DIY Salvation

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Retro Plien

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Description

This is a work in progress that we're after some feedback on. Written by drummer/vocalist Peter Reid and "supplemented" by Neil Porter, this is the first version of our first collaboration - warts and all! A collaboration where we can sit in the same room and discuss it :)

A few questions:

We're unsure of the vocal - sung or spoken.

If sung, does anyone have a person in mind at MJ? If you'd like to have a crack at the vocal, send us a note.

Are there too many synths?

Production sound OK?

Anything else?

This is a new field for both of us, and so far we're a little intrigued by what we've come up with. Drums, bass and guitars are live. Synths are all played - no loops.

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Lyrics

DIY Salvation
© 2009 Peter Reid

I fix my eyes on
The far horizon
What I see’s not good
It frightens me

Myself, I’ll get through
My children might too
After them, so grim
The chances slim

Counter futility
Take responsibility
Do not rely
On those in charge

Don’t rely
On the guys
At the top

Don’t depend
They won’t defend
Your children

Rhetoric and conjecture
Will not protect you
You must take action
now

Don’t trust the powers
In final hours
They’ll throw your children
Overboard

Don’t depend
They won’t defend
The earth

Pie in the sky
To rely on
The top

*********

You pray to gods
That’s just bad odds
There’s no-one there to
Fix things up

Don’t trust the churches
Don’t trust the nations
They’re all corrupted
Corporations

Don’t depend
They won’t defend
Your future

Watch their behaviour
They’re not your saviour
You’re collateral

Take up the clear view
You’ll see it’s just you
Can give your grandchildren
a chance

You are the answer
To stop earth’s cancer
You must think how
You must act now

It’s not funny
They just want money
You don’t count

Pie in the sky
To rely
On the top

Don’t be a sucker
They don’t give a f**k a
‘Bout you !

********

Song Stats

Hits: 596
Comments: 13
Fans: 6
Plays: 26
Downloads: 38
Votes:
Uploaded: Jan 27, 2009 - 12:57:11 AM
Last Updated: Jan 27, 2009 - 01:27:00 AM Last Played: Nov 24, 2009 - 04:24:27 AM

Song License

Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Song Actions

Hardware:

Drum kit
Fender Precision Bass
Fender Telecaster
Yamaha PSR300 keyboard
Rode NT3 mic
Old Shure mic
Behringer mixer/preamps
HP PC
iMac G5

Software:

Cubase LE4
Logic Studio

Comments

Skean	Skean said 302 days ago (January 27th, 2009)
	Sounds live And I can't find any nits in there, I just enjoyed the tune... Cool tune w though lyrics. P.S maybe the singing reminds me little about "egobandit" or "echoroom" just my thought. Peace --- Kenta Check out my latest song called Let's Go Trippy

jiguma	jiguma said 302 days ago (January 27th, 2009)
	Good call Kenta I hadn't thought of Steve or Tim. Neil Check out my latest song called Lost In Translation (w Mike Watkins)

thoddi

thoddi said 302 days ago (January 27th, 2009)

Hi
Must be a treat to play together in real life. The energy present in a setting like that is quite different from doing email collabs or recordings track by track.

You've asked for input, so here it comes...
It's a pretty long song, and one thing I get hung up on is that the repeating drum pattern at start and the swaying bass pattern is initially cool, but gets a bit too repetitive after a while, even when the rhythm is altered some with the addition of the ride and several instruments. I'd consider changing the drum pattern to something not so 'eye catching', and maybe placing the drums not so upfront in the mix. To my taste I think it's initially cool, but in such a long piece it gets a bit in the way after a while...

I like the guitar hook-line or theme. It adds a little rock'n roll and puts a little spice in the mix.

It reminds me of early Pink Floyd, and has potential to get very cool. Maybe a narration from Caroline in addition to someone singing would be cool...?

Check out my latest song called Don't tell me what I can't w/KTB and Ingve

jiguma

jiguma said 302 days ago (January 27th, 2009)

Thanks for having a listen Thor!
Good points - sometimes we get so close we can't see things that are pretty obvious ("can't see the wood for the trees" in English). I hadn't thought of the drum pattern, but its something Peter might like to think about (although he worked so hard to get it right!). I'd also like to free up the bass a little.

Caroline ..... what a great idea!

Thanks Thor - my guitar parts (the rock ones anyway) were a little inspired by what you did on "Things Must Change".

Cheers,
Neil

Check out my latest song called Lost In Translation (w Mike Watkins)

Feter

Feter said 302 days ago (January 27th, 2009)

DIY Salvation
Kudos for no loops ...certainly the vocal this way has the taste of Neil
so who why the change this ? ..this is so cool to play an ol folky psychic
song ..the drums so effective with brightness ..the bass boom good ..the
lil touch of the guitar was great till the burst of the song when I think
the synth sounds need to reduce a bit ..give a breathe to the guitars ...
but then it sounds like magical rainbow tv scene with all swirl images ..
this is just so terrific ..top notch production specialy on the crystal clear
sound ... deepest bow !!!

Check out my latest song called A Night With Feter feat'(Roxylee sloparts crissew johnwhitehead and Yamin AL Yamani )

jiguma	jiguma said 301 days ago (January 28th, 2009)
	Cheers Feter Glad you liked what you heard. More guitars sounds a good idea to me - and that might be just what happens in another version. I guess it is a bit psychedelic ;) Thanks for listening so carefully and giving us something to work on. Peace, Neil Check out my latest song called Lost In Translation (w Mike Watkins)

davajonah

davajonah said 302 days ago (January 27th, 2009)

Yes - early Floyd!
I hear that too. :-)

Feedback - well firstly it's a really nice tune. I do hear a little squeaking, near the start, possibly on one of the synths. Maybe you could eq it out? Maybe not - it does give a nice live feel to it. :) Not noticeable later on as things get busier. Not sure about the vocals - the fx that is. Maybe a little too muffled, especially at the quieter start of the tune. Perhaps that's what you were after, but I think they need to be made clearer. Also I would drop the swirly synth/organ back a little and bring up the guitar and pianos, especially on the right channel. The bass and guitar are just right ;) and I also like the drums. Lyrics are really good.

Please bear in mind I am a complete amateur and may be talking a load of bull, but I think that with a little more work in the mix - separating things a little more, this could be a truly great song. Very cool. :-)

Check out my latest song called Pavlov's Dog

jiguma

jiguma said 301 days ago (January 28th, 2009)

Cheers Dave
squeaking synths - whatever next :)

We weren't really after anything much at this stage, just mainly trying to see what we could do. We'll be re-doing vocals next week, then fiddling with it before sending it off to a friend of Peter's for some more ideas. Not in the same room, but only 2 and a half hours away.

Thanks for listening and leaving us with some extra ideas.

btw, its been 35 degrees here today - mid 40s in Victoria, south of us (and that's coming our way!). Enjoy the winter ;)

Cheers,
Neil

Check out my latest song called Lost In Translation (w Mike Watkins)

Vic Holman

Vic Holman said 301 days ago (January 27th, 2009)

cool
trippy. I'm sure you knew I would dig this.

just some ideas:
at the beginning. I would probably have the bass come up in volume slowly. there is some interesting effected stuff that's not easy to pick up at first and sounds intriquing.

another idea would be at some points to try one on of the filter effects on the drums. the auto filter plug in can do some cool things

maybe also try a spot or two where very little is going on, giving it a quite moment. For instance maybe just the drum, vocal and a synth. (I tend to refer to them as valleys and hills) if that makes any since.

The effected vocals I actually found pretty cool.

These, of course are ideas on how maybe I might look at it. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't

Overall, I really like this quite a bit. A pretty trippy direction.

Check out my latest song called November

jiguma

jiguma said 301 days ago (January 28th, 2009)

Vic
thanks for stopping by for a listen. Lots of good thoughts and suggestions there. I haven't used the auto filter plugin - must give it a whirl. Yeah, "light and shade" - I really did have good intentions to do some of that, but I just see a canvas and want to fill it. It is a pretty busy piece for sure.

The way you might look at it is particularly relevant for this tune.

Cheers from Oz,
Neil

Check out my latest song called Lost In Translation (w Mike Watkins)

mikkinylund

mikkinylund said 301 days ago (January 28th, 2009)

Surprise
I honestly did not expect this, which once again proves the idiom of expecting anything at all. This is a powerful anthem, almost a bit Pink Floyd'ish I would say. The bass and the synths works for me, not too much of anything. I would suggest however, to keep the effect down on the vocals, I at least, don't find the effects needed or find a true need for them (on the vocals that is). The lyrics works for me. The break is awesome, I would turn up the guitar some, I want it in my face so to speak, potentially keep other instruments except the bass lower on the break. The double vocals after the break doesn't quite work for me, it takes me away from the story, it may not be a bad idea, but how it's done doesn't do it. The end is powerful. Overall, I think the song could be shortened some, especially in the verses after the break, as well as the powerful ending, which by the way, I could see even getting a bit more crazy, more far out drumming, psychadelic... That would give an exact meaning to not only the last words, but the the song as a whole.

This is very surprising though, I really like it. It's different, perhaps unique in some ways. You have a really good start here.

Mikki

PS. I could sing to this. :)

Check out my latest song called Fairyland (Satumaa)

Ed Hannifin

Ed Hannifin said 300 days ago (January 28th, 2009)

A lot of folks have already said...
...much of what I would say...

The high tones, especially noticeable at the beginning, but not only there, are just on the edge of my aging hearing, and bother me a little... Get me wincing...

I could hear Steve (echoroom) having a wonderful time with this, and I could also hear Peter Greenstone, if one could find him...

I like the vocals effected, and both of the above are good at that...If they're doubled, I think they have to be very tight or words get lost, and on a song like this if words are lost the impact of the song is muted. And I almost always vote for sung vocals. Too easy to get precious or pretentious with spoken lyrics....

I think this is a strong song, so there's no question that it'll go in good directions... I hear the Floydishness, certainly... I could do with thick synths coming forward, panned and swirling and all that... At first I thought I didn't like the drums playing, but I think what I'm not liking is what seems to me to be a somewhat dry and flat drum SOUND...I think much could be done with EQ, compression and reverb in that department...

I keep forgetting to mention the bass. I should NEVER forget to mention the bass when Neil's playing. Compress that puppy and bring it up into its place in the mix.

There are some echos of Gilmour in the Tele phrases, and I might try to let the phrases drop into the spaces BETWEEN vocals, so they're not fighting to capture the listener's attention. Compress the Tele, too, and reverb it, and have some slow bends or phrases, but also stretch for some melodic fragments that are a little longer...

And it needs cowbell. What's WRONG with you guys?!?

I hope, Noble Plien, that this is "feedback, not ego boosting" enough for you. I think, actually, that this is a solid song and there are some really solid elements in here, and much might be rectified in a better mix.

Really like this, though... I look forward to its evolution, guys...

Ed

Check out my latest song called Next Time Around (w/jiguma)

jiguma	jiguma said 276 days ago (February 21st, 2009)
	Cheers Ed! Ed - goes to show: my hearing is so stuffed at that frequency that I can barely hear the sounds you refer to! :( Check out my latest song called Lost In Translation (w Mike Watkins)

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