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Who Got Jazz Infomercial


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Description
"Blue Stain Records presents the greatest Jazz compilation of our generation."

Is it? Well, that's for you to judge. One suggestion -- stick with it because you're sure to find something you'll adore so much you'll want to send me all your money. But hurry, this incredible offer won't last forever and I live very near the border. Now kick back and listen to such fan favorites as Mary Badoux, Muddy Puddles, The Miller Sisters, Gingerbread Sweetly and many more.

Note: No special effects were used in the recording of this marvelous offering. I'm actually genuinely this weird. So weird, in fact, that I even figured out what the heck I said on this thing. Behold, the lyrics:
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Lyrics
Blue Stain Records presents the greatest jazz compilation of our generation, including all your favorites, all the hits, all the songs and all the obscure things only your grandfather ever heard. This compilation includes Mary Badoux singing, "I Know How To Hum."

Mary Badoux:
Hmmmmmm...

Muddy Puddles singing, "You Ain't My Woman No Mo."

Muddy Puddles:
I said you ain't my woman no mo.
No, baby, no.
You ain't my woman no mo.

Gingerbread Sweetly singing, "Mmmm, Does That Taste Good."

Gingerbread Sweetly:
Mmm does that taste good.
Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby.
That tastes mighty good.
You can't tell me that don't taste good cuz it do.
It taste so good. Ahhhh!

Mary Lou Norquist singing, "I Know a Guy Who Treated a Girl Wrong."

Mary Lou Norquist:
I know a guy
Who treated a girl so wrong.
Yes, he did.
And she didn't like it.
But she was a trouper.
Diddley diddley dooper
Super trouper she was.

Hurty Toe Schwartz singing, "Enough Already."

Hurty Toe Schwartz:
Enough already, baby.
I said I've had enough already.
Enough already.
I said enough.

Mamma Jamma Jingjong singing, "There's a Fly in My Coffee."

Mamma Jamma Jingjong:
There's a fly in my coffee, in my coffee, in my coffee
There's a fly in my coffee it keeps swimming around.
There's a fly in my coffee, in my coffee, in my coffee
There's a fly in my coffee it keeps swimming around.
You gotta swim, swim, swim fly, up high
Swim, swim, swim fly, oh fly
There's a fly in my coffee, in my coffee, in my coffee
There's a fly in my coffee it keeps swimming around.
Keeps swimming around, keeps swimming around.
There's a fly in my coffee, in my coffee, in my coffee
There's a fly in my coffee it keeps swimming around.

The Miller Sisters singing, "I Can Spoon in June."

The Miller Sisters:
I can spoon in June with my beau
I can spoon in June with my beau

And finally Willie Fitzwillie and Martha singing, "I Really Can't Stand the Sight of You."

Martha: Hmmm
Willie: I really can't stand
Martha: Really cannot stand
Willie: the sight of you
Martha: the sight of you
Willie: I just can't stand you
Martha: can't stand
Willie: I just can't stand you
Martha: the sight of you
Willie: I just can't stand the very sight of you
Martha: You really suck, you do

That’s right, get all of these hits and more and if you order right now, we will throw in an entire CD of people humming incorrectly to music. You will not believe your ears when you hear these never before heard because they never should be heard songs. That's right, order now, give me all your money and you, too, can have the jazz. You got the jazz? I got the jazz. Who got jazz? We do.

I mean it, send me all your money.


Song Stats
Hits: 4174
Comments: 53
Fans: 15
Plays: 309
Downloads: 124
Votes: 7
Uploaded: Feb 15, 2009 - 05:27:58 AM
Last Updated: Apr 12, 2009 - 04:35:43 PM Last Played: Nov 23, 2017 - 09:57:04 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

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Comments
musichead said 3221 days ago (February 15th, 2009)
good
very nice...Of course I didnt read the intro. So I had to do a double take...good job!
Check out my latest song called slow exit
Joanna said 3219 days ago (February 17th, 2009)
musichead
lol, thank you, musichead -- perhaps I relied too heavily on the intro. I see someone "1 bombed" me in genre. Perhaps they needed more warning!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
caroline said 3221 days ago (February 15th, 2009)
nutter!!!
i mean that in a caring, loving way :) good to hear you again joanna - thank you xoxoxo
Check out my latest song called i'm a reunion maid MJRF 2010
Joanna said 3219 days ago (February 17th, 2009)
Caroline
I always take "nutter" as a compliment from you, Caroline (and no, it's not my first nutter).
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Cameron said 3221 days ago (February 15th, 2009)
wonderful voice!
It's so nice to hear your great voice again -- you've always been one of my favorites. I laughed out loud many times on this track -- you're so versatile.

I hope you make some $$ using it in some way, like voiceovers...you're a natural.


Check out my latest song called Trio for Horn, Violin & Piano
Joanna said 3219 days ago (February 17th, 2009)
Cameron
Thank you for the laughter, Cameron! As for voice-overs, yup, I've been a professional voice actress for longer than I care to admit. The past few years I was semi-retired from it but now I'm back at it.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
VicDiesel said 3221 days ago (February 15th, 2009)
Hilarious
K-Tel does jazz? Or Time-Life, depending on how old you are....

This is a very creative concept, and the individual tracks are both funny and well-executed.

Pity about the spot of distortion. Recording imperfections go with jazz, but digital distortion is just a tad too inauthentic.

I agree with Cameron that you have an amazingly flexible voice. Totally wonderful.
Check out my latest song called Monodrone
Joanna said 3219 days ago (February 17th, 2009)
VicDiesel
Thank you, Vic! The distortion is there because the entire track is an improvisation and therefore I didn't go back and fix things. I was having too much fun just playing around to worry about the tech side of things. I am an avowed Imperfectionist.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
futzpucker said 3220 days ago (February 16th, 2009)
Very talented...
You are a marvelously twisted individual, Joanne.

This is just great.
Check out my latest song called Just As It Is
Joanna said 3219 days ago (February 17th, 2009)
futzpucker
Thank you, Futz! I take that as high praise.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
futzpucker said 3219 days ago (February 17th, 2009)
Yes
Just as intended...
Check out my latest song called Just As It Is
Skean said 3220 days ago (February 16th, 2009)
Awesome post
A tune I really needed right now.. Thanks you made my day.
I have a big smille on my face now.
Big kiss to ya
---
Kenta
Check out my latest song called Deep through the forest / W-particledots
Joanna said 3219 days ago (February 17th, 2009)
Skean
I hope things get better for you, Kenta. In the meantime, I thank you sincerely for your kind comment.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
awigze said 3220 days ago (February 16th, 2009)
Joanna
I know how to hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm....mmmmmm
I love it... but in a cheap kind of way, he said with admiration.
Check out my latest song called To Claire II by THSANTAC
Joanna said 3219 days ago (February 17th, 2009)
awigze
Thank you, awigze! I'll take cheap. Woo hoo!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Moviz said 3219 days ago (February 16th, 2009)
With a voice
so warm and rich, you can muddy my puddle whenever you want.... great fun Joanna..... gotta smile at all those alter-egos. You sound as zany as me LOL, cheers M
Check out my latest song called Angels
Joanna said 3219 days ago (February 17th, 2009)
Moviz
Thank you, Moviz! Zaniness is a great way to be, as far as I'm concerned. Life is more fun that way.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
said 3219 days ago (February 17th, 2009)
good medicine

for my day, thank you!

. - Harold
Joanna said 3219 days ago (February 17th, 2009)
Rocha Malhada
Aw, thank you so much, Harold!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Rebsie said 3218 days ago (February 18th, 2009)
It does taste good cos it do
Hilarious! Thank you for being nuts. I wouldn't want it any other way.

You are a character-actress comedy genius Joanna. Don't ever change.
Check out my latest song called Amongst The Colours (w/ Luna Trick)
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
Rebsie!
It's a little known fact that Gingerbread Sweetly only sang about things that tasted good. Her one departure, "That Smells Good" lingered near the bottom of the charts, proving that her fan base was solidly in the tasteophiles.

(Thank you, Rebsie!)
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
magnatone said 3218 days ago (February 18th, 2009)
Jazz
OMG - i can't stop laughing! And then - your voice is REALLY amazing! Could you be more creative??
Check out my latest song called Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen) and Variations
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
Magnatone
Thank you, Karen! Hurty Toe Schwartz would probably tell you he's had enough already of me, but he's been in a foul mood ever since that stubbing incident back in the 30s.

Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
drakonis said 3217 days ago (February 19th, 2009)
Big ol' rolling ROFL!
Excellent silliness, boy do I need that! Your different voices and singing styles are hilariously great. I think you could make a living doing this... oh that's right, you do! I absolutely adore your goofy sense of humor. I'll have to play this for wife & daughter too... ahhh, thanks for the smile from head to toe! For some reason, I am emptying my wallet into an envelope... where do I send it?
ttfn,
Drakonis
Check out my latest song called Miwok
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
Drakonis
I do love the sight of an emptying wallet, as long as it isn't mine. Thank you, Drak, and I hope your wife and daughter like it enough not to be upset about that suddenly light wallet. I'll be using that money for drugs and saxophone lessons, just like always.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
thoddi said 3216 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
hilarious
I'm ordering, give me the details on how to transfer the money. You have a great talent for this. Enjoyed every second!
Check out my latest song called The King has left
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
thoddi
Incoming kroner appreciated, Thor! Thank you so much for giving it a listen. I enjoyed your enjoyment.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
bud said 3216 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
Had a good laugh
with my morning cup of tea. Thanks.
Check out my latest song called Oh Coast
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
bud
Thank you kindly, bud!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
lengold said 3216 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
Send me all your money
If you check out only one song all year, make it this one:
Absolutely.
Cheers
Len


Check out my latest song called Decent Girl
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
lengold
Thank you, Len! Shameless plugging works mwa ha ha ha ha!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
gail60 said 3216 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
terrific
This is just too much. What a great way to start my morning! I can't stop giggling and it is all your fault. These are all sure fire hits and I know that your tour will take you places only we could imagine. :) It is true, I cannot believe my ears!! Super job and thanks so much!!
Check out my latest song called Ed - Forever in our hearts
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
gail60
Thank you gail! lol on the places only you can imagine. I appreciate your dropping by!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
fambroski said 3216 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
Alright...
Very funny. Great voice. This made my morning. You can't fool me you're a jazz singer. : )
Check out my latest song called Hello Pain
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
fambroski
Thank you, fambroski! And yeah, you caught me. I'm a jazz singer. And if you believe this infomercial, I'm several jazz singers.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
sschedra said 3216 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
Oh Jo!
I have this compulsion to order the CD, but . . . This is a blast! Some of the best parody I ever heard. ... and who disguised as several silly jazz performers, fights a never ending battle for comedy, fidelity and taste (mmm it does taste so good). You have the most wonderful voice! I wrote a slow jazz ballad once and could never find the right woman to sing it. Nobody else could own it but you. You are "the voice" (not that silly guy on TV). You could do anything from voice over to live performance. What a gift! I laughed my way all the way through (and I think I dated one of the Miller Sisters in high school, Sillie Miller . . . or was it her sister Mickey).
Great job and thoroughly entertaining,
Stephen
Check out my latest song called Cheap Tricks (LSP2)
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
sschedra
Thank you so much, Stephen! It sounds like there might be a collaboration in the air, if you still have that ballad. And although I've never sung professionally, I have spent many years as a professional voice actress, so you caught me on that one! I'm so happy you enjoyed it. Thanks again for such high praise.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Doadars Uncle said 3216 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
Hee hee!
Oh yes! Is that all! This is sooo good for a Friday!
Check out my latest song called Don't Leave (remix)
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
Doadars Uncle
Thanks, Doadar! I'm so glad you had a good time!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Bubowski said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
But that's not all
If you order within the next 10 minutes will give you a second copy absolutely FREE! But wait, we'll also throw in the historical recordings of amateur beatboxers doin' MC Hammers greatest hits. Don't wait, call now.
Check out my latest song called Drumbeats off Jupiter
Doadars Uncle said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
And....
This set of chef quality knives....
Check out my latest song called Don't Leave (remix)
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
Bubowski
I already promised an entire CD of people humming incorrectly to music -- you drive a hard bargain. Okay, I'll throw in a second copy, but no beatboxers. This is jazz, my friend, only jazz. But just for you, I'll include a pair of white gloves so you can do jazz hands as you listen.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
Doadars Uncle
You're right, I forgot to include the ginsus. I'll also throw in a shamwow because it sounds kinda jazzy.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Bubowski said 3212 days ago (February 24th, 2009)
Sham
WOW!
Check out my latest song called Drumbeats off Jupiter
Alannah said 3215 days ago (February 20th, 2009)
Luv it .....
.. and you don't think some of my weirdness might have rubbed off on you ! hahahahahaha this rawks ... this gives Beer Friday a whole new meaning for me ! Cause I am just so jealous I didn't think of it first ! It is so up my alley ! I want this album ! Have you met with the K-Tel people yet? (p.s. have you "found" beer?) .....

Check out my latest song called Sleep (w JScott and Alannah)
Joanna said 3215 days ago (February 21st, 2009)
Alannah
Thank you! I've always been this weird, so no worries on it being a contagion. I'm not familiar with beer Fridays, probably because I'm allergic to alcohol (I stop breathing) and therefore can't drink. Yes, I just admitted I'm actually this weird with no alcohol involved. Yowch!
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Grathy said 3202 days ago (March 5th, 2009)
You're amazing....
I think this is such a riot Joanna...You are too talented for the page....What a treat...
Check out my latest song called Why Can't They Be You?
Joanna said 3202 days ago (March 6th, 2009)
Grathy
Thanks, Mary! And what a pleasant surprise to see you on Macjams. You may have been here forever, but I didn't realize. Always great to hear from you and I really appreciate your kind comment.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
davidsmith99 said 1569 days ago (August 25th, 2013)
very creative
and shows off a quircky versatility. Excellent.
Check out my latest song called Blue Jeans, Blouse and Army Boots [guitar trio]
Joanna said 1568 days ago (August 26th, 2013)
davidsmith99
Thank you, David -- I love getting goofy and having people support the silliness.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
Joanna said 612 days ago (April 8th, 2016)
Send me all your money
Just a quick reminder to send me all your money.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
mfwmiles said 612 days ago (April 8th, 2016)
Hilariously weird!!!
oh, i LOVE this! what fun...these things are funny because each of them could actually be a song...perfect satire...plus you pull off each style off very well!!!

I'll Buy one!!!
Check out my latest song called The Miracle of Space and Time (ennead #8)
Joanna said 612 days ago (April 8th, 2016)
mfwmiles
Thank you so much! I always love it when my weirdness is considered good, not evil -- what a nice person you are. As soon this project isn't finished I'll be sure to not send them out.
Check out my latest song called Side By Side with Dadai.2
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Hi, I'm Joanna (not Jo, that's someone else). Garageband has allowed me to indulge my love for singing beyond concerts in the shower. My favorite part of songwriting is writing the lyrics. This makes sense, of course, because writing is what I d... [see more]

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