Pay no attention to the erratic votes! I'll help to "spice" this
one up with you. Remember those harmonies! And think
"beginning, middle and end".

This has the makings of a great track. I believe in you.

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You have the makings of a good little song here. I think what it might most benefit from is the addition of some chords. The funk guitar lick and drums just don't seem to be providing enough structure. You might find a few guitar loops that would serve the purpose but you could also consider using the midi instruments to construct your own (maybe a Roland organ would suffice?).

Lyrically it might help to accentuate a particular phrase to serve as a stronger chorus or "hook."

Keep at it!

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I like your work in general, but this one needs to be
developed a lot more. I won't vote on this version
because it sounds like a rough draft to something that will
eventually be good but isn't ready yet. Build up that
arrangement. Do your thing.

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holy shhh your voice is cute. the structure of the
music of this song is nonexistant, so thats what it
is.. i hope you do something peaches/avenue d
esque. your voice would be genius in some funny
electro sex jams..

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love what your doing vocally. I actually like how sparse it
is. I think there is enough 'stuff' to keep your interest.
Perhaps with a different approach to the mix you can
make the existing elements demand more attention. The
sparsness keeps it on the twisted side, which to me is the
more interesting side.

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great lyric and concept, but need some good Fattening up
on the backing instrument. I love your voice, it has an
edgy quality on this track that I really like.

I agree with PG that it does sound like a idea that needs
more work...

SlimGirlFat

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Yes, it sounds like a demo, but having it be a "band"
without enough players kind of fits with the whole idea of
not letting someone in who might actually fill it out more,
you know? I think a guitar solo would be cool, even one
that starts cool and then kind of falls off the map, like
they can't really play, or it is an audition that failed of a
player, or something to help tell more of a story. It's not
just the arrangement that is not quite finished here, but
the story you're telling. Consider adding things that tell a
story behind the lyrics...

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heh

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