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Description
Looking from some Critiques and and Suggestions. I've gotten to a point where there are a few things I want to do but I want to get some second opinions. What could/should I do differently? What can I add to beef up the sound or perfect the vocals? Thanks for your all your feedback
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Lyrics
Hannah worked at the Grocery Store , selling fruit by the Jersey Shore
In attempt to concede a defeat by the majority
She would blush at the very thought, that maybe I actually had enough guts to say clean up on aisle 8, my hearts on the floor
and all them crazy kids in tight girls pants and band t-shirts are making their way, making their way down the to cigarette aisle
and they all know that Hannah, that art school girl that all the boys loved ran the 20 items, only 20 items or less lane
and
She don't care for politics, no she don't
She don't care if you are wrong or right, pick your fights
think of ways to make her smile, Everyday
this is the final straw
One by one they line themselves up waiting through Delay
Two by two the line goes back as far as the debate
Three of them are falling for her in the midst of Change
Four men down 5 more to go Time to Go Time to Go!!!
In attempt to concede a defeat by the majority
She would blush at the very thought, that maybe I actually had enough guts to say clean up on aisle 8, my hearts on the floor
and all them crazy kids in tight girls pants and band t-shirts are making their way, making their way down the to cigarette aisle
and they all know that Hannah, that art school girl that all the boys loved ran the 20 items, only 20 items or less lane
and
She don't care for politics, no she don't
She don't care if you are wrong or right, pick your fights
think of ways to make her smile, Everyday
this is the final straw
One by one they line themselves up waiting through Delay
Two by two the line goes back as far as the debate
Three of them are falling for her in the midst of Change
Four men down 5 more to go Time to Go Time to Go!!!
davajonah
... thus I can't really give you any advice on beefing them up. This sounds pretty good to my ears, so maybe you don't need to do too much altering.
Really nice song indeed. :)