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She's [Explicit] by cjorgensen [Email]

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SONG STATS:
Hits: 1447
Comments: 4
Votes: 6
Plays: 70
Last Played: Sep 01, 2007 - 04:10:06 AM
Downloads: 53
Fans: 0
Uploaded: Nov 26, 2004 - 07:49:53 PM
Last Updated: Dec 27, 2004 - 09:41:46 PM



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Description:
I wrote this poem about a coffee shop waitress I asked out. Twice. She told me no.

Lyrics:
She’s cinnamon on the tongue,
and deep lung air,
the space between heartbeats,
and dreamless seconds. She’s
gravity and bent light, years of inescapable
regret. She’s a bruised tattoo and a muffled note
sounding sad negation, baby skin, and
straight flush vertigo; queen high,
aphasia, and too much wine.
The beginning’s whispered word and
insomnia. She’s finish line sweat
and denied kisses, dew wet roses and ropes
bathed in starlight. She’s candle wax and
burnt offerings, a razor wrist, the atom split,
lightning dance and a tear of joy. She’s a child
tickled too long and quivering lip.
She’s dragon chasing
smoke raised in prayer, a C4 bunny,
three to a match and a bullet;
to whom it may concern, sucking
chest wound heartbreak. She’s
crime in a $4 T-shirt and yesterday’s
shorts. She’s her smile and walk,
cricket comfort and lumbering grace,
electrochemical shock therapy. She’s
the fast right hand captured in unnatural acts.
She’s unclean thoughts, and unrepentance,
salvation offered only in darkness. She’s
the better half of a timeless equation, π
factored past infinity, an easy answer
to an impossible problem. She’s unknown
and unknowable, an unopened gift
gathering dust,
another man’s name on the tag.


Hardware:
800 MhZ emac and a USB telex mic.

Software:

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emotive &mdash 11/27/04 - 01:38:17 PM
i saw the picture in the mystery picks, was curious and
checked it out. i read the lyrics first - impressive! i like
them a lot. i didn't expect it to be read but it's a poem,
like you said, duh.. i should have known. it reminds me of
gudkarma.. you share a similar, fine detail of speech and
syllable. i'm not too fond of the haunting moans and other
female vocals in the background, but they create an
escalating feeling of tension and obsession. now i feel all
poetic. hmm.

thank you for inspiring me to not only listen but also
comment for the first time in a few months. (been too
busy.) i'll have to check out the rest of your stuff soon.

[ Reply to This ]
Pathetic pathos &mdash 12/06/04 - 08:35:34 AM
I feel for ya, man. Your abject condition caused by the
unattainable object of desire, the lady behing the
impenetrable glass enclosure. Or, in your own words,
"sucking chest wound heartbreak" -- ouch! Thanks for
sharing. I hope she listens to this.

[ Reply to This ]
great words &mdash 12/09/04 - 04:43:21 PM
get's the point across perfectly-some excellent lines in
there

about that moaning.. great effect, but i think it would have
a greater presence if it appeared in one or two places,
rather than run the course of the entire piece. it seems
cheapened somehow just plastered as a backdrop

[ Reply to This ]
great words &mdash 12/10/04 - 10:55:47 AM
I'm working on a version that has a heartbeat in the background, with the
moaning vocals dropped way way down. I also read the poem with a bit more
longing. Once I figure it all out I'll throw it up.

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