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What Do I Feel


by

JonMShaw

 Genre: Acoustic Rock
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Description
Not sure what to do with this one, haven't spent that much time on it simply because it's not one of my favourites. It sounded a lot better in my head than it did when it eventually came out, but I've been getting some positive feedback from friends and family on it recently so I thought I'd throw it on the table and see what my peers at MJ think. I'm not so much bothered about the quality of the recording or the vocals at the moment 'cos all that will be revisited, I think I have an issue with the monotonous beat and bassline, I think it needs more dynamics squeezing to it, or maybe the chorus' 'bigging up'?

Your thoughts please ladies and gentlemen of the panel.
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Lyrics
What do I feel?

I'm ticking off one more lonely night
opening windows and letting in light
Funny how some days seem to start behind the eyes.
I'm letting in light and banishing doubt
I wanna go one more day without it killing my hope
the more I choke to stem the cries (of)

What do I want, how do I choose
Where do I go now and what do I do?
Who do I turn to, How do I heal?
What do I feel?

Maybe I'm wrong to speak my mind
Maybe I'm thoughtless, maybe I'm blind
but would I be half the man I am had I succumbed
to living my life by others ideals,
levelling all the rocks I stand on.
I don't want no more rolling eyes to hold me down.

Maybe my hands are tied too tight, maybe my soul ain't seen the light.
If I had everything I've lost within my reach...

What would I want, how would I choose?
Where would I go now and what would I do?
Who would I turn to, how would I heal?
What do I feel?
Song Stats
Hits: 479
Comments: 22
Fans: 10
Plays: 45
Downloads: 35
Votes: 4
Uploaded: Jul 28, 2009 - 09:08:35 AM
Last Updated: Jul 28, 2009 - 09:08:35 AM Last Played: Mar 07, 2010 - 09:20:40 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

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Comments
munsongeek said 237 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
Another nice tune
Nice and smooth feel-good song. This style never grows old.
Check out my latest song called Alright Okay
JonMShaw said 237 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
Thanks
Glad you like the song, thanks for the comments!
Check out my latest song called A Thousand Miles Away
Feter said 237 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
What Do I Feel
This song lean to be a folk rock ...I found it
all completed so far ...you added strings at 1:20
I would added pan whistle and a fiddle ..call
for friends to participate ...outstanding vocal
really ...a solid arrangement ..a true talent
thnx alot for sharin !!!!
JonMShaw said 237 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
Folk?
Wow, I never imagined it as a folk rock track. I like the idea of the fiddle though (not sure what a pan whistle sounds like!). I'll definitely look into it. Cheers Feter.
Check out my latest song called A Thousand Miles Away
MarkHolbrook said 237 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
Well
Jon you have such a knack for making your tunes sound so perfectly put together... You post that you don't know what to do with this one... yet to me it is darned close to perfect... A great feel, smooth, yet it moves along nicely. Lovin this stuff Jon! Keep it comin!
Check out my latest song called Never Say Goodbye - Bond Challenge
JonMShaw said 237 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
I wouldn't say perfect.
Thanks Mark, I was worried about the monotonous thump of the bass drum and simplistic bass line, it kinda got on my nerves after a while. The whole song seems to plod along until the chingly (is that a word?!) guitars come in at the end. I really need to sort the sound of those out. But if the feedback is anything to go off, maybe I should keep the format and just spend a bit of time on the mix then. Thanks for the feedback mate.

Jon.
Check out my latest song called A Thousand Miles Away
ThroughRivers said 237 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
what do i feel
hey this track is awesome, sounds good in my ears,i think your friends are right!! i wouldnt change a thing, great melody great lyrics excellent voice, nice one pal!!!!
Check out my latest song called New Dimension
JonMShaw said 237 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
Cheers Khanusx
Thanks very much for the feedback lads, looks like I won't be changing much on it at all then.

Jon.
Check out my latest song called A Thousand Miles Away
I.G.M. said 237 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
nice tune
welcome aboard Jon,
very well balanced song. well played, too!
I would have changed the tonal mistiness when it comes to the E major chord including a G#.
these two bass notes are fighting each other in my ear, but that`s just my opinion.
another thing is that verse and chorus are very similar and so there`s no intensive dramatic change within the tune.
the interlude is a very welcome passage :o) cause it`s a slight break in the overall constant feel.
don`t get me wrong, I like it a lot, but you asked for feedback and here it is!!

welcome again!
Check out my latest song called I.G.Mber (by Drakonis)
JonMShaw said 237 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
Hi I.G.M.
Yeah, I think that's what I was aiming at when I mentioned it may need more dynamics squeezing into it. The verse and the chorus ARE similar and that's why I think it appears to 'plod' along. Not sure where the E major with the G# is though. There's an Em in the mid 8th but there aren't any G's near it (I think). I play a D in the verse and chorus with an F# bass if that's what you mean? I'll have another listen through and see if I can pinpoint where you mean.

Many thanks for the feedback I.G.M. It's very much appreciated.

Jon.
Check out my latest song called A Thousand Miles Away
I.G.M. said 237 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
hmmm,
it`s the second chord. bass tone is an E, and the chord is an E too, but with a Gis in the bass. or am I finally crazy???
that`s not impossible... here`s a lot techno music... :o)
Check out my latest song called I.G.Mber (by Drakonis)
JonMShaw said 236 days ago (July 29th, 2009)
Apologies
No you're not going crazy, you're right. It occurred to me last night that I actually used a capo on the second fret when I recorded it to make it sound a bit brighter. That would indeed make you totally correct with the chords. I know exactly where you mean now!... but I kinda like the argument between the two notes. Not many people notice that one! :o)
Check out my latest song called A Thousand Miles Away
kassia said 236 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
what do i feel?
Wow Jon this is a beautiful, beautiful song. Wonderful songwriting, poignant lyrics, great vocals and I absolutely love the harmonies and chord progressions. I think the chorus is just so gorgeous, I can hear some high soaring harmonies - either like a female vocalist or a flute. This has a wonderful simplicity right now that is lovely, but I could also hear it getting BIG. what a wonderful song. I'm in love with your music!
Check out my latest song called Beach Walk
JonMShaw said 236 days ago (July 29th, 2009)
Hi Kassia
Thanks for the wonderful comments, I must admit I've never really used the likes of flutes etc. in my songs but maybe it's time to shirk old habits and broaden my mind. Thanks for the advice.
Check out my latest song called A Thousand Miles Away
gail60 said 236 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
What do I feel?
I can tell you that I seriously enjoy your music and I feel like listening to more of it! Once again, another wonderful song with great lyrics, melody and singing. No dynamics needed to me, but I like it simple sometimes and this is one of those times.
Check out my latest song called Sweet September
JonMShaw said 236 days ago (July 29th, 2009)
Hi Gail,
I too like it simple (if only life was! ;o), but it's sometimes difficult for me to take a step back and say "stop, I've done enough on this!" I think I may change a sound or two but otherwise keep it as is. Thanks for your comments.
Check out my latest song called A Thousand Miles Away
crissew said 236 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
I think I know what you are talking about
First off, I really like the song. It sounds like there isn't enough distinction between the verse and chorus. Maybe try changing the guitar tone, adding a different drum beat with a different syncopation. A guitar riff complementing the chorus also may help to make the chorus separate from the verse more. I dont know if any of that helps but I think doing some of that may help.
Check out my latest song called Tell Me What To Do
JonMShaw said 236 days ago (July 29th, 2009)
Distinction
Yeah, that's the issue I have with it really, I may try an 'acoustic only' beginning an start bringing other elements in slowly but surely.. and like Kassia mentioned, have it bigger towards the end. Who knows?
Check out my latest song called A Thousand Miles Away
borisluxx said 236 days ago (July 28th, 2009)
Great tune!
You've done a great job on this! Very impressive and very pro!

-Boris Luxx
Check out my latest song called Every Time You're Near
JonMShaw said 236 days ago (July 29th, 2009)
Thanks Boris
Your comments are very much appreciated.

Jon.
Check out my latest song called A Thousand Miles Away
lavalamp said 236 days ago (July 29th, 2009)
terrific
Your voice sounds very, very nice on this track. I really dig your song writing skills. Fluid and smooth. Glad I got to hear this.

Dave
Check out my latest song called Time For Bed (w/ Vic Holman)
ConnieO said 163 days ago (October 9th, 2009)
Don't change a thing-marvelous
What do I feel? Don't change a thing on this song! Love the emotion in your voice...each phrase and question...you are right there in the moment, not just reciting lyrics.
Check out my latest song called The Casino-Johnny Blues & ConnieO jam
Artist Info
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Name: Jon Shaw
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Amateur singer/songwriter from North West England with a love of all things musical. I started playing the acoustic on my 12th birthday and never stopped (not appearing to get any better however!) I've been through the mill with many bands over the y... [see more]

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