And so the world turns

TracyVosh

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Ok. I admit this one is about 2 minutes too long and drawn out but I think it's a pretty decent base of rampid piano loops. It reminds me of the world and our lives spinning in constant fluctuation. Would love any feedback on how to make this better, perhaps some transition suggestions (it loses ME half way through). Does it sound disorganized?

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Song Stats

Hits: 594
Comments: 14
Fans: 6
Plays: 63
Downloads: 0
Votes: 0
Uploaded: Nov 24, 2008 - 10:24:59 PM
Last Updated: Nov 24, 2008 - 10:32:14 PM Last Played: Sep 28, 2009 - 08:47:35 PM

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Comments

michael2

michael2 said 361 days ago (November 24th, 2008)

cool
i like the orchestral bit son top and the rhythms you chose were really interesting. it might be nice if you dropped everything out for a bit and had just a piano playing something kind of pretty, and then went back to the feel you already have. i guess something melodic would be nice over the top too. if not totally melodic, then something that served the purpose of a melody in that it would evolve over the song. i don't know if that makes sense or not. it didn't lose me, but you are right in that it could use a little more development.

Check out my latest song called Behind Enemy Lines (w/Bud and Particle Dots)

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 361 days ago (November 25th, 2008)
	Yes It makes complete sense...wonderful suggestions Michael! Thank you...you're right, it def needs some type of change to keep interest up. I'm gonna keep working on it. Check out my latest song called Octopus

LunaTrick	LunaTrick said 361 days ago (November 24th, 2008)
	Yes... interesting experiment Some good loop manipulation - and the orchestral textures are nicely done. As Michael says - good ideas, keep working on them! Check out my latest song called Luna Gypsy Heart II (Eternal Firelight)

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 361 days ago (November 25th, 2008)
	I will. Thanks so much, appreciate you checking it out and commenting LunaTrick! Check out my latest song called Octopus

dolby

dolby said 361 days ago (November 25th, 2008)

Interesting
Unexpected choice of drum loops - sounds like a very abstracted hip-hop track. Occurs to me that it might actually suit some kind of rapping over the top - maybe you should hunt down some of the MJ's rappers and see if they could help you out. It's a good loop-bed that could go somewhere - maybe you could try dropping a few things out at times (like michael says) and create some verse/chorus distinctions that might suit a vocal/rap - and maybe try bringing in some big hip-hop style breaks to beef it up....

Viel spas!

Check out my latest song called You Can't Win Them All

PrototypeEightyOne	PrototypeEightyOne said 361 days ago (November 25th, 2008)
	yo i agree with dolby the fist thing i started to do was freestyle in my head while listening to it, it has that dark underground feel...cool shit, this is my kind of track..good mix of loops voshster Check out my latest song called Confusion

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 361 days ago (November 25th, 2008)
	Yah That would be exciting! Thank you Dolby...I think I found the break, just need to find a fitting transitional melody. You have great ideas here. Thanks again. Check out my latest song called Octopus

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 361 days ago (November 25th, 2008)
	Oops and Ahhhhh I hit the wrong reply button. Excuse me Proto and Dolby! Can't ctr/com delete these. lol Ahhhh, thank you P - that's sweet, I'm so glad you like it! This is the one I was referring to yesterday. Check out my latest song called Octopus

VicDiesel	VicDiesel said 361 days ago (November 25th, 2008)
	Not bad I think it needs this lenght because you're building up very slowly. It actually holds my attention. But I don't like the drum part. Too soft and too dark; it kinda disappears in the mix. I would try to find something thas has more individuality. Check out my latest song called Desert Stars

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 361 days ago (November 25th, 2008)
	Thanks Vic. I appreciate your feedback and I can certainly punch the drums up a bit but I dono, I think the drums work and I like the dark atmosphere it lends...it's one of the things that I like about it. Check out my latest song called Octopus

Doadars Uncle	Doadars Uncle said 361 days ago (November 25th, 2008)
	Hey! I like the syncopated parts. In fact, you could move the whole thing into a crescendo, chaotic mess, then blast back to this more organized sequence. I like the parts that surprise me! Check out my latest song called Capitalist's Drag

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 361 days ago (November 25th, 2008)
	Exactly That's what I'm thinkin' too. I'm all about leading up to a surprise...and chaos, hmmmm, I can certainly entertain that idea! Thank you Uncle! Check out my latest song called Octopus

regulus

regulus said 361 days ago (November 25th, 2008)

I agree
with what they said.

To me some of the string parts could have be brought up a tad as you mostly have a bed for something to come along to. Great four columned bolstered kind of bed with all the draping at that. If you wand to get totally rad. How about a little synth sweeping pads and some SiFi effects not to present to spice it up some in a couple of frames.

It's a something about to happen and I don't think it's to long. Good things take a long time to perfect.

Smiles...........don't stop, your making the world a little better.

Check out my latest song called Won:23

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 360 days ago (November 26th, 2008)
	Thank you You're so kind Reg! Thank you so much. You guys are giving me such terrific ideas, I haven't even scratched the surface on this one. I can't wait till I can work on it some more. Check out my latest song called Octopus

kassia

kassia said 361 days ago (November 25th, 2008)

cinema
This has a definite soundtrack feel to me. I love those strings - wanted them to be louder and get louder and build build build! Definitely think about Doadar's idea of building this up big into a chaotic mass - and then drop it all out to michael's idea of a melodic little piano line. THAT would be cool! And i really like the beats you chose, with that dark, deep feel. Cool stuff here. I don't think it even needs vocals, just a bit more development.

Check out my latest song called Deep Majesty

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 360 days ago (November 26th, 2008)
	Crescendo I'm loving this idea more and more. Thanks Kassia, you're awesome! I was at a loss when I posted this but you all have gotten me so pumped to go back to the drawing board on this one. Yes! Can't wait...thank you again. Check out my latest song called Octopus

tokai

tokai said 358 days ago (November 28th, 2008)

Hi
this is nicely done with some unique parts put together. I am all for trying new ideas out, why not! I like to go back to tunes after a while and try to change them. The more you make, the more you listen to the tunes that you have loved all your life and listen out for what makes them work or not work! The process is just as important as the end results. If it were me, i would try to make things vary in simple ways, first. Like automation, volume and panning, adding effects changing the mood. Doing what you are doing is just fine, it all fits into place eventually. Thats why it is so good here, you get to try things out. Hope this helps.

Check out my latest song called maizuru/Bud/Char

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 358 days ago (November 28th, 2008)
	That's what I say, "Why not"? The exciting part is the developmental stages. Thanks Tokai! Of course it helps...to me, any feedback is good feedback. I appreciate you stopping by! Check out my latest song called Octopus

kristyjo	kristyjo said 356 days ago (November 30th, 2008)
	Good solid bed- of sound. Split it up with a B section as others have suggested. Or, submit it as very good video game background music as it is. Really, the stuff I play could use this kind of soundtrack instead of some of the cheesy stuff they're using. Check out my latest song called What a Friend We Have in Jesus

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 355 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
	Wow! What a compliment KristyJo! Thank you so much...I definitely need to take these excellent suggestions and jump back on this one asap. Check out my latest song called Octopus

lavalamp	lavalamp said 352 days ago (December 4th, 2008)
	Original as hell It could be used in a detective film. It doesn't sound disorganized at all. Soundtrack quality. It gives me "the something's gonna happen" feel. Cool stuff, Dave Check out my latest song called Googolplex Times Zero

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 352 days ago (December 4th, 2008)
	Thank you Dave! That's awesome and makes me feel oh so good, especially since I was so unsure of this one. Thanks again!! Check out my latest song called Octopus

chronologic

chronologic said 341 days ago (December 15th, 2008)

Does have a good feel
"underground", "sneaky", words like that are fitting. This morning I visited LenGold's page and got thinking about Nitzer Ebb. They had a song on Big Hit that was one of my favorites, similar to this. I believe it was "border talk" but I'm not sure. I agree with the comment by Vic on the drums... but I also agree with you. Along with some melody modification you could consider amping up a section with more drums. Not necessarily the whole song. Those two mods could add more motion which is what I think you're looking for.

Check out my latest song called Walk with You

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 336 days ago (December 20th, 2008)
	Thanks! I appreciate that Chron. Yes, it's been a long time since I've heard them so I can't remember but now you've got me itchen' to go check out this song! Thank you for the ideas...I think that would really help build it up more in certain sections, I appreciate it! Check out my latest song called Octopus

abfkingsport	abfkingsport said 152 days ago (June 22nd, 2009)
	ABFkingsport Nice power. Well done. I would suggest maybe a tempo change or solo piano or both. Still, very solid as is. You have another fan. The King Check out my latest song called Gold Digger

TracyVosh	TracyVosh said 95 days ago (August 18th, 2009)
	ABFkingsport Thank you!!! That means a lot to me ABF! I appreciate you... Check out my latest song called Octopus

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I thought I'd join the community of MJ to enjoy all the wonderful talent here and meet great people who share one common passion. I'm also here to get creative constructive criticism and feedback to see how I can improve and learn. I have always h... [see more]

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