Home Community Music Blog Old MJ More...      
Every Time For You [Explicit] by cjorgensen [Email]

Get Flash to see this player.


Having playback trouble, try the Quicktime player:

Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike
SONG STATS:
Hits: 1092
Comments: 3
Votes: 5
Plays: 114
Last Played: Nov 04, 2008 - 10:08:36 PM
Downloads: 39
Fans: 0
Uploaded: Jan 31, 2005 - 07:34:58 PM
Last Updated: Jan 31, 2005 - 07:29:36 PM
Fan List
Description:
I wrote this poem about a friend of mine who is overly self-destructive. I penned the words after a date at a time when I was still fascinated by her. This has all since passed, but at least I got a poem and a friend out of it.

Lyrics:
Every Time for You

Helpless horizontal thoughts tease me
and taunt me, tempt me and torment me
every time.
I want your boney legs wrapped around me.
Wrapt and in rapture and on you knees,
all in honesty, but you can't say these things.
Disinterest and casual coolness gets the girl
every time.
Three days minimum before you return the call,
or desire interpreted as desperation kills you
every time.
And I can't even bring myself to hold your dry hand
without fear of rejection or just doing it incorrectly.
Plagued by deception and games no longer
with rules. Scripted spontaneity and pretend indifference
is the only way to play. And I try to conceal,
every time,
the way I feel about you and your red hair, your
thin grimaced lips, your slight breasts, and boyish hips,
the scars on your wrists, and the way you say my name
every time,
you overcome the pain binding you to your shame.
Insecure beauty and compassion, self-destruction,
hidden lies, and a reluctance to get close,
every time.
I envy the panties pressed against your sex and fantasize
my hand under the sheer material,
fingers dancing your wetness to orgasm
every time. I imagine you taking commands,
and talking dirty half-truths to me Catering to demands,
and pressing your body to mine, anticipating my need
for you.
Every time for you.


Hardware:
eMac and Edirol PCR-30

Software:
Garageband only.
You must be registered and logged-in to comment.

yo... &mdash 02/09/05 - 02:16:18 PM
i'll tell you in email.
but i think this is good, bro.

[ Reply to This ]
land mine territory &mdash 02/10/05 - 05:24:09 PM
I'll preface my critique by saying that since this is a
personal poem, I will assume it has much meaning to you,
and I'll try to be objective about such a subjective area...
hmm. I liked the premise of the piece, this is probably a
situation a number of us can relate to from our past (uh,
distant past for some of us :). You captured some of the
girl's manipulative deceit in your words, but for some
reason it didn't hit me as harshly as it should have (or as
harshly as I wanted it to). Re-
reading the words, there's a lot of emotional mind-f---
happening, but something about the flow of words and
ideas didn't convey your agonizing wish that you could
have her, but have her be somebody else, more stable and
honest. Unfortunately, not being any good at poetry
myself, I can offer no other suggestions though, so take
this as about 1.5 cents worth. The background drone was
reasonably unassuming, as it should be so as not to
detract from your delivery. Your spoken delivery was
great I thought. And on the subjective side, 10s for
touching on a razor-blade subject area, yeeks!
ttfn,
Drakonis

[ Reply to This ]
land mine territory &mdash 02/11/05 - 09:11:11 AM
It'll be weird to write this, but most my poems are autobiographical, or in
some cases influenced by what I am reading, or an overheard comment.
Something. I never make things up whole cloth. This said, I have an iron ego,
so people can say what they will without hurting my feelings as long as, 1. it's
honest, and 2. they can back up what they say.

"I liked the premise of the piece, this is probably a
situation a number of us can relate to from our past (uh,
distant past for some of us :). You captured some of the
girl's manipulative deceit in your words, but for some
reason it didn't hit me as harshly as it should have (or as
harshly as I wanted it to)."

I think it's more of my insecurity than any deliberate manipulation. I've been
out of the dating game for some time, and get to when I just don't know how
it's done anymore. Used to come naturally. Now I worry about age and
baggage and what should come next. And I have things to protect now that I
never did before. Things are harder, even if only because I make them so.

"Re-reading the words, there's a lot of emotional mind-f---
happening, but something about the flow of words and
ideas didn't convey your agonizing wish that you could
have her, but have her be somebody else, more stable and
honest."

There is also a regret over confusion. I think you hit it on the head though. I
kept thinking, "She'd be perfect if only she weren't...." I'm often faced with the
choice of being alone or adding someone I know wouldn't be good for me in
the long run. I always choose correctly, but like Heinlein wrote, "You will
regret everything."

Thanks for the feedback.

---
--
Is there a meaning to all this?
www.thisflapfirst.com

[ Reply to This ]
Copyright 2008 Simig Media, Inc.