Nice sounds and melodic themes. While this isn't as
interesting to me as your other work, it is pleasant to
listen to. Seems like it could benefit from some
complimentary bass string section melody that plays off of
the lead melodies. I wish I had clearer way to describe
what I mean. I'm lacking in music theory lingo.

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That's a great idea...hmmm...thanks for your input as I appreciate it greatly.
Am always a student.

---
You've been given talent for a reason...touch a soul.

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Is counterpoint the word you're looking for? Where
the bass notes kind of mirror the melody?

I agree it would benefit from some bass to fill in the
lower end of the spectrum. But I also think it's lovely
just as it is. It has depth and sincerity to it. Very nice
indeed - keep 'em coming.

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Solid melodies. The piece has so much freedom to it, I'd
like more fluidity to the arrangement, less rock drum
influences and more orchestral tympani, and sounds that
soar over the rhythms, like a bridge. Of course, that might
make the track into more of a New Age Ambient piece,
but that seems where it could head. I really like your
member name too; goes really well with this sort of music.

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This song does take the listener on a journey, as you
intended. I think you did a good job varying textures and
voices without making it sound like things were being
forced. Instead, the instruments flow nicely, and paint a
deep and rich picture.

A suggestion: I think this song called for a more subtle
percussion section. To my way of thinking the other
instruments carry things more than well enough that you
wouldn't be hurting the forward movement by lightening
the percussion; you would instead be enhancing the
artistry of this piece. I would especially advise against
repeating a drum fill loop.

I understand that following these suggestions might seem
to contradict your intent with this song. While that’s
possible, it may also not be the case. If you have some
time to experiment in this regard, I think you would find it
rewarding.

There's much to like in this song. I'm confident it will be
enjoyable to track your progress as you continue to
submit new material here, given the depth of your sonic
outlook.


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Yes, thank you for those suggestions...I will add some bass counterpoint and
try some more subtle rythyms. This piece has the intent of driving drums and
the underlying bass part on off beat along with the piano in the second
section having a walking bass downward....I was hoping that that particular
movement of bass and piano would embrace/enhance the upper guitar
melody with voicings. I hear it but apparently something is lacking to other
listeners...which is always incredibly helpful....we work in a vacuum so often
that we miss some obvious things.

I'll spend some time with it as my mind refreshes...maybe as I get away from
it for a couple days while working on new material.

I don't like just uploading any idea and call it a song. I spend many hours
and take this seriously as I truly desire to grow musically. I am very
appreciative that you all take the time to write your thoughts and share those
ideas. It's people like you who make MacJams a wonderful experience.

Thank you!

---
You've been given talent for a reason...touch a soul.

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You paint quite a lush panorama with this composition. I like it. Lead parts are nicely handed off from one instrument to the next. Unhurried, fluid, restful.

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You have a knack for choosing and combining sounds
well; this is a fairly well-balanced track.

The drum track is varied and interesting, although
sometimes it seems to overshadow the other voices
slightly.

Nice layering of sounds, and good pacing and varying of
textures.

There are a number of good themes contained in this one
piece -- perhaps it would benefit from focusing on just a
couple of ideas to make it more "identifiable" and
distinctive. It's a bit diffused in its present form.

Overall, very pleasant listening.



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I think this is definitely an ambient track rather than
a Progressive//Art rock track (but I know the lines
between the two genres can blur). I agree with others
– this needs some kind of counterpoint or a focusing
of ideas. That said, however, it makes for a very
pleasant listen.

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Reminds me a lot of some of Brian Eno's stuff on the
Apollo album. I really like the sound of the drums. The
whole piece is very professional sounding and emotive.
Fantastic!

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Contrary to most of the other posters, I like the bigger
sound in the drums. They just need some finessing. That
drum change-up att he 1/4 mark is a little jaring. Smooth
it out with a fill.

You use a lot of different drum sounds. It would be nice
to see that be more unified throughout.

You being a drummer, I'd think you'd want to explore the
drum capability with GB more . . .

I agree on the idea of a mid-low counterpoint.

Nice timbral choices. Nice melody. So cliche proggy . . .
in a good way.

Progboy Troy

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I like the ambient voices you've gotten here.

I'm inclined to suggest lightening the percussion if you
want to lean towards ambient or making the drums and
bass heavier if you want to rock out in a prog way.
or a mix of the two approaches for contrast, depending on
which section of the song is playing.
Or keep it as it is. :)

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I just ran across this.

Wow. nice

Lost of neat things in this tune.
I love how melodic it is!

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But I still love you, and think you did a heck of job on
this. (I'm just not in touch with my softer feelings)

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Being able to provide no technical input, i think this is a
great melody.... i dl'ed... maybe im weird, but i like it...

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