Great chord progression in the chorus, with wonderful
subtle yet expansive layering of the vocals there. And the
mix of the stereo rhythm guitars and electric piano
(oozing in and out in a very wonderful dreamy way) works
really well. A sad lament, and I'm not sure why you chose
the effects of your voice in the verses, the radio-in-a-can
distance; I think I'd rather have your voice present, pulling
at me in a more intimate way, compelling me to take your
hand, you know? Kudos for the protest lyrics. A pretty
great tune and pretty great production. It tugs and pulls
and wishes and dreams. The bells at the end, a very nice
touch. Thanks.

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Thanks for your time and comments Tobin. I hate my voice. if i don't double
track it i feel i have to do something to make it sound not natural. but thanks
to yours and other's comments I think I'll try a version of this without the can.

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John Lennon did the same thing for the same reason. You're in good
company. Revisited the song again and, man, those lyrics are great poetry.
And they sing too. Great song.

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Pretty nice John Lennon / Tears for Fears feel to it.

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This really is a fantastic Track, I was singing along on the
first listen. Your lyrics are excellent and your vocals are
really great. You sing with a winderful tone and emotion
on this, I do actually agree with Tobin that perhaps some
of the effects on your vox are unecessary as you dont
need to have them in IMHO

But any way.... this is a brilliant song...
Damn Good!

SlimGirlFat

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Wonderful not winderful... blurgh

sorry

---
"'You cannot discover new oceans until you have courage to lose sight of the shore'."

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I was thinking lenny kravitz... great song and vocals

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song eleveneyes the musical arrangement is really cool I
like the vocals on chorus but they are a little soft during
the main verses.
8 8 8 8

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original and your own. Great track. The total soundscape
flowing through the headphones. Expressive lyrics.
Another unique track.
Just for fun, pull back a bit on the vox effects and give us
a version two. This is good, real good.
9-8-8-8

Jack

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Great lyrics, music, production. I liked the vocal
performance. But like some have pointed out - the vocal
effects detract from the intimacy I think they need to
measure up to the rest of the song. I also think we can
make a difference. Happy MLK day!

JG

PS - what flavor of Gatorade?

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Gatorade X-factor orange is the secret to my mojo baby!

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It is a very nice tune with so much emotion and color. The
vocals are very well done. Nice metaphors in the lyrics.
The lyrics are well written, and everything is arranged like
a pro.

Your Greatest Fan,
RMANKING

...........................

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RMANKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I love the melody and the smoothe arrangement, and your
singing. Great lyrics, too. I like the in-a-can effect on
your voice in the begining but would like to hear it come
out into the open shortly there after. Maybe it could go
back for a brief period later on. As it is now, you wait
until the very end to bring it out (and it sounds fantastic).

I almost missed this among all the new submissions. I
wish the rating system was functioning so I could help
push this up on the Picks list.

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Really like where the accoustic is strumming softly and
then that beautiful eerie electric piano comes in. This is a
perfect rainy day song. Excellent phrasing,
particularly in the chorus. Downloaded.

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Fantastic chord progression. I'm a Beatlemaniac and if I
had to guess, based on those chords, I'd say you are too.

Please tell me how you record your acoustic. I want that
sound.

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thanks for checking out my tune Nolan. The acoustic was recorded using an
AKG solitube mic. I point it at my guitar by where the fretboard meets the
soundhole. the mic goes into my Mackie mixer. I keep the input gain pretty
high and I usually add some EQ. 10k +3-5db, 2k +2-3db 250 hz -5db. Then
with headphones on, I'll play the guitar and slightly shift the way I'm sitting
and the angle of my guitar till I hear the sweetness of my Alvarez Yairi ringing
through.

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Thanks for the tips. Next time I'm recording, I'll try exactly that. I love the
sound you're getting with that thing.

Well done.

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I'm amazed how much variety there is to the songs
you're posting at the moment. Very brave but
pleasing too – it must be tempting to do the same
sort of things that are received so well over and over
again, so to hear you attempt something different
every time AND make it work is really impressive.
Great chord progressions and I love the keyboardy
bits. Very Beatles/Spock's Beard

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I was going to mention taking the can effect off the vocals,
but it appears a whole messa people beat me to it. I hope
you understand that the reason we want this is because
your voice is attractive and listenable, and we just don't
want anything standing between our ears and your vocals.
You're a wonderful singer. Show off a bit!

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Really solid melody. Very singer-sonwriter-y

I personally dislike the electric piano timbre. It's cheesy to
me. My own personal baggage no doubt, but there it is.

I think the vocals are a little too far back in the mix,
especially notocable when they first come in.

The creamy nugget center is the best part for me.

I'd like the entire arrangement to be fatter and stonger.

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ok, so i love your arrangement, vocals, everything. i want to talk about those lyrics. i know i'm kind of an idiot, so i just wanted to let you know what i thought this song was about, as it progressed. what with the art you have, i was biased toward something involving torutre, a tortured life or relationship, or death. then i read Tobin's comment that it was also a "protest" song and I thought, hmm, mayeb i better pay attention. the first stanza, i thought, was about a couple who couldn't completely connect due to "religious" disagreements. than that great second stanza, making heaven something that inspires instead of a goal, i thought maybe you were talking to Death, like in a Bergman movie. than i went back to the relationship thing again, but really wanted it to be about more, as if the "you" is a savior character who just wants to be friends. but i think it is just about relationships. still, the rack? than i thought that image, which was meant to represent the torture of separation between you and your lover, that mayabe it was a denigrating image about the religion she held? perhaps this sort of distance in definitions is what is separating you. i see a savior in my love, without worrying about whether he knows it or not or would even believe me. its easier that way. then i thought waht TObin meant was it was a kind of love song in a time of world schisms over religion and so could also be an analogy for such a protest. i was satisfied then that there was a double meaning, because all those great lyrics and use of the word heaven really made me think. (just thought you'd get a kick listening to my internal conversation.)

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thanks for sharing suzanne. really, i mean it. it's quite humbling to witness
some of the thought processes a piece of music i write can provoke. Your
comments were frightfully insightful. This song was triggered by a religiously
motivated, heated conversation I had with someone very close to me.
Charged with emotion I wrote this song very quickly, words and music
simultaneously. It was one of those moments when you really feel more like
the conduit through which creativity flows rather than the creator itself. I
wrote
Don't Tell The Queen, which is a social commentary, the previous day
so I was still thinking about our nation, organized religion, the world, the war
etc. so while this song speaks on a personal level it also speaks on a global
level. No matter what creed you recite the bottom line is we either make this
world better, or make it worse. it's up to each one of us to make that
decision.

Thanks again for your thoughts Suzanne...literally!

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A really, really great dong. Took my breath away. Sounds
like it was recorded by a professional. Well done!

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... really is. Very clever. Such a huge subject condensed so
nicely...

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Besides the music is really terrific; you are a POET, with
capital P, O, E and T!

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wow, you really have it dont you? great song writing.
great vocals. great arrangement. this song sounds like
the third generation of Beatles family! now im your fan!

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"...i just want to be your friend"? Great art may be the
ability for us to twist our best lies into universal
rationalizations. You're one damn songwriter, for certain.

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The song is very good. The chord changes are classic and you have a way
of telling a story. I am usaually not a fan of overdriven guitars, but I am
totally hearing one on this song to add depth, and power. Just a
suggestion. Bury a distorted guitar in the mix to add movement and
impact to the tune. You have a wonderfull song, and it is fully realized
which is nice to hear.

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