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If You (v1)


by

papag

 Genre: Pop (Alternative)

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Description
A simple song of attraction. This is my first cut in the wonderful world of digital audio. The song itself came to me quickly, however, the instrumentation and mix were a bit of a challenge and this is definitely a work in progress. Feedback is appreciated.

This song has been improved with a follow-up release that includes Scott Johnson on bass and my daughter on organ - If You v2 (w/ Scott Johnson on bass)
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Lyrics
If you stood in my shadow, you might get cold today
That's because the light that shines on me is bright they say

If you stood in front of me and tried to lead the way
I might not mind if we got lost, I think it'd be okay

If you and me...you...I see

Someone told me, you make your destiny
I looked up, to the stars and fell into the sea

With you and me...you...I see

If you knew the secret, of the mystery
Please don't tell me anything, just let me see

That you and me...you...you see
Song Stats
Hits: 2523
Comments: 86
Fans: 38
Plays: 211
Downloads: 61

Uploaded: Aug 17, 2010 - 08:26:30 PM
Last Updated: Jun 01, 2011 - 11:02:25 PM Last Played: May 22, 2013 - 03:16:19 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
Presonus Firebox, Axiom25, Macbook
Software:
LE
Comments
alackbass said 1010 days ago (August 17th, 2010)
If You
Very good pop song. Interesting guitar sounds. I like the melodic bass line. Very well produced and mixed.
Check out my latest song called Just Ain't Worth a Song (2 Track)
papag said 1010 days ago (August 17th, 2010)
Thanks for listening
You are too kind. The bass was keyed in and manually tightened in the midi window, but it does work to support the song :)
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
drakonis said 1010 days ago (August 17th, 2010)
Welcome to the digital world 01101
Very catchy, except that I admit I wanted a bit of a bigger change in chords/percussion in the chorus, the song seemed to just roll straight on from beginning to end... not a terribly bad thing since this is cute. I am enjoying your singing voice, and guitar work. The mix is rather good, considering this is your first foray into digital mixing... the vox are a teeny bit muddied-in-with-the-mix, but clear enough. Simple attraction is strong attraction... good stuff!
ttfn,
Drakonis
Check out my latest song called Belle Aire (for Mandolin Orchestra)
papag said 1010 days ago (August 17th, 2010)
Thanks for the feedback
I appreciate the close listen you gave it. It could use a bit of a break in the log roll. My wife told me to just release it already (wisdom from outside the headphones).


Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
Loob said 968 days ago (September 28th, 2010)
re:vox
Yes a little under the mix. Tastey stuff!
Check out my latest song called Maybe Next Year
ShadowofNine said 1010 days ago (August 17th, 2010)
Wish
my first effort had sounded this good, you are on the road now and looking forward, enjoyed the music and your voice...
Check out my latest song called A Sad Goodbye (Julia's Song)
papag said 1010 days ago (August 17th, 2010)
Thanks for taken the time to listen
I'm glad to put it out. It came to me "in toto" in 3 minutes but took too dang long to get it organized on the machine.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
867-5309 said 1010 days ago (August 17th, 2010)
V.
naturally pleasant singing voice for sure - I.M.H.O. that is - and I think most would really like it too . . . "If You" hit me just right . . . catchy . . . very much so *
Check out my latest song called Berceuse in Ab
papag said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
Catchy is as catchy does
thanks for listening
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
particledots said 1010 days ago (August 17th, 2010)
nice papag
i love the feel here and i think you have got the kernel of a great pop tune here
i would suggest reducing the length a little if you are thinking of developing this further and also think about the space between notes and instruments...
excellent singing too

b
Check out my latest song called i got a new lens
papag said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
valuable feedback
after the three minute point there is some excess content...I like your point about space. thanks
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
magnatone said 1010 days ago (August 17th, 2010)
If You
ooh - nice job papa! very catchy tune, extremely well done - way to go!
Check out my latest song called Blind Love (Seeing Heart) - Orchestral Version
papag said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
kind comments :)
thanks for listening
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
Social_Ice said 1010 days ago (August 17th, 2010)
attractive simplicity...
a very attractive simplicity of a song....and attraction should be just that, so simple and pure.... I really like this piece, though myself knows nothing of this world of digitial mixing.... the only thing I know how to mix well is banana bread!!! i am learning lots here...much enjoyed!!! ~ barbara
papag said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
Simply
Nice of you to listen. I am glad to read that you enjoyed it.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
fasteddie said 1010 days ago (August 17th, 2010)
Hey
this is pretty dang good!

Nice pop feel to it. Cool upbeat song. Kind of wht I needed right now at the moment.

The only thing I can suggest is maybe a distinct bridge. Possibly dropped in key a full note then back again. Maybe not. Perhaps the simplicity of the song is best as is. How's that for wishy washy?

Enjoyed.
Check out my latest song called A Friend to the End
papag said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
Fast Feedback
Yes indeed Eddie, I think a bridge would be nice.

Thanks for the wishy washy feedback :)
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
TobinMueller said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
Feel good mantra
I like the Little Mermaid sounding marimba, made the song happier in my head, for some reason. Altho It may be a tad hot (I was listening from my laptop speakers, tho.) Also, I think the song could benefit from a differentiated chorus or a bridge that shifted things up a bit. Nice use of tambourine, fitting into the whole early rock bubble gum era retro feel. A feel good track. Thanks for sharing this.
Check out my latest song called Frozen Man (by James Taylor)
papag said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
Mermaid Marimba
I think the marimba could use a bit of eq. The song could definitely use a bridge or some difference maker.

Your feedback is appreciated. Thanks!
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
crissew said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
Good start
I think the instrumentation needs to change more to separate the chorus from the verse. Good vibe and well sung but it sounds like one huge long verse as it is now. I agree that the vox need to be separated. Make sure you pan everything except the bass, kick drum and lead vocal. Nothing occupying the same pan level. See if that helps. I think you have the vibe down. Need something with more impact for the chorus. AKA go up in vocal range, makes something catchy, rinse and repeat!
Check out my latest song called Devil's Argument!!!
papag said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
Tips galore
Hey, thanks for your tips. I appreciate you taking the time. Time to go back to the lab.


Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
tokai said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
Upbeat
lyrics and voice are cool, tidy job with the track. Crisp mix.
Check out my latest song called yucatec
papag said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
Thanks for Listening
I hope the next mix will be cooler and tidier.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
Floridaplayer said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
Excellent
Love the voice and upbeat feel. Harmonies here and there would be great and of course the obligatory bridge would break things up. Feels very current and would fit in well with the younger crowd and young at heart.
Check out my latest song called Black Jack
papag said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
The obligatory bridge
Is at the end of the song :) Just kiddin, a bridge would be a nice way to cross from the sea to the mystery bit.

Thanks for the feedback.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
kassia said 1009 days ago (August 18th, 2010)
oh cool
love that opening marimba, cool combo of instruments and a nice energy to the song. love the percussion. i love the sort of contradiction between your laid back vocals and surfer guitar combined with the caribbean drums and marimba. very sweet little tune.
Check out my latest song called Greensleeves
papag said 1008 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
Kassia
Yes, the vocals are a little laid-backwards. I tried to convey the original vibe I had when the song came to me.

Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
Catalina22 said 1008 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
Love . . .
. . . the additional percussion at :37! In fact, there's a lot going on here percussion-wise that is very interesting and engaging. I really like songs like this that have a very simple, uncomplicated chord progression but use creative and original instrumentation to keep the whole thing fresh. Really cool song.
Check out my latest song called The REAL Plant that Geranium! (Mood Ring Mix)
papag said 1008 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
Ears on the clock
Thank you for giving the song a listen.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
CIASM_ZENABI_ said 1008 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
if you
catchy, happy, upbeat, great feel. well arranged and balanced, vocals fit great. enjoyed it. cheers
Check out my latest song called GLOWING IN THE DARK (2012 REMIX)
jiguma said 1008 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
Nice recording for a first digital
There's a lot to like here. Guitars and vocals sound great - I'd probably like a more adventurous bass line though. I agree with Eduard and Tobin that it would be nice to have a bit of a break from the relentless rolling forward feel - I generally like relentless rolling feels, but not in this genre. This could really benefit from a bridge. I also think it's maybe a bit too long at 4:00 - you could probably cut it back by a minute and not notice.
That hopefully positive criticism aside, I think this has good potential as a catchy pop song.
Cheers,
N
Check out my latest song called News Is Gonna Break
papag said 1008 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
Spot on feedback
I will get back to this song and try to apply all the excellent feedback that has come through.

Thanks for listening and providing feedback.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
Willywagga said 1007 days ago (August 20th, 2010)
nice
wickedly catchy song, I really like your guitar, vox needs a bit of clarity. very radio friendly potential. looking forward to the final product it has an up lifting vibe, i love it.
Check out my latest song called The Jes on Sea Road
papag said 1005 days ago (August 22nd, 2010)
Thanks for the comments
Willywagga, I appreciate the positive remarks and feedback. I will endeavor to make it better in the next cut.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
VicDiesel said 1005 days ago (August 22nd, 2010)
Very nice
The chord structure is simple, but the best songs are simple.

I like the way this song develops, and just gently rolls along.

It feels like the vocal could use a bit more reverb: it stands apart a bit from the mix.
Check out my latest song called Fourth Candle
papag said 1005 days ago (August 22nd, 2010)
Simple it is
I definitely need to explore making the vocals have more pop. Thanks for the feedback :)
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
Z293 said 1004 days ago (August 23rd, 2010)
You're well on your way
Into the world of digital audio. The mix sounds nice and crisp to these ears.
Check out my latest song called La Pavillon
papag said 1004 days ago (August 23rd, 2010)
Z is kind
Thank you for your kind words.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
sschedra said 1000 days ago (August 27th, 2010)
Great tune
Love the vocals. Rhythm instruments are cool, but maybe the bongo's are a little too dominant. Bass is too laid back. Guitar work if solid and fits the tune perfectly. I think you have all the tools you need to produce great songs, The writing talent, the musicianship and the ear. The production is always a work in progress for all of us. Good job!
Check out my latest song called E Lucevan Le Stelle
papag said 1000 days ago (August 27th, 2010)
Thanks for the feedback
I appreciate the comments. I will give this song another remix, hopefully soon. I had to put the song out after tweaking the mix for a few days.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
The Orbiting said 1000 days ago (August 27th, 2010)
Very Catchy
Other people have hit on things in the mix and arrangement that you can work with, but I really want to say that there's some solid songwriting talent on display here. It's not easy to write a song that seems so, well...easy and you should be proud of what you've done with it. Don't let this one sit. I'm looking forward to hearing the next version. --L
Check out my latest song called Pygmalion
huntysin said 987 days ago (September 9th, 2010)
:)
the only thing i can criticize is the song would be better with a higher quality mike so i could her the vocals better :D. i loved it! really nice song to chill to. (Y)
Check out my latest song called My Eyes
egobandit said 979 days ago (September 17th, 2010)
OH yeah
This draws me right in , Im in there man this is hypnotic I hope I spelled that right! A download for sure!
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davezero said 979 days ago (September 17th, 2010)
album
get an album of this stuff together, and then a few extras, and a nice little record it would be
Check out my latest song called FEBRUARY
falcef said 978 days ago (September 18th, 2010)
If You
congratulations for this beautiful song, the instruments are well chosen sounds beautiful and interesting, good mix still so good. Hello from falcef in Italy and best wishes for the work and health
Check out my latest song called Live-Jam-in-Brentonec-01
quave said 977 days ago (September 19th, 2010)
If You
If this your first adventure into digital , then its top marks dude . I like the way the percussion just sits at the back of the mix . Good vocals too . I will be Downloading for listening later. peace
Check out my latest song called Bouquet of sound
Corporal Beef said 977 days ago (September 19th, 2010)
Cool
You have all the elements of a catchy pop tune here. Your vocal tracks and guitar tracks are very tasteful.
To take this to the next level, I would recommend adding a bridge of some sort in order to keep the tune fresh throughout. From an instrumentation perspective, I would consider dropping the bongos and adding more melody to the bass line. For me, the bongos worked against the flow of the song, but I understand that's a stylistic choice.
All in all, this is a well-written song that was performed nicely. I really enjoyed listening to it. Thanks for posting.
Check out my latest song called 12.31.12
davezero said 976 days ago (September 20th, 2010)
have i heard this elsewhere?
was i on MJ late at night a month ago searching for a reason why tracks had disappeared from GB and heard this song, or is another version in a movie i saw, i really am charmed by it. very sweet, i almost would like to mix it just to work on it, to crawl under the carriage, tinker. you know.
Check out my latest song called FEBRUARY
papag said 910 days ago (November 25th, 2010)
You wanna?
I think this song could use a "real" mix. That would be welcome :) Thanks for listening.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
Harn said 975 days ago (September 21st, 2010)
If You
Great job for the first time out of the digital box. Don't stop. I think you kept the groove really well, right down the line, not cluttered, all good. I also liked your imagery "I looked up to the stars and fell into the sea". Next please.
Check out my latest song called The Girl Over There
SCJohnson59 said 972 days ago (September 24th, 2010)
Kinda makes me think
of Sting ... that being said I have to agree with jiguma ... the bass part could be a bit more ... adventerous? tastefully busy yet still supportive? ... in any event, enjoyed my listen and check your inbox! :D
Check out my latest song called 0404 aka Girl, You Doll Up Nice Take 2
davezero said 972 days ago (September 24th, 2010)
hey
i figured out how to make it show everyone that i love this tune, i'm slow but get there
Check out my latest song called FEBRUARY
MarkHolbrook said 972 days ago (September 24th, 2010)
Liking this a lot!
Nice tune. Wish the vocals were a bit up more. But linking it!
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Char said 971 days ago (September 25th, 2010)
Love the vibe.
This is fun. You are good. Thanks.
Check out my latest song called The Sea
papag said 927 days ago (November 8th, 2010)
Just about the nicest...
I am glad you liked it :)
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
DWL said 968 days ago (September 28th, 2010)
Classy work
A good groove and a good sound. As others have said, it could do with a little variation but that doesn't detract from the quality of the song.

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called Not For The Likes of You
papag said 927 days ago (November 8th, 2010)
still trying to get this mix right
Thanks for your comments.

I have explored this mix a bit more...and blew up the guitar tracks, so I will have to do something in the nearish future.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
michael2 said 968 days ago (September 28th, 2010)
nice
i like this a lot. everything sounds great, super cool pop tune (a weakness i have), really catchy, your voice sounds great, nice harmonies. great track. sounds better than my first foray into digital (or most of my current output). i would maybe mix some things a bit different (dropping some things at certain points, adding a little grit here and there, etc...), but that's just different mixing styles and ears. i love this though. can't wait to hear the next.
Check out my latest song called yes you told me (that you're cynical)
papag said 927 days ago (November 8th, 2010)
I would if I could
I have gotten hung up and blew up the original guitar tracks...gonna redo this puppy one day :(
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
RochaMalhada said 968 days ago (September 28th, 2010)
Slick vocals
Damn nice singin' there, Papa - like a happy drive with the loved one down the 1 with the top down....

. - Harold

Check out my latest song called Ascent of a Tree (w Mike_D & FEEL)
papag said 927 days ago (November 8th, 2010)
Thanks for the nice-ness
Harold, I appreciate it when people connect with something I have created.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
rabittwhole said 968 days ago (September 28th, 2010)
a big
smile here ...no nits...just grinning
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Rayelise said 968 days ago (September 28th, 2010)
happy
I like the beat/percussion- it's a catchy song. You've a really nice voice, but it sounds a speck drowned out by the instrumentation. I like the line "I might not mind if we got lost, I think it'd be okay." I like the casual feel.
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
papag said 927 days ago (November 8th, 2010)
Thanks for checkin it out
The line you mentioned is my favorite too :)
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
ramonaji said 967 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
really nice
pleasing to my ears!
papag said 927 days ago (November 8th, 2010)
sweet
glad it was pleasing your ears :)
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
ShadowofNine said 966 days ago (September 30th, 2010)
If You
Cool tune and vocal, I'm not much of a help on things because I do everything by feel, and the feel of this song is right on for me...Bravi...
Check out my latest song called A Sad Goodbye (Julia's Song)
bud said 966 days ago (September 30th, 2010)
Great song - really nice feel withe percussion
and you have some good guitar tones working. The vocals are just right for the laid vibe. Excellent first dip in the digital domain.
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tford said 962 days ago (October 4th, 2010)
Very Nice Song
Good vocals, I like the little guitar part.
Will listen to more of your stuff. Peace, Tom
Check out my latest song called I Believe
John Stebbe said 957 days ago (October 9th, 2010)
Effective
The keyboard parts remind me of "Popcorn" from around 1974. Cool sound. Your voice is well-suited for pop music. Reminds me of Donovan, or the vocalist on the Alan Parsons Project. Is that you on live guitar? Very nice chops.
Check out my latest song called Woodwind Family Song
papag said 927 days ago (November 8th, 2010)
It's just a fact
I do play the guitar, all the instruments in fact. It's funny what you say about my voice and pop music...I would love to hear someone with a "real voice" sing a song I had something to do with :)
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
ste said 933 days ago (November 2nd, 2010)
upbeat
backer to melancholic melody. don't know how i missed this. great solo guitar. very nice work
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scofugate said 924 days ago (November 10th, 2010)
I dont
know how I missed this one man, what a cool groove!! Love the arrangement and everything!!
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papag said 922 days ago (November 13th, 2010)
:)
Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time to listen and comment.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
ktholliday said 922 days ago (November 13th, 2010)
~ Hi Papaga ~
If you, made my morning! ~ Thanks for sharing your gift! Papa, so catchy and your voice, so nice!!! ~ more to listen, as I type!! :) I DL right away~ and I like your music!!! ~ Katy ~
Check out my latest song called open collab rock song
papag said 922 days ago (November 13th, 2010)
Too kind...
but I'll take it :)
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
Moviz said 917 days ago (November 18th, 2010)
Love the
instrumentation you used here, so uplifting and bright... the guitar is really nice when it comes in and the vocals sound great. So sorry I'm so late giving you a listen, but so many people here so little time. I'll keep my eyes open for you in future though, regards M
Check out my latest song called Shine Your Light
racerat said 913 days ago (November 22nd, 2010)
happy
go lucky. I needed this uplifting little jammy right about now. Dug it...Great go at the mix, keep at it. You have a good ear. I expect more great things from you!

rat
Check out my latest song called My Broken Sky
papag said 910 days ago (November 25th, 2010)
I want you to be happy
Thanks for listening and taking the time to comment.
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
awigze said 910 days ago (November 24th, 2010)
cool tune
like the way this builds and good dynamics... you have a great voice and you have found your true path.
papag said 910 days ago (November 25th, 2010)
humbling
Your kind words are quite humbling, thank you
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
jdholliday said 901 days ago (December 4th, 2010)
funny we were just chatting
about Neil (jiguma) you kind of remind me of him, this is really really good love the instrumentation! cool lyrics and melody, well sung! Very Nice!
Check out my latest song called Please Help, Pride of NYC needs tracks!
papag said 900 days ago (December 5th, 2010)
glad you liked it
thanks for taking the time to listen
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
Einarus said 901 days ago (December 4th, 2010)
Being a huge marimba fan...
...I was sold at the first couple of seconds!
And when the vocals kicked in with that catchy beat - I was even more convinced.

To be perfectly honest - there were a couple of things that could make this even better (at least in my ears).
Firstly - a very minor nit - I think you could pull the bongos down a tiny bit in the mix. There were times when they were a tiny bit distracting.
Secondly - a slightly bigger "problem" - I really think the song could use some sort of a middle section somewhere. If my ears don't deceive me the marimba, for instance - as good as it sounds - plays that four measure beat all the time throughout the song. Even if it's just a change in dynamics or instrumentation - any change would do this a great deal of good.

But again - that might just be me :)

All in all, though, this was a very enjoyable listen!

-Einar S.
Check out my latest song called Preparation
papag said 901 days ago (December 4th, 2010)
more good feedback
I agree with all your points. Am working on a new mix for the song and hope to put much of the good criticisms to work. I still haven't found the bridge though...
Check out my latest song called How Can I Know?
jottdee said 839 days ago (February 4th, 2011)
nice song!
hi freind, very nice and simply song, i like this sound.
Check out my latest song called Time
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