Congratulations on your first original song! I really
like the bits where you've got more instrumental stuff
going on - there's some nice tunes and sound
combinations in there. Perhaps it could benefit from
a few more of these to fill out the quieter passages a
little. A good start though!

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Thankyou Rebsie, your kind words are encouraging, especially from one who
is up to her ears in talent anyway...

I was thinking that the broken chord bit which I think is the pale bit you were
talking about, might sound better in its own song... who knows

Thanks, Archy

---
Life is a terminal illness

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I like this

This is an interesting song, with different instruments, and some nice changes. I would keep working on this, growing it, adding layers of other sounds to get it to flow more and bring it together as a whole. The melody line and how you work it throughout the song is fresh to my ear. 7-6-7-6

Jack

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Changes seem fresh yet melancholic. Listen to your
favorite songs and imitate them( advice from my awesome
musician brother). As a first original song consider it your
baby steps, later you will walk, and then run. Keep writing
and playing and learning, for time will make you better at
all of them.

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Thanks All



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