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My Heart


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I decided to finally post this song on MJ, after thinking long and hard about whether or not I am ready for the heavy criticism. This is the first song I've ever created on GarageBand or on any computer program for that matter. I am not satisfied with this creation because I can still hear my computer motor whirring in the background! I figure a microphone would be an easy solution, so that's not what I'm worried about! I am concerned about the quality of the loops I've used and the equalizer settings. I had trouble with choosing which effects to put on what without it sounding too distorted. Another thing is, the song is a whopping 6 minutes 48 seconds long, I am also not a phenomenal lyricist, so it was a bit hard to come up with fancy words, but the song reflects feelings and thoughts that I had while digging up some old memories. I would like some feedback on this since it's my first try at this stuff. Thanks for listening and please, please, comment. Even if you just want to say hi, I don't care, I want to see who's listening and any thoughts that come to mind.
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Lyrics
Help me, I'm crying
Help me, I'm dying

All I do is sit at home
and think about you
you're nowhere to be found
and I lay on the ground

Tears are falling
Tears are running
Down my face,
I can't see

I don't deserve to be alone
because I love you.
My blade to cut with
can't be found
and here I am on the ground

Tears are running
Tears are falling
down my face
I can't breathe

My heart can't take it
My mind can't break it
Your eyes can't fake it
Your eyes can't lie
lie
Your eyes can't lie

Lie to me
Lie
Just lie to me

All I do is sit at home
and think about you
You're nowhere to be found
and I lay on the ground

Tears are falling
Tears are running
down my face

Face
Face
Look at my face
Look at my face
Look at my face
on the ground
tears are falling
eyes swelled shut
and I can't see you
you

My heart
bleeding in my hands
for you
My heart
My heart
My heart
bleeding in my hands
for you
My heart
bleeding in my hands
for you

My heart
bleeding in my hands
for you

bleeding in my hands for you
my heart bleeding in my hands for you
take my heart
take my heart

bleeding in my hands for you

for you

just for you

bleeding in my hands for you
everything's for you
Song Stats
Hits: 2627
Comments: 25
Fans: 3
Plays: 372
Downloads: 84
Votes: 23
Uploaded: Nov 23, 2004 - 11:25:37 AM
Last Updated: Nov 23, 2004 - 11:39:24 PM Last Played: Aug 31, 2009 - 04:48:00 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
iMAC G5 with built-in mic
Software:
Duh. GarageBand.. it came free with the computer!!!
Comments
said 1825 days ago (November 23rd, 2004)
Frankly, Scarlette...
...My first GarageBand composition was over 6 minutes
long. It's difficult to stop once you start. There are a lot of
things going on in your first attempt here. You certainly
exhibit your talent to sing... your next step is writing and
arranging.

Your choice of loops compliments your vocals... or vice
versa. You will need to go back in and isolate the best
parts. The strongest vocals, the best loop combos... and
then limit their usage. Organize the passages in a logical
order. Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Bridge... repeat
where neccessary.

That little synth part could come sooner... and then be
repeated. Doubling your vocal parts will add a richness
and fullness. Variation is always welcome to maintain
interest by your audience.

Ooohs and Aaahs always go a long, long way. The talking
vocals could build up to the refrain... with a coda,
crescendo... and then ultimate ending of layered vocals...
that could fade in repetition.

Hope this helps a bit!
Nolan said 1824 days ago (November 23rd, 2004)
"Hi"
I'm listening. Well done on your first go. I think the loops
you've used create a good sound and your voice is great.

Like Alimar said, you've got to think about writing the
different parts: verse, chorus, bridge. Watch out for too
much repetition. I think with this song, the indicator that
you need to mix it up a bit, is the that the bass loop is the
same all the way through. I think it needs a change - a
chorus where the backbone (the bass line) is completely
different.

Also, like I said before, your voice is great, and you sing
this really well - you mix it up with your vocals. But when
you're writing a melody, listen really hard to the chords
over which you're singing it. Make sure they compliment
each other. In the second part of the song, that begins
with "I don't deserve to be alone...", the melody doesn't fit
with the chords.

There's some great parts in this song, though. The use of
the piano loop is very cool. I look forward to hearing your
second song.
Check out my latest song called Fine
SCARLETTE1976 said 1824 days ago (November 23rd, 2004)
Thank you!
Hey there, Alimar and Nolan. First of all, thank you for the
compliments on my vocal abilities. I will attempt to
shorten the song, bringing the first synth part to start a
bit earlier and the second to follow in a more organized
fashion. I am not sure what you mean by doubling my
vocals.. you mean to duplicate that vocal track and have
two of the same to add a richer sound? Also, the bass line
does change at one point, but maybe I need more of a
variation somewhere, maybe during the second verse so
that the melody will fit the verse like Nolan had
suggested. Ok, guys.. thanks again, I will keep an eye out
for more comments tonight. =)
Check out my latest song called My Heart
said 1824 days ago (November 23rd, 2004)
Doubling vocals...
By doubling your vocals, you can either sing the same lines twice (in two
different tracks)... and pan one to the left and the other to the right (slightly)
OR duplicate the single phrases that are there... and offset them slightly
horizontally in two separate tracks.

---
"Follow your dreams"
Nolan said 1824 days ago (November 24th, 2004)
Thank you!
Sorry about that - I didn't notice the change. You're right though, maybe that
means it just needs more of a variation. Keep it up. Looking forward to
some more.
Check out my latest song called Fine
TobinMueller said 1824 days ago (November 24th, 2004)
Sexy vocals
You have a very sexy pleasant voice that will go a long
way without much help. I think the EQ and effects work.
Also, lyrics aren't about fancy words, but phrases that
paint emotions and images, often phrases that are very
familiar and ordinary. Or lyrics are about being
devastatingly honest, so specific that they become
universal. These lyrics lack the details I look for to make
them unique and speak to me person to person, they are
too general. This song is about sitting around waiting, so
the repetitive nature of it works conceptually, but
musically (for my taste) it is simply too much into a single
groove and chord progression. But your voice is
compelling and alluring and covers over many things. I
look forward to more.
Check out my latest song called Forge A New Life (MJRF)
ChrisSly said 1824 days ago (November 24th, 2004)
Nothing heavy
This is pretty good for a first effort. You do have a lovely
quality to your singing, and you are doing some
interesting things with it, sliding pitches. It is not the
length of the piece - songs are as long as they are - but
that there isn't a whole lot of build, or much of a hook to
latch on to. But it'll come. Keep playing with the program,
keep listening, try to emulate songs you like, figure out
what you like and why, and then do that with your own
songs.
Check out my latest song called La Valse Final Waltz
Paul_T said 1824 days ago (November 24th, 2004)
Keep experimenting with your voice
You've put together a great first effort, but you can only
do so much with a fixed set of loops. Your voice clearly
sets you apart, so why not accentuate your strengths even
more than you do here? Try building songs by singing
almost stream of conscious over a rhythm loop. Then add
another layer of voice doing something else. Then
another. Let the chords and melodies emerge naturally on
their own. I can tell by this piece that you have a natural
talent for finding melodies and harmonies. Try building
the song around you rather than building your voice
around the song!

When you're through recording voice tracks, then you can
figure out what notes and chords you made, then you can
build on those using software instruments.

Works for me anyway.

Take care!
Check out my latest song called Armor Pajamas
hacked_to_pieces said 1824 days ago (November 24th, 2004)
Not
bad for a first effort, you have a nice voice, and show a
strong sense of melody. The main thing is to continue
singing, writing and sharing your creations with the rest
of us.
Check out my latest song called blues shuffle
alanfraser said 1824 days ago (November 24th, 2004)
Says It Pretty Well
It's a long tune but that kind of helps with the feeling of
being lost with lots of empty time after being dumped.
The loops are ok as I didn't have the impression you were
trying to be musically dramatic.

The problem is that you're going to get swamped in a tidal
wave of "Oh My Baby Dumped Me" tunes. There are
gazillions of them and they really only have meaning to
whoever wrote them. I'd be most interested to hear what
happens when you turn it around and get ready to find
this guy and cut out his liver or you write a song about
finding someone new and you've just had sex in a hot air
balloon or something. Live! Kick it up some more as it
sounds like your voice has a lot more power than you're
using.
Check out my latest song called It's For You w/Mystery Lady
SCARLETTE1976 said 1823 days ago (November 24th, 2004)
Says It Pretty Well
hahaha.. well, I love your suggestions, however, the multi-talented Juliette
Lewis sings "Hot Ride in my air balloon" on The Prodigy's new album.. so
she's already beat me to it.. but I have NO problem with that. She's the
inspiration, she's the reason I got my ass (back) to work on Garage Band in
the first place. Next time I see her, I am throwing a demo CD her way, so I
better start making some good stuff soon.
Check out my latest song called My Heart
ka-klick said 1824 days ago (November 24th, 2004)
Yay, keep 'em coming
Great exploration - I continue to think you have one of the
most compelling voices on MJ. I'm glad you're starting to
work on some of your own stuff. I agree that it might have
been well served with a few judicious cuts here and there
and I think you could also do some interesting things if
you let yourself push your vocal abilities a bit more, I hear
some tentative steps in that direction here, and it makes
me want to hear more. Now, lets see one where Packo and
Chicko put down a kickin' groove and let you go to town
on VOX.
Check out my latest song called Big Bad World - Live 1-16-2009 plus - MJRF
chikoppi said 1823 days ago (November 24th, 2004)
About time!
Been waiting for you to light another vocal fire ever since Beautiful Machine! The vocals here are great. Nice experimentation with harmonies. Yeah, the song could use some more structure. Broader movements, more defined sections, and chord changes will only add energy to the vocals. Try a shorter song (like I've ever been able to keep one under 5 minutes!) and see what I mean. Still, this is prodigious foreshadowing of things to come!
Check out my latest song called Loop It or Lose It 9
Suzanne said 1823 days ago (November 24th, 2004)
i wish
i wish i could sing so easily. very nice.
Check out my latest song called Rock The Baby With Voodoo (w/Tobin)
DeputyDoofy said 1821 days ago (November 27th, 2004)
Glad to hear...
...you finally released your own tune. I had heard your work on Packo's tune, but collabs aren't always indicative of someone's true performance. You definitely hold your own. I look forward to more...
Check out my latest song called Sweet Smell Of Success
Cameron said 1819 days ago (November 29th, 2004)
most people have already told you...
...that you have a wonderful voice, and I truly AGREE!

It's great!

Really not much to add to everyone's already
excellent constructive comments. I liked the beginning
part of the song. Then the long section leading towards
the middle seemed to be "trying on different musical hats"
for size.

The part just before the middle returned to the first piano
loop you used, then you added a faster piano loop. I liked
this section very much; it tied in nicely with the first.

So if you cut that first long part, then cut the fairly long
section AFTER the middle and went directly to the ending
section, the song's form would be tighter.

Really good stuff in the making here. I'm very impressed
with this first effort and look forward to hearing more!
You will probably learn the most on your own by doing
more songs, and of course, from the very helpful
comments from your fellow MacJammers.

You'll find your way!


Check out my latest song called EPONYM
_nderscore said 1817 days ago (November 30th, 2004)
sonic surprise
wow-you can seriously belt a tune. this is an amazingly
complete first post. do more stuff-fast! you seem to be
able to go a lot of different directions with your voice-
keep experimenting & see where you end up

just to throw out some ideas.. sometimes the song felt too
slow (i realize it supposed to be a slow tune). i can't help
wondering how things would sound sped up just a bit
here & there. think this would tighten things up & throw a
little different dimension to it. also might be interesting to
have a faster song but keep the piano-colored parts nice
& slow as they are. great stuff
Check out my latest song called glyd
TennesseeVic said 1806 days ago (December 12th, 2004)
Good voice. Now about those loops...
Hey Scarlette, you have a great voice. Lots of potential.

My main suggestion is along the lines of what others have
remarked: the song needs to be arranged better. That one
rhythm loop gets old. Try to throw in some rhythmic
variations? The couple of percussion hits under the phrase
"My blade to cut with can't be found" are whimpy in the
extreme. Turn it up! And keep it up for a while!

But you have good material, and loops are easily
replacable.

V.
Check out my latest song called Tecmo Superbowl 2009 w/ Dead End (MJRF 2004)
Pie said 1797 days ago (December 21st, 2004)
Cute
Interesting that the song with the a cute girl featured in the pic has the longest comments ;-) Clocks by Coldplay anybody?
I'm rambling... keep it up!
Check out my latest song called Kaleidoscope (Single)
SCARLETTE1976 said 1783 days ago (January 4th, 2005)
Cute
hahah.. well, thanks! I guess.. heh. I think the reason why I got so many
comments is because everyone's been waiting for me to come out with a song
for a long time.. plus I bugged everyone to comment. =)
Check out my latest song called My Heart
mars said 1775 days ago (January 12th, 2005)
I like your voice
Your voice is cute, sexy and cool.
I like the harmonies too.
Try some different rythm loops and chords to add a spice
to this song.

I'm waiting for your next song : D

Rina(mars)
Check out my latest song called Spin (Live Jan.20)
stevel said 1685 days ago (April 12th, 2005)
Sultry stuff
This works really well...you get drawn in. i like the
drums...its all quite epic
Check out my latest song called Electricity
virtualruffy said 1655 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
I like it
I see its been a long while since you created it. Hope you make some more. You have a great voice that can be sexy or gothic sounding a lot like Lydia Lunch or Switchblade Symphony.
Check out my latest song called no sanctuary
said 1650 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
For a first attempt..
this is very nice.
stratcat51 said 1375 days ago (February 16th, 2006)
Very Good for a first effort
Dance music like this usually isn't my cup of tea, but this is well done. You have a very good voice. You should experiment with other genres of music besides this. You could do Punk, Alternative, I could evan hear you singing show tunes. I wish I had yours and others talents here for using loops. I use drum loops in my songs but haven't yet figured out ho to incorporate other loops. I think loop based music is made for dance. hip hop, house and trance music. You have a talent for this. Keep it up.
Check out my latest song called Hope
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Name: Krista DeWeese
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I'm hoping to fulfill a lifelong dream of being a recording artist; with help from some wonderful people, possibly yourself, and a little bit of my magic added in the mix, we can create some friggin tunes! So, using macjams as a first step towards st... [see more]
Genre Info
Pop music is a music genre that developed from the mid-1950s as a softer alternative to rock 'n' roll and later to rock music. It has a focus on commercial recording, often orientated towards a youth market, usually through the medium of relatively s

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