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From the Album "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Jay contacted me about a month ago and asked if I would be interested in doing another song with him. If you don’t already know his music, let me tell you that it is more than it appears. Or what I mean is that he plays guitars too. Almost all of what I have heard has a clear melodic direction which I find rare in electronic music where it appears many artists rely heavily on samples and redundancy. Jay sent me a slice of songs to pick one to sing on and I decided to take it seriously. I sat back and listened to all of them from beginning to end and found it difficult to pick. All of the songs had something that made me want to write. I asked him if he would let me record an album. He agreed to let me go nuts. After sending me about thirty songs I had picked what I thought would make the point I was going for…
The point I was going for:
I decided that I wanted to take this rare opportunity (ten select songs from a talented artist) and truly commit to an idea. I wanted to do a “concept album” and picked a subject that I felt I still had enough to talk about. I dug deep and wrote about as many painful and true feeling that I could. I cleared the coffers with each part of the story. I mashed relationships together and squeezed the demons of shame neglect and inadequacy to present what I believe reflects why I deserve the relationship I have now.
Method:
I always take every song (mine or others) very seriously. I have some self imposed rules about how I write melodies and lyrics that will only make sense to a few but I thought it would be nice for posterity sake that I share with you why I didn’t follow my rules this time. Normally I sit down day one with the music and rip through lyrics melody and recording without moving once. Why would I do that? Besides being crazy, I feel like the end result of a pressure fueled session keeps me connected to the song after Im done. It makes the music part of my life in a way that tinkering and over thought out/ processed ideas seem to lack for me. This makes getting recordings done difficult lately as I don’t have blocks of time and I have become so accustom to this method that I cant get invested.
Anyway with this collection of music I was committed to getting the most connected experience that I could have. But the idea of ten songs done this way was impossible. I decided to change it up and retool my method. I burned a CD and took it with me to work. I drive for a living so I listened to the songs in a constant loop for up to ten hours a day for a week. I my objective was to familiarize myself with the music in the way that I might have been there with Jay when he wrote them. I avoided writing lyrics and got almost all the way through the week before I realized that I had written most of the songs in my head. Yeah some bad driving went down that week but it was the risk I was willing to impose.
So I had only suggested that I would like to do and album because my ladies had plans to be out of town and I had a weekend to record. As it was fast approaching I actually got nervous. I intended to complete ten songs and I still had to work during the day so I really only had about twenty hours to get what I wanted out of the experience. I hope that you can understand that as I don’t take anything seriously like music, it was important that this was smooth. Well, I started Friday night and one after the other the songs started getting done. I had in some ways over prepared. I new every melody that I wanted. I had every harmony in mind and almost all the lyrics memorized. (side note: I have forgotten most of the lyrics as that is how my brain works. Any thoughts on if that makes me odd?) Sunday morning the songs finished I felt like even though I had separated myself from a “method of formula” that I have used for my painting poetry carving writing and music that I had not fallen to far off the emotional coarse that makes this process so satisfying for me. The disconnect that I hate about prolonged projects seems to have been buried by the tight time frame.
The Song: “I Hate You”
You may notice with all my song that there is some ambiguity in the lyrics. At times the songs can be taken many ways and this one is for sure meant to be that way. I think this one is my bravest lyric as it is so simple but was so difficult to call myself a Rock Star…or did I?
Living in Rewind-track1 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
The Mission Man-track2 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Ego Parade-track3 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Horrible Me-track4 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Five Thousand Times-track5 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
The Monster I am-track6 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
I Hate You-track7 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
A Warning-track8 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Lovers Genocide-track9 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
The Vampire Within-track10 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
I hope that you enjoy what Jay and I have put together and look forward to some feedback.
Jay contacted me about a month ago and asked if I would be interested in doing another song with him. If you don’t already know his music, let me tell you that it is more than it appears. Or what I mean is that he plays guitars too. Almost all of what I have heard has a clear melodic direction which I find rare in electronic music where it appears many artists rely heavily on samples and redundancy. Jay sent me a slice of songs to pick one to sing on and I decided to take it seriously. I sat back and listened to all of them from beginning to end and found it difficult to pick. All of the songs had something that made me want to write. I asked him if he would let me record an album. He agreed to let me go nuts. After sending me about thirty songs I had picked what I thought would make the point I was going for…
The point I was going for:
I decided that I wanted to take this rare opportunity (ten select songs from a talented artist) and truly commit to an idea. I wanted to do a “concept album” and picked a subject that I felt I still had enough to talk about. I dug deep and wrote about as many painful and true feeling that I could. I cleared the coffers with each part of the story. I mashed relationships together and squeezed the demons of shame neglect and inadequacy to present what I believe reflects why I deserve the relationship I have now.
Method:
I always take every song (mine or others) very seriously. I have some self imposed rules about how I write melodies and lyrics that will only make sense to a few but I thought it would be nice for posterity sake that I share with you why I didn’t follow my rules this time. Normally I sit down day one with the music and rip through lyrics melody and recording without moving once. Why would I do that? Besides being crazy, I feel like the end result of a pressure fueled session keeps me connected to the song after Im done. It makes the music part of my life in a way that tinkering and over thought out/ processed ideas seem to lack for me. This makes getting recordings done difficult lately as I don’t have blocks of time and I have become so accustom to this method that I cant get invested.
Anyway with this collection of music I was committed to getting the most connected experience that I could have. But the idea of ten songs done this way was impossible. I decided to change it up and retool my method. I burned a CD and took it with me to work. I drive for a living so I listened to the songs in a constant loop for up to ten hours a day for a week. I my objective was to familiarize myself with the music in the way that I might have been there with Jay when he wrote them. I avoided writing lyrics and got almost all the way through the week before I realized that I had written most of the songs in my head. Yeah some bad driving went down that week but it was the risk I was willing to impose.
So I had only suggested that I would like to do and album because my ladies had plans to be out of town and I had a weekend to record. As it was fast approaching I actually got nervous. I intended to complete ten songs and I still had to work during the day so I really only had about twenty hours to get what I wanted out of the experience. I hope that you can understand that as I don’t take anything seriously like music, it was important that this was smooth. Well, I started Friday night and one after the other the songs started getting done. I had in some ways over prepared. I new every melody that I wanted. I had every harmony in mind and almost all the lyrics memorized. (side note: I have forgotten most of the lyrics as that is how my brain works. Any thoughts on if that makes me odd?) Sunday morning the songs finished I felt like even though I had separated myself from a “method of formula” that I have used for my painting poetry carving writing and music that I had not fallen to far off the emotional coarse that makes this process so satisfying for me. The disconnect that I hate about prolonged projects seems to have been buried by the tight time frame.
The Song: “I Hate You”
You may notice with all my song that there is some ambiguity in the lyrics. At times the songs can be taken many ways and this one is for sure meant to be that way. I think this one is my bravest lyric as it is so simple but was so difficult to call myself a Rock Star…or did I?
Living in Rewind-track1 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
The Mission Man-track2 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Ego Parade-track3 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Horrible Me-track4 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Five Thousand Times-track5 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
The Monster I am-track6 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
I Hate You-track7 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
A Warning-track8 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Lovers Genocide-track9 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
The Vampire Within-track10 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
I hope that you enjoy what Jay and I have put together and look forward to some feedback.
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Lyrics
I hate You
who
just who do you think you are
if you traveled a million miles
Id spend my life in a rocket ship just to say
girl I hate you
for making me feel this way
girl i hate you
thats why I can let you get away
who do you think you are
youre not a rock star
thats me
i dont think piggys can sing
oh thats right you scream
thats why I decided to leave
girl I hate you
I hate you for making me feel this way
who do you think you are
who
just who do you think you are
if you traveled a million miles
Id spend my life in a rocket ship just to say
girl I hate you
for making me feel this way
girl i hate you
thats why I can let you get away
who do you think you are
youre not a rock star
thats me
i dont think piggys can sing
oh thats right you scream
thats why I decided to leave
girl I hate you
I hate you for making me feel this way
who do you think you are
awigze
Yes. I get this way too. Unsupervised.