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Me Motorbike and Me Sidecar (the B****y thing won't go)

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Description
A True Tale of Woe,previously posted but removed taken outside and had the s**t kicked out of it, slightly rewritten and given a proper ending,then rerecorded,live ( and special thanks to the b******s at Barclay's Bank who telephoned with an "impoprtant" message) hopefully with in tune instruments and a gritty determination to get it better than it was originally thrown up on here .This version is hopefully a little more polished........although the Mandolin player ,Count Fingers got a bit manic in places....the Tin Whistle player is currently recovering from the removal operation and as for the Bodran player...well,least said really.........So I re-present Me Motorbike and me Sidecar etc with Jarvoid and The Dysfunctionals,featuring Count Fingers.
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Lyrics
Me motorbike and me sidecar bloody well won't go
I dont know quite what makes it stop
it's come as quite a blow

I've looked inside to find the trick that makes it tick but it doesn't want to show
Me motorbike and me sidecar bloody well won't go


Me motorbike and me sidecar bloody well won't go
In temper I've run around
I've kicked the ground
And that's broke me toe
I phoned the shop I got it from and give him my tale of woe
Me motorbike and me sidecar bloody well won't go


The man in the shop ,his name is Mick,said he didn't know
Why me motorbike and sidecar bloody well won't go
He said thrab its grifter
If that don't shift her
Clean its carburaterors
Advance its retard Strangle its choke
that should make it better
Then your motorbike and your sidecar bloody well should go

Me motorbike and me sidecar bloody well won't go
But that was in summer
when weather was better
But now winters here wi' cold and rain
and I'm finding it harder to complain
That me motorbike and me sidecar bloody well won't go

Me motorbike and me sidecar bloody well did'nt go
I guess there's no pleasing
but now that its freezing
and riding is no fun
I 've tightened the nut
I found I'd left undone
And now it just wants to run and run
So I've no excuse cos me motorbike and me sidecar bloody well does go ! !

Song Stats
Hits: 3213
Comments: 46
Fans: 22
Plays: 244
Downloads: 109
Votes: 1
Uploaded: Apr 01, 2010 - 11:09:21 AM
Last Updated: Apr 01, 2010 - 11:18:43 AM Last Played: Apr 04, 2016 - 09:15:53 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
Guitar Takeharu,Ozark Mandolin,PSR K1 pretending to be a Tin Whistle....oh and a Bodran...drummy thing....
Software:
Cubase
Comments
drakonis said 2555 days ago (April 1st, 2010)
You tight nut!
This is a wonderful way to take a frustrating situation and spread the frustration around to all the listeners instead! I think we all can relate and commiserate with you, our comrade (isn't it a Russian motorbikeski anyway?) for we all have similar tales of woe... and what's with the bank calling right when you're trying to record, anyway? Sheesh! You should call Barclays back and just play this song into the phone!

Anyway, really enjoyed your singing and playing, Chris... the recording was a little soft, but great fun.

Now, hopefully your motorbike and sidecar go at the SAME time!

ttfn,
Drakonis
Check out my latest song called Miwok
Jarvoid said 2555 days ago (April 1st, 2010)
Thanks Drak
um what does 'soft recording' mean,is it low levels ? I have a really hard time getting the production side anywhere near right so I appreciate advice and +ve crit.

The little tinker runs alright still...so just waiting for the other shoe....glad you had fun listening.
drakonis said 2555 days ago (April 1st, 2010)
when the other shoe drops...
the motorbike starts!

Yes, I should have said "low overall volume of the recording"... I did not wish to imply that you were just a softy, though there's nothing wrong with us softies anyway, but as usual, you cause me to digress! So, boost the volume until the tachometer goes into the red! :-) Good stuff.
Check out my latest song called Miwok
crissew said 2555 days ago (April 1st, 2010)
Bloody 'ell
A little bit of "Robin Hood and Little John" meets Irish music action here. I like the flute lines in here. It really adds a lot to the vibe of the song. I would maybe turn the reverb down on the vocal just a tad, sounds a bit distant to my ear. Very good song here, congrats!
Check out my latest song called Dollar Store Christmas w/ Jerry Rissew
Jarvoid said 2555 days ago (April 1st, 2010)
Thanks for the
listen...so too much reverb,got ya ...I will get this down eventually..hope it tickled your chuckle button ,tho' tis a sad and wearisome tale !

Jarvo
daddyg said 2555 days ago (April 1st, 2010)
"Thrab it's grifter"
Is that what makes the lyric "explicit"? ;-)
Check out my latest song called Hey, Sunflower
Jarvoid said 2555 days ago (April 1st, 2010)
I believe
that to "thrab it's grifter" is an arcane and mysterious term used by mechanics when describing fixing something that they have no idea of what they did but it worked....."Oh aye lad I thrabbed its grifter and put skewdle out on the crotchetpedometer" It's bullshit ,but we're impressed :-)
sheilad said 2555 days ago (April 1st, 2010)
oh dear
I was feeling your pain and about to send you a card to brighten your day then I got to the end and Jarvo saved the day!!! Yay for the nut...no wonder I always enjoy the musical adventures of Jarvo
Check out my latest song called Nana Lives
Jarvoid said 2555 days ago (April 1st, 2010)
Oh aye
...but how much pain could have been saved had I found itsooner...although I suppose there would not have been a song to play.........Hmmmm Thanks for the listen.
Hickling_Stan said 2555 days ago (April 1st, 2010)
Northern Life
Tony Capstick meets Fred Dibnah meets John Cooper Clarke meets Mike Harding!!! Bloody wonderful. Bloody days are bloody long, bloody clocks are bloody wrong. bloody girls and bloody guys with bloody murder in thier eyes...and so it went on. Chris i reckon we could have a right laugh on a collab some time. Cheers mark
Check out my latest song called Contagious Benediction
Jarvoid said 2554 days ago (April 1st, 2010)
Acollab...
I would be honoured mate.....glad you like.

Chris
magnatone said 2554 days ago (April 1st, 2010)
Motorbike
i remember this! and yes, sounding more polished - i loved it the first time around - this is great! Yeah Count Fingers! Yeah Jarvoid!!
Check out my latest song called Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen) and Variations
Jarvoid said 2554 days ago (April 2nd, 2010)
Yes, the original
was a little ropey and did not have a happy ending.....glad it is sounding more polished,thanks for dropping in.

Jarvo
michaeljayklein said 2554 days ago (April 2nd, 2010)
You
are the 21st Century's version of George Formby here...nice work!
Check out my latest song called There Ain't Nobody Here but Us Chickens!
Jarvoid said 2554 days ago (April 2nd, 2010)
Wha' our George...
'ey up I'll take that as a reet compliment (even though he was a Lancashire Lad). I'll have to brush up the opld Uke now...cheers michael thats med me dee........Jarvo
scofugate said 2554 days ago (April 2nd, 2010)
Nice!!
This is the real world!! Reminds me of a little Whiskey in the Jar (The Dubliners version).
Cool story tune!

Check out my latest song called Engine 71
Jarvoid said 2554 days ago (April 2nd, 2010)
I tell you
that bloody outfit has caused more Whiskey to enter this Jar, I kid you not...thanks for having a listen. Hope you had a chuckle,Cheers Jarvo.
fasteddie said 2553 days ago (April 2nd, 2010)
this song
cranks me up. Funny and cool. Great song Chris! I'm glad you teamed up with the Dysfunctionals!
Check out my latest song called On Borrowed Time
Jarvoid said 2553 days ago (April 3rd, 2010)
Yes a
song that was wrung out of great trial and tribulation much stress and vein popping wrench threatening temper tantrums.....


Jarvoid
VicDiesel said 2553 days ago (April 3rd, 2010)
I hate dealing with mechanics
and mechanical matters. That why I drive Japanese. But I suppose British motorbikes have a character that their brothers from the rising sun just can't touch.

Entertaining song. Enjoyed.
Check out my latest song called Raggedy Ann's Ragtime (original version)
Jarvoid said 2553 days ago (April 3rd, 2010)
I am
with you on the Japanese reliability thing,my main bikes have always been rising sun born and bred....this thing is actually Russian,which gives it infinie character and nil reliability....but huge fun when it goes.

Thanks for the listen.
ted23 said 2553 days ago (April 3rd, 2010)
2nd
Listen. Classic pubstyle gigging tune. Love your accent in the vocal and clever lyrics. Instruments are fun and give the song a classic folky feel. Pint of real ale anyone?
Jarvoid said 2553 days ago (April 3rd, 2010)
Thanks ,but
steady on two listens ...that's almost a dangerous overdose level of jarvoidness...you could become daft.

Nice comments I'll take pubstyle gigging tune any day.Cheers .

Jarvoid
PockBluesman said 2552 days ago (April 3rd, 2010)
I bet
You forgot to fettle the throttle or bamboozle the claxon manifold with elbow grease. That' ll do it everytime. Nice and upbeat done the only way you can 'Jarvoid style. and we wouldn't have it any other way.
Nice one Buddy
Check out my latest song called 20 Year Blues
Jarvoid said 2552 days ago (April 4th, 2010)
'Tis a sorry
tale and all too true......Cheers matey.
woofer3 said 2552 days ago (April 4th, 2010)
Entertainment
is an important part of music, I really enjoyed this great little story song. Superb performance by the Disfunctionals as well. Thank you.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
Jarvoid said 2552 days ago (April 4th, 2010)
It's strange
what entertainment can be winkled out of adversity isn't it ?

Cheers and thanks for a listen.Jarvo
ramonaji said 2552 days ago (April 4th, 2010)
charming!
Oh I love it!
Check out my latest song called Say Bye Bye
Jarvoid said 2551 days ago (April 5th, 2010)
Thanks very much
I hope it gave you a grin...Jarvo
Moviz said 2551 days ago (April 5th, 2010)
laughed my
socks off to this tale of woe... love your humour Chris.... Put's me (instrumentally) in mind of some (much ruder) folk songs I have on tape. Great monologue and the sound is perfect for this, Ha Ha! Count Fingers indeed! LOLOL Love it, cheers M
Check out my latest song called Angels
Jarvoid said 2551 days ago (April 5th, 2010)
The Count is
in da house....and he says thanks for your listen and mirth,Cheers CJ
Gaylen75 said 2551 days ago (April 5th, 2010)
love it
This is fantastic!
Check out my latest song called Dont Go Now
Jarvoid said 2551 days ago (April 5th, 2010)
Glad you dropped in.
Glad that you enjoyed.......Cheers Jarvoid,.
Sigmund said 2550 days ago (April 5th, 2010)
Me Motorbike
Sounds like I should be knocking back a pint of ale as I listen, with all me pals at the local pub. And such a sad tale - although all's well in the end, eh? - at least until summer comes around again, and your troubles repeat (let's hope not!). Thanks for the listen - enjoyed.
Sig
Check out my latest song called Running with the Wind by Peter B, feat rok41
Jarvoid said 2550 days ago (April 6th, 2010)
Ah yes
a pint of Old Peculier or Speckled Hen would aid somewhat in the convivial surroundings of which you write.Nice to hear from you,thanks for dropping in and having a listen.cheers ,Jarvo.
lengold said 2548 days ago (April 8th, 2010)
That is just
brilliant and very, very funny. Love it. More like this please Chris.
Cheers
Len

Check out my latest song called Decent Girl
Jarvoid said 2548 days ago (April 8th, 2010)
Thanks Len
glad you like it,the events themselves didn't make me smile at the time ,but out of every cloud must come a stream of rain.....eh? no ....I think that's a silver lining.....Doh.
sloparts said 2546 days ago (April 10th, 2010)
What a hoot, Chris
This has all the charm of and Ole English folk song without all the archaic dialect. I love it man.

I do agree with Drak about the "softness", but I think if you redline it you'll blow the motor up and be right back where you started, and the Bloody thing won't go.

Great trak and very enjoyable listen. I think you've found your nitch Chris. ;-)

Ed
Check out my latest song called Quack's Blues
Jarvoid said 2544 days ago (April 12th, 2010)
Thanks for
your kind words here Ed and I hope our little PM conversation cleareed up some of the arcane and mysterious traditions of the way 'bloody' is applied.

Cheers

Jarvoid.
Demeter7 said 2541 days ago (April 15th, 2010)
Sorry
about all the bad luck befallen the group. All of you are amazing and deserve better, I'm sure. I loved it Chris.
Check out my latest song called Boogieman Boogie Halloween 2012
Jarvoid said 2538 days ago (April 18th, 2010)
Thanks for
stopping in and having a listen Char or Deme or ter or, who else?

I will try and get a photo of us all riding the bike on two wheels shortly.
kassia said 2538 days ago (April 18th, 2010)
who'duv thought it?
count fingers can play! my personal fave is the tin whistle - hope the guy is ok. you're a natural storyteller - all this needs is a few cat meows. so glad you got the bike going again. job well done!
Check out my latest song called Greensleeves
Jarvoid said 2538 days ago (April 18th, 2010)
Have to
confess that the tin whistle is a fake ...it is a keyboardvoice but it is good int it? Thanks and ask Mango if she has any meows going spare .Biscuit refuses to co-operate.X Cheers,Jarvo


jiguma said 2536 days ago (April 19th, 2010)
A classic!
This is a great listen Chris - the phone ringing is spectacularly well done.
Love it.
Cheers from Oz,
Neil
Check out my latest song called Wood U Like Chips With That
Jarvoid said 2536 days ago (April 20th, 2010)
Neil,I was not trying
to club any round the head with my forum post but as I appear to have done just that I hope your head gets better and thanks for the listen.

Cheers from the Land of The Whingeing Pom.

Jarvo
lilmom said 2510 days ago (May 16th, 2010)
Been there!!!
Terrific! Was that really a phone i heard ringing?//// Awesome job! Smiled all the way through your sad tale of woe.
Check out my latest song called Tribute to Jeannie and Ed
Artist Info
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Name: Chris Jarvis
Location: York Yes I am in a bit of a state.. United Kingdom
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I have been here a little while now and have learned more in two years than in in the past thirty. I have seldom played to,or for others,being a reclusive 'bedroom' musician.So I had no idea how to present myself and the music that I play,hence I hav... [see more]

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