No artwork
Get Flash to see this player.
Description
hey everyone, i am new here, this is my first song. any kind of feedback you have would be helpful.
Leave a Comment
You must be registered and logged-in to comment.
Lyrics
i'm haunted and i'm wanted by the ghost of sir thomas paine
we're all sitting stranded though we're branded as our hours of fame
the night is making noises, distant choices while i'm trying to sleep
the thunder shakes the windows makes the pillows on the bed seem cheap
we'll wake up and put on our disguise
we'll throw away our dreams and live in our lies
oh these american nights
the actor in his makeup starts to wakeup to a painted sky
the rain begins to fall as he crawls and we wonder why
i learned how to love from the hours watching mtv
it's always less amusing more confusing than the eye can see
we'll wake up and put on our disguise
we'll throw away our dreams and live in our lies
oh these american nights
i hear the women chatter bottles shatter my window view
they talk of wearing jewelry seeking beauty that they long outgrew
the clouds begin to shift their voices lift in the moon's white shine
all these visions of decisions have conquered my tired mind
we're all sitting stranded though we're branded as our hours of fame
the night is making noises, distant choices while i'm trying to sleep
the thunder shakes the windows makes the pillows on the bed seem cheap
we'll wake up and put on our disguise
we'll throw away our dreams and live in our lies
oh these american nights
the actor in his makeup starts to wakeup to a painted sky
the rain begins to fall as he crawls and we wonder why
i learned how to love from the hours watching mtv
it's always less amusing more confusing than the eye can see
we'll wake up and put on our disguise
we'll throw away our dreams and live in our lies
oh these american nights
i hear the women chatter bottles shatter my window view
they talk of wearing jewelry seeking beauty that they long outgrew
the clouds begin to shift their voices lift in the moon's white shine
all these visions of decisions have conquered my tired mind
Reggie_Pole
and clever lyrics. The boldest choice was the whining, slightly discordant guitar in the background. That provides a stamp of uniqueness. Couple of suggestions: harmony vocal on the chorus, and a bit more dynamical variation. The step-up at 2:03 is a nice touch, just what's needed. Suggest keeping the dynamics high after that, instead of retreating back to the feel of the first two verses. One thing you might consider is beefing up the bass line from that point to give some more drive, and provide an evolution. The song could go out high, and I think that might give it a good effect. Might like a bit more separation in the mix, move the acoustic off-center to leave more room for the vocals. The volume mix is fine, but the spatial mix is a bit crowded. Anyway, nice work. Hope to hear more in the near future.