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Description
Another in my series dedicated to audioizing the poetry of Tobin James Mueller. From his award-winning collection "Falling Past Love." Tobin makes an appearance playing a duet with himself on Indian Flute. I use it like a herald announcing the opening of heaven, symbolizing the birth of love. But it is unrequited love, or at least love without reciprocal commitment, and a sense of disorientation soon envelopes me. But sometimes faith is all you have to grab on to, a sense of possibility and the courage to walk into the hell of loving. To find what we need. (Text by TJM, slightly edited by me. Artwork: The Birth of Adam and Eve.)
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Lyrics
there are no hand holds on the wall of heaven
nothing to grasp, nothing but my own descent
and i ask
the gossamer cord, anchored like a tendon
to the muscles of my reaching, as it
slides through these hands before they know to close
and i realize, suddenly, how motionless i am beneath the sky
i ask if
standing still drenched in communal sweat
and the sweet smell of your saliva,
my mouth smiling your smile, remembering
the feel of it beneath me
this union, i ask if you know it too
and the chill of wind cuts through my clothing
waiting for a reply, waiting, as
density replaces being
in each repeated silence
from the spasms of no reply
i’m pushed, like a newborn,
into a world i cannot envision
past the dream of it
and i ask
beneath the single light of the lamp
dull and humming in the pre-morn
grey as pavement and twice as lifeless
i ask myself instead to fly
beyond answers
here, with nothing to grasp,
with no map to lead me back within the wall of you
© 2004 Tobin james Mueller
TobinMueller
Wow. Would not have expected this interpretation. The
music is like a second voice, sometimes competing, just
as separate emotions do inside. Again, you've breathed
new life into it with your own personal insights. Goose
bumps. Excellent mix.