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Description
This is the first song I really ever completed. It has evolved quite a bit since I wrote it this summer.
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Lyrics
there is an old lady asleep on a bench
with a newspaper by her side
and old man behind her with his hands to his face
with a look he is trying to hide
and then there is me at a quarter to three
in the morning, i dont wanna die
the tides rolling in on the back of the wind
and gravity is not on my side
chorus
there is an old lady asleep on a bench
with a newspaper by her side
she crashed into me ten minutes before
in the left turning lane at the light
i thought about growing old and grey
maybe someday losing my mind
but a song on the radio made me feel young
as the signal turned from red to a green light
chorus
there is an old lady in a funeral home
later buried as the day turned to night
And a bench at a park where a newspaper
started to take the evening breeze for a ride
but the old man remains and he mutters her name
and he argues quietly with the sky
he picks up the paper, lies down on the bench
ten minutes later closes his eyes
chorus
Outro
oh my god there is no god here
no one told the old lady now
with a newspaper by her side
and old man behind her with his hands to his face
with a look he is trying to hide
and then there is me at a quarter to three
in the morning, i dont wanna die
the tides rolling in on the back of the wind
and gravity is not on my side
chorus
there is an old lady asleep on a bench
with a newspaper by her side
she crashed into me ten minutes before
in the left turning lane at the light
i thought about growing old and grey
maybe someday losing my mind
but a song on the radio made me feel young
as the signal turned from red to a green light
chorus
there is an old lady in a funeral home
later buried as the day turned to night
And a bench at a park where a newspaper
started to take the evening breeze for a ride
but the old man remains and he mutters her name
and he argues quietly with the sky
he picks up the paper, lies down on the bench
ten minutes later closes his eyes
chorus
Outro
oh my god there is no god here
no one told the old lady now
ChrisSly
. . . it's not too bad. it's three songs, really. The intro, the
outro, and the meat of the piece. I liked the ending, but
it's too dissimilar from the rest of the song. Same with the
intro. An "intro" should do just that, introduce us to the
piece in some way. It doesn't have to be the chorus or part
of the verse, but it should prepare the way. Also, the
guitar is so out of tune that it really was distracting.
But, keep writing, keep experimenting, keep hitting the
record button.