Home Music Articles Forums Blog Chat More...      

Final Words


Get Flash to see this player.

Description
Final words are so potent. This is a song about such a moment. When deathbed words are unexpected. Just after the doctor left the room, explaining that it was now a matter of days, this old man of faith and conscience and absolutely no regret (or so I thought) said, "This is it"? and then, to me, "Do it differently." Without bitterness, perhaps slightly bemused. It became a moment of freedom, him letting go and giving me license. And so the music is happy, not melancholy, not melodramatic, but simply freeing.

The saxophone represents the dancing spirit of my father, flying in and out between the lines. In the coda, the solo becomes a trio as it joins the dance with his wife and his daughter (my sister) who preceded him in death.

Played by some of the same players as Pilgrim of the Return. Photo is my father walking up the stairs to his first home / birthplace.

Other songs featuring Woody Mankowski:
A Promise
Windowshade
River Runs Through Me
Pilgrim of the Return

This track was remastered and appears on my 2007 release, A Bit Of Light, available through CDBaby.
Leave a Comment
You must be registered and logged-in to comment.
Lyrics
Looking out the window, so hard to recognize.
(The gardens and the family tree are labors that don't lie.)
Final moments. The white room all around.
It's hard to think of things to say when you're never coming home.

"This is it. This is it," you say,
"So don't you waste a day."
This is it?

Never sadness in your eyes. No lines of regret.
And yet you turn and tell me to be different than you.
"Do it differently than me."
What do these words mean from a father who will always be my saint?

"This is it. This is it," you say,
"So don't you waste a day."
This is it?

Hold a mirror to your face.
Help you comb your hair in place.
Father, son and ghost embrace.
You look up and you say you're happy.

Don't know why, but I understand.

Bo du du ba ba di do do di
Bo du du ba bo.

Wish you wish me
Wishing for the other
If you if me
Wanting only to be...
Song Stats
Hits: 6397
Comments: 30
Fans: 13
Plays: 492
Downloads: 267
Votes: 33
Uploaded: Nov 11, 2004 - 08:14:14 AM
Last Updated: Jan 23, 2009 - 07:48:01 AM Last Played: Jan 28, 2017 - 10:02:33 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs

Creative Commons

Song Actions
share on facebook share on twitter download song
Hardware:
G4; Mackie CR1604 board; EV 757 mic
Soprano, tenor saxes: Woody Mankowski
Software:
GB 1.1
Comments
Suzanne said 4759 days ago (November 11th, 2004)
so full of life
what a great arrangement and sound, and what a great song! i love the almost James Taylor sense, like new age folk. the soprano sax makes me imagine exactly what you described that you wanted. (but you didn't tell them that you cut and pasted the ending soprano sax to create the trio out of different takes...) i didn't expect the tenor sax section, but it really works, and those cool notes they play under your later stanzas are very inventive, like tone poems. this is maybe your best work yet. so full of life, just like your father. (you have a very good bedside manner. thanks for sharing this personal moment.)
Check out my latest song called Rock The Baby With Voodoo (w/Tobin)
EdensEve said 4759 days ago (November 11th, 2004)
worth many listens
I'm new to the site and am thrilled by the songs. This is good enough to be on an album. Even though you wanted this song to be happy and uplifting, it touched me deeply, my eyes teared reading the words "help you comb your hair in place." I listened many times.
Cantor said 4759 days ago (November 11th, 2004)
i gotta take some lessons
ever think about giving a GB workshop? i'm still learning
the finesse and art of production. you do a great job at
that. i'm looking at your hardware: are those real
instruments or all synthetic? keep up the great work!
Check out my latest song called Modim Anakhnu Lakh
TobinMueller said 4758 days ago (November 12th, 2004)
i gotta take some lessons
Most all of the instruments are real. The last couple of songs I've shared on
MacJams have featured nearly all real instruments. Thanks for your
comments. The featured saxes are my long time friend, Woody Mankowski,
from Green Bay WI, with whom I work long distance via shared files on CDs
(he isn't quite wired into the Internet yet.)
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
SlimGirlFat said 4759 days ago (November 11th, 2004)
Tobin
Since I have been on this site, I have awaited your
uploads with eager anticipation...
and every time, you get me!
Whether it be a collab or your own work you really
manage to produce outstanding and unique work each
time.

I also notice that on this track your unique vocals are
really confident (not that they weren't before) but there is
something about the way you sing this track (and of
course the subject matter) that really stands out in its
excellence..

D/L
SlimGirlFat


TobinMueller said 4758 days ago (November 12th, 2004)
Tobin
Thanks for the comments on my vocals. I tried to sing this with lightness and
simplicity, not letting any melancholy over take me. There were times I kept
from using my natural vibrato, which ended up working (in places). It was a
dqy I could sing, so I took advantage. (There are many days now that I simply
cannot... even tho you have given me good advice that I continue to
postpone... but life has gotten busy lately.)
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
Mcboy said 4758 days ago (November 11th, 2004)
great.....
great feel and lyrics.......i like weaving soprano sax and
the sax ensemble.....and the guitar progression....the
vocals had a soothing quality and worked
well.......bravo.......
Check out my latest song called Bluesphemy (MJRF 2010)
TobinMueller said 4758 days ago (November 12th, 2004)
great.....
Thanks, friend.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
Z293 said 4758 days ago (November 11th, 2004)
Happy Song For Sad Moments
And beautifully told.
Check out my latest song called La Pavillon
ChrisSly said 4758 days ago (November 11th, 2004)
great music . . .
. . . as usual. I enjoy your work, and have given this song
the highest ratings I've given anything. Having said that,
there's one little thing that I noticed. In the lyrics, you
have the phrase "This is it?" including the question mark,
but both times I hear the phrase in the music, it does not
sound like a question.
Check out my latest song called La Valse Final Waltz
TobinMueller said 4758 days ago (November 12th, 2004)
great music . . .
Good catch. I thought of this as a possible criticism myself. But, even tho it
is a question, it is more of a statement, in retrospect. This IS it, I am
thinking, repeating his surprise comment, and taking it to heart, yet not
being willing to remove the question mark either. So, altho I struggled over
the phrasing on this line, I stuck with my original idea so as to not interfere
with my father's intent.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
futzpucker said 4758 days ago (November 12th, 2004)
A gift
Tobin, this song is triumphant on many levels. Musically it
is a highly skilled performance, and played with great
heart. The instrumentation and arrangement are pure art.
The lyrics are universal while being unique to your
relationship with your father. The emotion of this song is
true, and therefore will touch all who listen.

The listener can focus on different aspects of this song
with each listen - the wonderful sax parts and sections,
the sparse, wonderfully understated, highly skilled rhythm
section, the inventive chord changes, the interplay of
layered vocals (among your best, I think), the message
and feeling it gives through the lyrics and the mood of the
music...

This is a jewel, Tobin. Not a great surprise, given your
consistently high level of submissions, but a beautiful,
sparkling jewel. Congratulations.

Check out my latest song called Just As It Is
TobinMueller said 4758 days ago (November 12th, 2004)
A gift
Thanks for your careful listening and kind thoughts. I appreciate it very
much.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
legato said 4758 days ago (November 12th, 2004)
I know...
...what you are going through, believe me. Your father
would of wanted you to think about the good things you
two have shared in life. You did it justice here that's for
sure. I was really moved, but that's nothing new when it
comes your music. This piece especially has personal
meaning for me. Thank you for sharing this one!
Check out my latest song called The Hour - Knossos (Live Practice)
TobinMueller said 4758 days ago (November 12th, 2004)
I know...
Thanks. And you too.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
giovanni said 4758 days ago (November 12th, 2004)
It saddens me...
that this perfect song has been given 1's... without a comment explaining the score. It is very disrespectful to say the least.

Tobin - I've commented on this song before... and as you know, it is one of my favorites. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece.
Check out my latest song called You Monster
Del said 4752 days ago (November 17th, 2004)
It saddens me...
I second the emotion, even though the 1s have been erased by Admin, there
are 4s and 5s left to replace them. Equally saddening.
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
_nderscore said 4757 days ago (November 12th, 2004)
shining
really beautiful, tobin. full of personal warmth & uplifting
moments
Check out my latest song called glyd
gudkarma said 4755 days ago (November 15th, 2004)
very touching
my brother, very.
Check out my latest song called Ocean The
TobinMueller said 4688 days ago (January 21st, 2005)
very touching
Thanks, bro. Back at you.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
Del said 4752 days ago (November 17th, 2004)
Lyrics as poetry
What you do with so few words always astounds. All the way to the final stanza, "wish you wish me, wishing for the other...wanting only to be..." and so it is on the edge of death, unfinished and expectant. Within the circle of father-son. You always have a happiness, even in your saddest communications. And as you say you're happy, I listen and think, maybe, I understand too. I'm sure your father is at this moment. Bravo.
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
failteband said 4752 days ago (November 17th, 2004)
Meticulous production
Well done! I like the soprano sax treatment. I was
reminded of Ry Cooder, a great American musician, with
your vocals. I have downloaded this track for the time
when my dad passes and I need something to help me
deal with it. Thanks!
Check out my latest song called Electrovoxhumana
brewsta said 4737 days ago (December 3rd, 2004)
Meticulous production
I also agree on the production. I'd like to get my songs as tight as yours -- a combo of strong musicianship and producer skills. I also hear a James Taylor touch and a little Cat Stevens, but the soprano sax gives it your own original feel.
Check out my latest song called It Would Be Love
TobinMueller said 4688 days ago (January 21st, 2005)
Meticulous production
Thanks. It is my forever quest, always adding an only-me touch to whatever I
do. Glad you think so too. Just like being a son, we compose on the
shoulders of forefathers and mothers, and I acknowledge their inspiration
and try to add my originality into the mix, if only out of gratitude and respect.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
TennesseeVic said 4728 days ago (December 11th, 2004)
As another comment remarked:
Very James Taylor-ish. And that's a big compliment.

V.
Check out my latest song called Allegro from flute sonata 1 in C
TobinMueller said 4712 days ago (December 28th, 2004)
As another comment remarked:
Thanks. I was going for a James Taylor sensibility, they way he handles sad
topics with such straightforward upbeat fortitude and joy. And I grew up on
his guitar playing. Part of me. I appreciate the comparison.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
listen said 4704 days ago (January 5th, 2005)
this is it
It seems cliche but it often takes events like this to make
us realize - this really is it! Well done. Beautiful song.
Check out my latest song called Bossy girl in the staircase
fosod said 4671 days ago (February 7th, 2005)
crystal clear
masterpiece of accoustic production.
Check out my latest song called Totally Hoany
thetiler said 4652 days ago (February 26th, 2005)
Nice tune
My father died as well. I love the more upbeat feeling that
you used in this tune as opposed something that is too
depressing to listen to.

The synth guitar, I think that is what it is really comes
close to an actual acoustic guitar sound. Your
combinations really play well together.

Bill
Check out my latest song called They Went Underground
TobinMueller said 3225 days ago (January 23rd, 2009)
Upbeat feel
Funny how re-listening to this song, with its upbeat feel, helps me recall the upbeat way Dad remained until the very end (when fear took over, those last moments). Remembering the strength and the optimism helps for me. Thanks for sympathizing.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
Artist Info
artist photo
Name: Tobin Mueller
Location: Rowayton CT USA
send a note
I am a professional musician, composer, playwright and director. I've led a charmed life. I'm married to fellow MJer Suzanne and MJer Twonicus is my son, who currently sings and writes for rock bands in the NYC, D.C. and Cleveland areas. My second s... [see more]

Check out some of my other songs:

Genre Info

More songs in Soft Rock-Adult Contemporary:

Chat
Who's Online
158GB
Invisible Members: 0
Visitors: 104