The song is about the thoughts of someone with a depressive illness – listen to the words, and hopefully you might get some insight into the experience. Some of you might recognise yourself in there.
Instrumentally, Jim is on lap steel, I’m playing Telecaster and Precision and messing about with midi drums. I really like the way Lisa and my voices work together here – I think both Lisa and Jim have done a brilliant job.
Hope you enjoy it!
The song is about the thoughts of someone with a depressive illness – listen to the words, and hopefully you might get some insight into the experience. Some of you might recognise yourself in there.
Instrumentally, Jim is on lap steel, I’m playing Telecaster and Precision and messing about with midi drums. I really like the way Lisa and my voices work together here – I think both Lisa and Jim have done a brilliant job.
Hope you enjoy it!
Lyrics:
Close Your Eyes© 2008
Words Neil Porter (inspired by Lisa Purdy) /Music Neil Porter
I admit it
I’ve got something in my head
That’s messing with my brain
I’m not sure about tomorrow
Might be up
Or might be down again
Close your eyes
I don’t want you seeing me this way
And if I cry
I don’t mean to be like this
I don’t mean to be like this
I might try to read tomorrow
And hope the flying words
Stay near the page
Will the strings on my guitar
Make sweet music
Or steel bars on my cage?
Just close your eyes
I don’t want you seeing me this way
And if I cry
I don’t mean to be like this
I don’t mean to be like this
If I keep taking little pills
The doctor says
My blues will go away
Now I’m seeing less
Of my black dog
That used to visit every day
Just close your eyes
I don’t want you seeing me this way
And if I cry
I don’t mean to be like this
I don’t mean to be like this
Hardware:
Lisa:Rode Nt-1a mic
Presonus Firebox
iMac G5
Neil:
Fender Telecaster
Fender Precision Bass
Rode NT3 mic
Behringer UB802 mixer/preamp
iMac G5
Software:
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Feter
just terrific work ! three awesome Mjers such be an
awesome colab as well ..the steel guitar just so
special and significant spacey ...Neil this is one of
your most insightful song (in writing) you know the
chords sequence just so cool ..Lisa/s voice with you
just worked wonderfully ..I just loved it ..thank you
so very much for sharin ... this is a HIT !!!!
jiguma
Thanks for the early call on this - as I said to you, this is probably my favourite song that I've done so far. I appreciate you having a listen and leaving a note.
Peace,
Neil
sloparts
This is such a true to the feelings song, thanks for sharing it.
Very cool back track with Jim's slide and your tele Neil. And you're right about you and Lisa working well together on the vocals.
Great job, kudos to all of you.
Be well and be cool,
Ed
jiguma
Thanks for the kind words - we've been sitting on this for a very long while, and I'm really pleased that it's finally out of my iMac. For me, doing a song with Lisa and Jim was a real honour. Lisa and I have talked about a collab for a few years now, but I never could find a song that would work until this. Hopefully there'll be more.
Thanks again Ed,
Neil
rsorensen
sounds great. love the eerie slide work and the sloppy (but good sloppy) tele licks. and of course the great lyrics and vocal performances by you both. awesome, awesome collab. sure to be a MJ hit.
jiguma
I'm a specialist at "good sloppy" ;)
I'm glad you enjoyed the song and performance.
Cheers,
Neil
damiengh
Loved the lyrics.
It is also musically satisfying, because of the wonderful blend of vocals from familiar personalities that we have all come to love so much.
That meandering lap steel really enhanced the tune and it's message.
We all at some time experience this unpredictability of mood which can get in the way of creating, or surprise us and actually foster an idea or two.
Sometimes we're just passengers on the mood bus and we just have to wait until it decides to let us off.
Great theme, great music and great collab!
rtcooper
TIGHT
The musicality of the piece is really compelling.
Vocal combination works fabulously.
Bouchard is a standout. The Tele and Steel tones are very complimentary.
KIT is about the Best MIDI sound I've heard for percussion.
"Blues" is not the real Depression, however (common misconception).
If you want to know what real Depression is, read Styron's Darkness Visible, if you can.
TOP Production Values throughout.
No nits.
Compliments to all
Cooper
ledebutant
Thanks for the feedback, Coop. I think Neil and Jim nailed the music on this and I totally agree with you about the drums.
I have read Darkness Visible. It's something I read when I was at my sickest, and I found it bizarrely comforting, as well as an excellent and honest description of "typical" depression (though, I suffer from "atypical" depression). Based on our conversations, I think Neil is probably using "blues" as a euphemism and because it fits lyrically. I can't speak for him, but I would never call what I went through in real life "the blues." Depression is a very serious, sometimes fatal, illness and quite different from just feeling down here and there, to be sure. I feel very lucky to be healthy and happy today and making music with you guys and am so grateful for the medical help I received that got me through that horrible time (and continues to help me today).
rtcooper
PERSONAL COMMUNICATION TO FOLLOW
perceptualvortex
I love the writing and the topic, and the whole character of the song fits it just right. It's something I know about. The instruments sound great. The singing and the lap steel are wonderful. Nice job with those midi drums, Neil. This song resonates with soul.
jiguma
Like I said, it's great to see you back around the MJ traps.
Neil
alfalpha
THIS was the Birthday present from Lisa, Neil?
It was definitely worth the wait! :)
My only 'nitpick', would be, perhaps, that the vocals phrase in time with each other, given that there is such a lovely tonal mix between Neil & Lisa's vocal qualities, that said- your voices combined work a treat here & Jim's lap steel provides a 'wall of sustain' very nicely.
Great work peoples! I can certainly relate to these lyrics...I'm sure many more on this site might also!
:)
All The Best To You All,
Alf
jiguma
Not a bad birthday pressie I thought ;)
Yes, we could have gone for close fit of the vocals, but, although I did think about it, i decided that it probably worked pretty well like this. Gives it a loose feel - like a late night studio session (as Lisa put it).
Cheers - hope to catch up soon over a wine or two.
Cheers from the south.
Neil
Scott Carmichael
My 1st impression was "that this feels too light and fun to capture the despair of depression" but as it moves through, I realize this is quite well done and about the medication that accompanies the affliction... all the way through, you feel cut loose and floating, I love the hints of dissonance, and how you can never quite get your balance... dizzy... real smart stuff.. and subtle production choices... Jim really propels this the right direction...
and the lyrics frame so well the tough choice between the abyss and medical bliss.. what you have to trade..
a very well crafted piece
the harmonies are delicious (nice job Lisa)
jiguma
Thanks for the listen and comment Scott. A lot of time went into this one - I don't know how many times I bounced "final drafts" just before I found something else to adjust. Despite that, the overall feel of looseness really does seem to have worked. I was just so pleased to have Lisa and Jim along on this - I've wanted to work with them both for such a long while.
Cheers,
Neil
Peter Greenstone
This is so good! I really like this. The lyrics, the rhythm and the way it shifts into its groove. The production is excellent. Really nicely recorded and mixed. You two both sound like you recorded in the same place and your voices both sound very good together. Very well put lyrics and delivery. I, too, like that subtle dissonance.
This is the sort of tune that makes me want to collaborate on music. You three made for a perfect combination. I can't think of anything critical.
Well, I downloaded it and found that you forgot to put in the song ID tags. I manually put it in on my iTunes. Thanks for the music!
jiguma
For the comments and the note about the ID tags. I was in such a hurry to post that I forgot the basic rule of "MJ Posting 101": ID everything!
I'll try to sort that out.
I'm always up for a collab Peter if the right song comes by.
Cheers,
Neil
Jim Bouchard
When you're bouncing in Logic 8, just check the box to write ID3 tags. Then click on the ID3 Settings button and it'll let you add all that stuff. I think there's a bug there in that I've had trouble adding the copyright info and other stuff, but you can definitely get all the stuff you would need to tag the song in iTunes. It's really pretty easy. I don't think Logic 7 did that.
jiguma
I usually do this religiously - oh well! Will sort it for the next one.
Loved the lap steel on this - it gets better every time I listen to it.
Neil
Jim Bouchard
When you're bouncing in Logic 8, just check the box to write ID3 tags for your mp3. Then click on the ID3 Settings button and it'll let you add all that stuff. I think there's a bug there in that I've had trouble adding the copyright info and other stuff, but you can definitely get all the stuff you would need to tag the song in iTunes. It's really pretty easy. I don't think Logic 7 did that.
Roxylee
You and Lisa sound great together, and Jim's pedal steel is perfect for this song. I love this. The 2nd "I don't need to be like this" line made me want your and Lisa's harmony to keep going. Really sweet collab!
Jim Bouchard
It's actually a lap steel, which is different from a pedal steel in that there are no pedals. The pedals on a pedal steel changes the pitch of the string when you step on it. Because of the pedals, the pedal steel has to have legs to support it, while a lap steel can just sit in your lap. There's a difference in the sound, usually, but it's a subtle difference, and I just thought I would point out that there's a difference. I had a pedal steel for a while but it took up a lot of room and I didn't play it all that well, and so I traded it in for something else (regrettably). This steel guitar is my trusty old Harmony, that used to have wobbly legs (which you would call a console-style steel guitar) which I took off and converted to a lap steel. Thanks for your comment!
thetiler
the singing on both counts is nice, Lisa's singing adds too.
The slide has a nice bluesy feel that I think that you wanted in the tune I think. It has a nice unique flavor.
And of course the trademark Jig vocal is spot on.
Thanks for sharing!
jiguma
"Interesting" is always good :)
Neil
lavalamp
.....this would be great. Neil, you sound absolutely stellar here. Lisa was great, too. But, a bit buried at times.
This is quite an exceptional song, Neil. Original as hell.
Honest lyrics.
I tip my hat.
Dave
lavalamp
my media player was screwed up. Lisa sounds great upon my second listen.
Excellent.
One of the best I have ever heard here.
LL
jiguma
I think you were thinking of Rebsie being "a bit buried" (ref to "From a Coffin") :)
Thanks for having a listen and leaving such a heartwarming comment. Always appreciate you dropping in.
Cheers from Oz!
Neil
but very good - great voices and composition
composerclark
Very well produced, good song. I must admit, however, to feeling a certain wariness as I read the intro, the lyrics, and listened... Not exactly sure why, but maybe it's because it's hard to see how a song about depression by somebody else can capture (or speak to) something that feels so personal and so isolating. But you succeed, I think. That black dog is never very far away, I find, which probably explains my wariness.
jiguma
One of the things I've discovered on the few occasions I've written lyrics on this topic is that there are way more people than I expected out there who have varying degrees of the same problem. I worked as a psychologist for 30 years yet I never really understood depression until I burnt out last year and plunged a little way into the darkness.
I've found that being open about it has been helpful both in my writing and in real life.
I digress .... I'm glad this worked for you.
Cheers,
Neil
davisamerica
wow ... fantastic track ... all around folks ... very insightful and just a beauty of a tune.
Vic Holman
very sinewy in the lap steel and guitar lines, they float and weave around in the head nicely.
Neil, your vocals and Lisa's really came together in a excellent way, especially since the vocal timbres are different, if you know what I mean.
Bass nice and deep and of course a great mix.
...and the neighbors black dog across the street didn't even have to tell me that.
Very nicely done Neil, Jim & Lisa
egobandit
the way the chords change in all the right spots even when you expect a change and it dont happen. The lyrics and singing have a some what slowed down feel between lisa and you. it makes for more thought.. I really enjoyed it, as always another on me Ipod thanks
MarkHolbrook
your stuff simply rocks in every way!
davisamerica
just dropped back in to download ... :-]
Miller-Schletty
I'm rarely stopped as I listen to a song here at MJ. This one stopped me, having just posted a poem that was my way of "journaling" one of my recurrent downers. Neil, good for you for responding to Lisa's article with this effort. Who cannot relate?
Superb quality collaboration.
Jack
musichead
Very interetsing slide guitar. Very nice job on the drums. Ive always loved telecaster guitars. Nice chord changes. well written!! very clean mix.
thoddi
If it is of ourselves or of people around us, observations like this are something I find cool to see put down in words like this. I especially noticed "Now I%u2019m seeing less of my black dog, That used to visit every day". Very cool:)
The music is outstanding. The mix of your voices are like magic. They match perfectly! The mood and way of plying also seems to go well with the message. Jim's steel guitar enhances a dizzy kind of feeling and melts like butter on a hot potato into the mix.
Bravo!
Char
well. It is a real shame that for so much of our lives we struggle through. Great lyrics and exceptionally put together. Thanks.
Alannah
.. what a great tune ! How do I miss these things ??? Too busy chatting in the chat room I suspect and not enough time checking out tunes ! Bad Alannah .... LOVE the way Neil's and Lisa's voices harmonize together ... the lyrics of course are poignant and spot on!
Dj French Toast
awesome : )
dajama
This is an outstanding song. The lyrics are wonderfully eloquent, expressing great depth of feeling and complexity in a pithy and elegant way. The performances are wonderful. Neil, your voice is such a pleasure to listen to; you are instantly recognizable and your voice is like an old friend returning. Then Lisa's dulcet tones added to the mix. What more could anyone ask for?Your voices are a perfect match. As if I would expect anything else? Love the lap steel guitar, although I wouldn't have had it so constant in the song, but that's just a nit, and down to my taste. Excellent mix and production, and a magnificent treatment of the subject. Nicely done to everyone involved. Kudos, people. Peace.
springclock
I knew before I clicked play that this would be good considering the MJ all star line up this is....
Fantastic sound.... one of the best mixes I've heard here in a while.... One of the best vocal performances I've heard here in a while as well... and that's both of you....the harmonies of sheer frakkin gold.... the lap steel just adds the perfect gliding quark to slide though the moods that swing with the realities of depression.... This is a perfect track...
Love It!!
Peace and Future.... Ian
VicDiesel
What do you get when you bring together 3 talented macjammers?
I really enjoyed listening to this. Good song, great playing, especially on that slide, and vocals that mesh together very well.
ledebutant
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this song. As you know, it was difficult for me to sing, not because of the technical elements, but because I found it very emotionally real to the experience I had with depression. It's such a simple song, but such a beautiful one, with a deep, deep heart.
This was truly a lot of fun to sing once I got over my "stuff" and I love the way we sound together. Jim's slide is great and adds to the whole off-kilter feel. I think this is one where you really got the music to mesh with the lyrics incredibly well and the mix is tremendous, too. I love the way you got me to sound. Thank you so much!
jiguma
The pleasure was mine! It's been literally years since we first talked about how "we must do a collab one day" - I'm glad it finally happened.
We must do another some time.
:)
Neil
guygrooves
touching and poignant. I would imagine most people will relate to this, and the one that say they don't... are lying. Great song, and outstanding performances by all of you.
lengold
very best songs I have ever heard. The vocals blend beautifully. Love the steel guitar and to top it all definitely top notch production. Definite download. Thanks.
Cheers
Len
jiguma
Thanks so much for your positive words - despite the topic, this was a lot of fun to do from a musical viewpoint. Lisa's article made it clear where the lyrics were going to go - I had no idea what it was about until I read it, but once I did, it had to be ideas taken from Lisa.
Thanks again for you listen and your comment - greatly appreciated.
Neil
guitapick
...you couldn't have chosen your partners any better for this...and the lyrics are so, so, so right on it...
Great songwriting, Neil...
Man...I love the lapsteel...what a wonderful invention...
illuminati
up and down. I totally fell for the progression out of chorus, the descending line. Lisa's voice is like fresh air in the song, as it usually is. The contrast in the voice makes this even more intriguing and the subject matter is superfluous on first listen, which makes the second listen even cooler. Sweet guitar work, Neil and Jim. I guess I like this best because it's genre isn't quite definable. It ain't pop or the blues or country or anything normal.
jiguma
Lisa's voice has been one of my favourites since I first heard it, and I've been really hoping the "right" song would come up for some time. "Fresh air" is a really good way of describing what she does with her vocals. It was interesting to me (from a technical point of view) how the different Rode mics effect our voices - it would be really interesting (if we lived in the same street) to swap mics and re-do this. I suspect it would have sounded quite different. I also suspect we'd each be happier with the model we use normally.
I like the indefinable nature of the genre - that's why I asked for "acoustic rock" to be added to the genre list in the first place :)
Cheers from Oz,
Neil
Very good
SJB
Great song. Love the line about the guitar strings.
Everything is spot on: the slide guitar, picked electric and bass. The variation in the drums make it a life like drum part which is so hard to do.
All the best
Steve
saymme
This is Fabuolous WOW Jiguma ! So great to have a femalevox singing w You !!! Lisa is awesome indeed
Rebsie
Thanks for the plinth reference! Where would we be without a good plinth?
Sorry it's taken me a while to get here, but I do get the honour of being your 50th fan!
Wowee, your voice blends so well with Lisa's. And Jim is the assured twangmeister. This is top notch stuff in every respect.
On a personal note, I've been a lifelong depressive (and one who refuses medication) but I could never have expressed it so plangently (there's another great word for you). My black dog sends his best.
ic42
it is a deep touch. a depression can muddy such a beautiful stream. there are many beautiful people who don't mean to be like this. the song paints this story in a deeply touching manner. jiguma's voice is smooth and perfect for carrying the delicate thoughts. ledebutant makes such perfect harmony and singing. jim bouchard uses a "lap steel"? to make a bending music sound. like a bamboo in a typhoon, the mind is always bending under depression. it is a feeling of helpless sadness, and embarrassment. it conveys perfectly. 0x0
blaky smith
I'm so late, sorry, but I cannot refrain from writing some words to greet this excellent track, on all levels. A pleasure to listen.
Bravo Neil, Linda and Jim, very beautiful job...
Marc
Ed Hannifin
Nice to see someone else in this world who's familiar with 'the black dog'...
There's the ol' jiguma lope in the bass, but the feel of this is different, and nicely so...Neat melody, and I love hearing Lisa in the supporting vocal role...She's good at it...
Jim's pretty good at slide, too, for a guy that goes out into the garden and eats worms...
Sorry I'm so late to the party, but it's cool to see how many MacJammers loved this one...
Ed
timothy devine
You have really put together a special work here.
I do see me in here, by the way.
You and Lisa do sound really good together! Your vocals a fine blend of two sweet soft songers with lots of feeling and emotion.
And the Jim part! just lifts this up to a real cool place. It just rolls along in such a cool groove,... steelin along...real fine music people!
Nice writing, playing, n performing.
a new top ten mac jams tune for me
Nolan
Holy crap I love this! Love it, love it. What a treat for me to hear you two together. I love the Aussie accent in the first verse, then the sweet American accent in the next. Very cool hearing Lisa's voice over that distinctive Jiguma sound. Great lyrics. I absolutely love those dreamy guitar sounds. They remind me of KD Lang's version of The Air That I Breathe. The chords, the melody...it's just great. Good on you guys. I'd love to get in on some of this action if you guys ever do something again.
jiguma
I'm trying to think of something for a trio already :)
Glad you liked it - I've wanted to do a duet with Lisa for quite a while.
Cheers from the south.
Neil
The Orbiting
Seriously! To do something with you two would be fantastic and since I didn't ruin this one, it wouldn't take me six months this time, either Neil.
Only don't bring me in to do harmonies at the end, because I stink at that! ;-)