One More Song

stacey

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Hello there. I hope you guys can give me some great Macjammers advice on this one.

Please be kind, this was a one-take-wonder. Just playing and singing, one track, so I know it's rough, but it's just a scratch track to work from. I'm looking for any tips about the song itself. I'm submitting it to a feature film (when it's complete!) Thanks so much in advance!

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Lyrics

ONE MORE SONG

Stacey K. Black

i reached out from under my parasol
felt the rain on my hands and that was all
dared to take a peek up to the sky
i found there was no joy in staying dry

mmm mmm mmm mmm

i put one foot in front of the other
and left a space that had been occupied by another
before i knew it i was flying on my feet
finding treasures unknown on the other side of the street

mmm mmm mmm mmm

now i'm ready for anything
who knows what my future might bring
but i've got one more song, i've got one more song to sing

if my world's a stage well it's been dark for many seasons
and why now? why turn on the lights? well i've got my reasons
'cause in an instant this could all be gone
before i've had a change to sing one more song

mmm mmm mmm mmm
oh oh oh oh

and now i'm ready for anything, for anything
who knows what my future might bring
and i've got one more song, i've got one more song to sing
i've got one more song to sing
oh i've got one more song

© 2008, Stacey K. Black
ASCAP, Hear Me Roar Music Publishing

Song Stats

Hits: 1676
Comments: 16
Fans: 12
Plays: 78
Downloads: 0
Votes: 7
Uploaded: Dec 08, 2008 - 09:32:33 PM
Last Updated: Dec 08, 2008 - 09:32:33 PM Last Played: Aug 25, 2012 - 01:02:04 AM

Song License

Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Song Actions

Hardware:

the usual suspects. Taylor 814 (my one true love. sigh), mac powerbook, etc.

Software:

GarageBand forever, baby!

Comments

edpdx	edpdx said 1625 days ago (December 8th, 2008)
	Sweet voice and a great song! Everything sounds polished edpdx Check out my latest song called Tiny Dreams

Feter

Feter said 1625 days ago (December 8th, 2008)

One More Song
ehhh this was one take ? jee this is so wonderful ...
about what this can be added with ... I feel this can
take a floating flute ...sure ..you can start the first
two lines with your guitar then let the whole band get
to boom with you to give a big beat moving to roll ...
then it will be folk rock song ...you might add only
some percussions and upright bass sound for rythym
section ...some B3 ? ...dunno I cant think more than
1970 ...so I might not be good for the market standard
thank you so very much for sharin such gem !!!

p.s
sorry for the babble ...'you asked for it lol '

Check out my latest song called Roll with it

Mystified	Mystified said 1625 days ago (December 9th, 2008)
	oh yeah.... ! I'm not one to critique, here :P This is great! You're so very, very talented! :) Thank you for letting us hear this! Check out my latest song called the snowflake dances

thoddi

thoddi said 1625 days ago (December 9th, 2008)

great song
This is a very good song Stacey. I can easily visualize something in the way of what Feter sais. But it all depends on what kind of mood you're after and what kind of film you are making it for of course.

Do you have a band ready to go into a pro studio to do the version aimed for the film or will you be doing it all by yourself?

Maybe a collection of good people here at macjams could help polish it up for broadcast:)

You sure have a fab voice:)

Check out my latest song called And here comes Christmas Eve

lavalamp

lavalamp said 1625 days ago (December 9th, 2008)

It doesn't matter
I posted a rough demo on my last post. I really like hearing demos. Your voice sounds excellent heard.

What I hear is, A song that begins with just singing and acoustic and then builds up to a full song (With drums, bass and strings...) and then back to acoustic and singing.

Very well-crafted song. And quite proper. Send it to American Idol (I'm not really kidding.) You could get a nice fat paycheck for this one!

Dave

Check out my latest song called A Funky Little Thing

J.A.Stewart

J.A.Stewart said 1625 days ago (December 9th, 2008)

Hmm...
Let me get back to you on this... there's an interesting chordal change in the chorus that (to my ears) seems to be missing an opportunity... perhaps an additional chord, or augmentation, I'm not sure.

I also hear this song working better as a piano piece, but of course, that could be done easily in the final arrangement.

Content-wise, an unusually hopeful outlook, coming from the *Stacey Diaries*. ;)

--- Joe

Check out my latest song called A Chance To Dream

stacey

stacey said 1625 days ago (December 9th, 2008)

One More Song
Hi Joe,

I know what you mean about the chordal change. If you figure out what I'm missing please let me know! The song is in the key of A, even though I start on E. Then, the chorus goes from D, to F(add E), to A, E, D, and resolves back at A. So, I know I like the sudden change to the F, and the added E brings it back to the key, and I like a little disruption, thematically I think it's cool, but I know what you mean. There's just something.... argh! I don't know. Thanks for mentioning it!

You're the best.

Stacey

Check out my latest song called tick tock

MikeNY	MikeNY said 1625 days ago (December 9th, 2008)
	Great song! Hi Stacey, I rarely comment but really loved this song. It sorta' reminds me of one of Heart's early acoustic pieces. Good luck with the feature film. They'd be crazy not to use it. Check out my latest song called Will Justice Be Done?

Moses

Moses said 1624 days ago (December 9th, 2008)

Kinda
shocked this is just one take. Sounds pretty fine. Lovely vocals. Well constructed, I bet a lot of people here would have fun collaborating to add other instruments. Not that it needs it. I think it sounds fine as an acoustic piece. My only critique would be that the guitar performance could be better, but as you said one take so hard to really critique. Thanks for sharing this

Check out my latest song called I'm Gonna Leave This Home

Jayrodd	Jayrodd said 1624 days ago (December 9th, 2008)
	Nice Beautiful voice..and that taylor another beautiful voice in its own right. I think its fine as is..maybe some backing strings or a cello solo or something like that. Check out my latest song called Broken

Ed Hannifin

Ed Hannifin said 1624 days ago (December 9th, 2008)

A lot of Cheryl Wheeler...
...in this one...

Great dynamics in this, Stacey, and excellent lyric writing...I can certainly imagine it finding a place in a film...

I don't feel inspired to jump on it compositionally at all.

When you're making the demo-for-real, I'd suggest using some subtle-but-definite compression on both the guitar and the voice, 'cause on both of them you've got a wide dynamic range going, and the song will come across better if the levels are more even...

And then, well, my 'usual suspects'....some guitar on left and right doing different things...get a fwoopy bass going and who knows? Mandolin? Violin? Cello?

You are, lately, the living embodiment of the 'woodshedding musician', or the 'woodshedding songwriter'...Better and better by turns...

Ed

Check out my latest song called Uno/I Like The Way... (with Macaudion, SISTERS, ktb, and ziti)

Ed Hannifin	Ed Hannifin said 1624 days ago (December 9th, 2008)
	Whoa... I just posted a comment that posted instantly! And I just DELETED a comment! And the page looks different... Hey! I just DELETED a comment! This could change my whole lifestyle! Okay. Now then. Back to Stacey's cool song... Check out my latest song called Uno/I Like The Way... (with Macaudion, SISTERS, ktb, and ziti)

racerat

racerat said 1623 days ago (December 11th, 2008)

one word
Hey Stacey. Tryin to keep up with your stuff. I think this has great potential. First comment: "parasol" in the first line. It's a bit vintage and sets a odd tone for an otherwise current and conversational tune. The lyrics are pretty tight. Second: At 2:13- why turn on the lights- you are really belting it and it sounds GREAT. You should cut loose more. But then I'm always saying that. You can be gritty, I know you got it in ya. Third: also agree with the need for a bass, or a low pad to ground the upper register guitar work. Ace.
Philip

Check out my latest song called My Broken Sky

saymme	saymme said 1622 days ago (December 11th, 2008)
	.... ! Lovely ! One More Song ...what a great title ! Your voice is so lovely...pure & really sounds WONDERFUL : ) Onetake - WOW ! tx for sharing hope to hear it agin ...! ThankYou !! My Pleasure

stacey

stacey said 1617 days ago (December 16th, 2008)

Hey thanks!
You guys are so sweet! I think I'm going to work on recording this with just vox and guitar, but reallllllly well. As in, you know, doing the guitar track and getting it perfect, then singing a vocal track (or two) over it. But I think keeping it simple and clean is the way to go. However, when my band gets ahold of it, it'll be all rock n roll for performing.

Thanks again you guys!

Check out my latest song called tick tock

guitapick

guitapick said 1616 days ago (December 18th, 2008)

I find it difficult...
...to critique a live performance...especially when it's a voice and guitar (or piano)...part of the beauty of it is in it's directness and simplicity...and I thought this was "just right" as they say. Great lyrics and a heartfelt delivery.

I you choose to separate the tracks, I suppose that beautiful Taylor could be miced a bit closer to capture a little more of it's fullness (though it sounds sweet as is). A pedalsteel would sound nice, doing fills...or some other instrument with good sustain. Add bass and, possibly, drums, too. That's all about whether to move towards more vs staying at less (less can be good, I'm sure you know).

As far as composition: My personal preference is not to critique that area unless it's obviously in need. That's not the case, here (to my ear, at least). As I said: part of the effectiveness here is the directness. But you know what's best for your song, in that area. If you feel the need for extra, I'm sure you'll find what you want.

Cool tune, Stacey

Check out my latest song called 'Cuz I Can

egobandit	egobandit said 1614 days ago (December 20th, 2008)
	The guitar and your voice complement each other. The live aspect of this gives it a more warm feel. Excellent composition.. I hope you get the gig Check out my latest song called walkin out my door

Remark80	Remark80 said 1614 days ago (December 20th, 2008)
	Great Voice Paula Cole look out!!! I like how you are mellow at the beginning verses and hit it higher as the song goes on. You have really great range. Alot of feeling on this one. Check out my latest song called The World is a Stage

Hectorious	Hectorious said 1134 days ago (April 13th, 2010)
	Wow girl You come a long way in 4 yrs. with you music writing. Very impressive Stacey Black Check out my latest song called Late Night Bus Ride (Sample)

Fan List

Artist Info

Name: Stacey K. Black
Location: Sunny California

My latest short film, "The Truth Is Underrated," has been accepted as an Official Selection in the 2008 Action On Film International Film Festival, and has been nominated in the category: Best Female Filmmaker - Shorts. Also, just got the notif... [see more]

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