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| VicDiesel said 360 days ago (November 30th, 2008) | |
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Poly-tonal There are some interesting dissonances here. You seem to switch between keys pretty quickly, and one phrase begins before another is properly ended. Very cool effect. Ultimately you may be stretching that one theme a bit far. The repetitions in different keys and different instruments are not enough to sustain 5 minutes. You should develop this piece further. The beginning sounds very good and quite unique. Check out my latest song called Desert Stars
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| fabien0784 said 360 days ago (November 30th, 2008) | |
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thanks for listening to say the truth, as it was mentioned in a previous comment, the structure is more or less "natural" or "random" (to be more prosaïc). I just used my own experience of how instruments should get together and try to make it a reality. I don't know about the length : do you mean it becomes repetitive ? I was thinking about adding another speedy part at about the 2/3 (something that echoes the beginnning). Hm... this would require to find the time when the listener becomes bored... tbc Check out my latest song called Blues du 11ème
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| kristyjo said 360 days ago (November 30th, 2008) | |
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Very nice themes Lovely snippets of thematic material. I agree with Vic, however, that at a couple of points there should be more development. Perhaps expand that 8 beat rhythmn into 16 beats. At 3:50 you give us something rhythmically different and slow it down. That's nice. I like the very slow build of the 'voice', and how at first, you're only subliminally aware of it. Keep working at it. It sounds to me like you could strip out some deadwood between 2 and 3 minutes, and then have a recapitulation of the first themes back again at the end. Check out my latest song called What a Friend We Have in Jesus
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| Bowman said 360 days ago (November 30th, 2008) | |
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Unusual. Somewhat random and fragmented but personal and not at all boring. Check out my latest song called The Orion Express - MJ Space Race 2009 by Bowman
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| sschedra said 312 days ago (January 17th, 2009) | |
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Wow what a collage I see a lot of different edges to the same rock. I like it and respect the effort to place these different elements together. I agree that the main theme might need some help to make it through five minutes, but I wouldn't know what to do myself so . . . Complex and interesting and well produced. thank you, Stephen Check out my latest song called Love's Fingers Fall
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| fabien0784 said 312 days ago (January 17th, 2009) | |
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well the next version "mountain melody" is posted here, but it also needs rework... As usual, changing a small part will influence all the rest. Thanks for listening. Kind regards. Check out my latest song called Blues du 11ème
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| stviemr said 175 days ago (June 3rd, 2009) | |
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Mountainous It certainly has melody. I appreciate the unusual harmony employed and the flirtations between the different melodies. I do like the 'quiet' sense of the piece too? Reminds me of mountains in that regard. Check out my latest song called Stargazing
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Doadars Uncle
I enjoy this dimensional feel with transitions. It is like the uncertain winds through craggy peaks.