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Description:
Songwriting is a therapy for me – a kind of bloodletting. When something is bothering me, I write a song about it and usually the feeling goes away (at least for awhile). My oldest daughter started high school this year. The obsession with how one looks, especially girls, came to the forefront. I hate how our society places so much importance on looks – at the expense of getting to know someone’s inner beauty. I was just as guilty when I was younger. I wish I could go back and do it over.
Lyrics:
I used to know this girl
We hung out all the time
She’s not a pretty girl
But inner beauty so sublime
Wished that year would never end
But when they asked if she’s my friend
CHORUS:
I lied, I lied, I lied
I lied, I lied, I lied
I lied, I lied, I lied
Everybody lies, don’t they?
This world can be so mean
Where young girl’s dreams are broken
And words of kindness seem
Just contrived or never spoken
I was just like all the rest
When it’s my turn at the test
CHORUS
We don’t speak much anymore
Since I let her down that day
It’s not like it was before
I just smile and look away
Well I can’t go back again
I betrayed my only friend
CHORUS
Hardware:
PB 1.25GHz 1 GB, Rode NT1-A Condenser Microphone, MOTU 828mkII Audio Interface, Daion Acoustic Guitar, Peavey Bass, EDIROL PCR-30 MIDI Keyboard
Software:
GB 1.1, Crystal S/W Synth (Free), No Loops
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Good honest song &mdash 01/04/05 - 06:27:35 PM
I like the subject matter. Nice melody. I'd let the music
build more though; start small, add layers more
progressively, save some punch for the chorus. It feels
like too much "I lied, I lied, I lied" in the chorus; maybe
mix it up a little with other descriptives of how you lied,
just to make it more varied and dimentional. I particularly
like the end part of the chorus, "Everybody lies, don’t
they?". [ Reply to This ]
Betrayed by drums &mdash 01/05/05 - 05:03:36 AM
I felt that this track was taken over by the drums. They
could use to be turned down, or everything else turned
up. I didn't like the line "shes' not a pretty girl" It felt too
much like that all to important emphasis on looks, maybe
somthing like not too much to look at would have fit
within the lyrics better, but that's just a nit pick. Good
song, and a message we all need to pay attention too. [ Reply to This ]
This song is excellent &mdash 01/05/05 - 05:50:35 AM
I sometimes think it would be nice to go back and undo
the mistakes. At least I try not to repeat them as an adult.
Thank you for posting this song.
I'm reminded of Chris Stamey of the dB's here. I think it's
your voice. [ Reply to This ]
This song is excellent &mdash 01/05/05 - 05:52:30 AM
Well, I wish there were a re-voting feature. oops. :) I'd give 8 for content.
---
Mungo [ Reply to This ]
Great Little Tune! &mdash 01/05/05 - 07:54:13 AM
very lush &mdash 01/05/05 - 02:33:31 PM
your midi keys are very lush, and actually work well with the bouncy rhythm and soft acoustic guitar. vocals, as with all of your tunes, stand out. the only thing i'm not overly crazy about is the chorus. the subject of the song is interesting -- and pretty sobering the more i think about it. your performance really makes the point though. 8778 [ Reply to This ]
Soft edges &mdash 01/06/05 - 12:03:39 PM
Nice easy pop feel like early rock, with a soft edge that heals. I really like the louder section, with the rhythmic punches. Perhaps more variations like this would help the song seems less repetitive. Although I really like it. [ Reply to This ]
cool art &mdash 01/06/05 - 12:06:09 PM
did you do the portrait? very nice. i like the idea of a portrait - the picture of a relationship looks so different after a lie. can't even get back, or rarely. repeating the "i lied" is like the inescapableness of the deed. nice. [ Reply to This ]
Truth, the final frontier..... &mdash 01/10/05 - 09:32:26 PM
Kudo's on speaking some truth....a truth like this will
las t forever 'coz it will be happening forever. I think part of what makes this song poignant is what you tell us before the song about your daughter....if that could be brought into the song somehow, or how you feel about it all now because you have a daughter...coz I don't think the one instance of you denying the friendship in front of others, as told, carries three verses IMHO.......I also tend to agree the "I lied"s are too much- might be effective if that was done on one of the chorus for emphasis.........vocal quality very easy on the ears! Thanks good tune. [ Reply to This ]
Warm and windy and honest &mdash 01/12/05 - 11:14:21 AM
Your textures are wonderful. Your use of strings is really
great, and they sound great, like folk rock from the 70s.
The harp-like vibes give the piece and dreamy, ethereal
quality throughout, and it was nice to hear them in the
solo section. And I like that the solo uses a melody, which
is very pleasing. At times the solo gets a little straight
and clunky, not as flowing as the passing notes played in
the chorus. And there a a few moments everything fails to
sync up perfectly (drums and rhythm guitar). But the
sound is so warm and windy and honest. Really nice
track. [ Reply to This ]
Poignant &mdash 01/12/05 - 07:51:24 PM
The message is matched so well to the music. Such a nice
lyrical feel to this. And poignant, too.
Another comment suggested that the "I lied, I lied, I lied"
patter was perhaps too much. I like that it repeats--so
much like a lie seems to echo after its telling to the one
betrayed. An alternative could be to keep that thread, but
place it in the background and put another vocal line in
front of it.
Of course, leaving it exactly as it is isn't a bad idea either.
:)
[ Reply to This ]
Interesting sound &mdash 01/13/05 - 07:24:48 AM
I can hear your 80's new wave influences peeking through
here and there. But I also hear the Grateful Dead in there
too. Don't ask me why. I think its "Touch of Grey" (or is it
grey?).
The chorus really works. And again, don't ask me why,
but it made me think of the Bronski Beat and their hit,
"Smalltown Boy." I'm not even suggesting they're similar.
Heartfelt storytelling, and as father of two very young
daughters, I know I've got this to look forward to. [ Reply to This ]
very approachable &mdash 01/13/05 - 04:50:59 PM
giving me memories of some great college alt-rock (with a
hint of early REM). superb sound, mood, message in an
unpretentious wrapper. i think the vocals could be
just a touch hotter. great tune [ Reply to This ]
good tune &mdash 01/15/05 - 06:13:12 AM
i love the keyboard, reminds me of fountains and
waterfalls and rainbows! lol! (Thats a compliment) Its got
emotive lyrics, and a refreshing melody. I think the vocals
are lacking strength, but overall, a good song. i like it! [ Reply to This ]
hey &mdash 01/15/05 - 10:50:22 AM
You have some great melodies... and great lyrics to place
upon them. This song really sounds like a Moody Blues'
song to me, and I like them so, really nice work.
A little bit after the middle of the song, the drums start to
sound out of sync to me for a couple seconds, but then it
fixes... but other than that, I don't see any other 'flaws'...
another good track! [ Reply to This ]
Love the chorus &mdash 01/16/05 - 08:16:55 AM
You get a lot out of those two words- "I lied". Really like
the sound you get- smooth, mellow feel but the song
moves very well and doesn't get bogged down. [ Reply to This ]
someone has already mentioned but... &mdash 01/19/05 - 04:34:38 AM
the drum (especially the kicks) doesnt seem to fit in
this song.... to me....
maybe it can be improved at the mixing?
but i like the lyrics and the melody you put here. [ Reply to This ]
Lovely &mdash 01/25/05 - 04:47:57 PM
This is a great song with a very pretty melody. I can
see what people mean about the drums being slightly
harsh and dominant, but overall I don't think the
song needs changing at all. It sounds heartfelt and
sincere just as it is. [ Reply to This ]
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build more though; start small, add layers more
progressively, save some punch for the chorus. It feels
like too much "I lied, I lied, I lied" in the chorus; maybe
mix it up a little with other descriptives of how you lied,
just to make it more varied and dimentional. I particularly
like the end part of the chorus, "Everybody lies, don’t
they?".
[ Reply to This ]