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And so, the end is near and the final piece of the Celebrity Torture jigsaw falls into place. Four years in the making and tonight is the final show. Last year's star has been discarded and is living in a house of straw and this year's hopefuls wait in the wings.
Our host, Leery Old Dermutt, no longer simply introduces the contestants. He has been moulded into a bona fide song and dance man, and in truth he's a lot better than most of the contestants. People now tune in early just to see his opening number.
Tonight they've pushed the boat out. A 60 piece orchestra with a dance troupe of laughing gnomes, elves and faeries. Leery will sing a song celebrating the wonder that is illusory fame.
The contestants, having proved how well they can't sing, will tonight show how they can't dance. And off they go. A bit of faux latin jazz funk gives way to a spot of 80s euro-disco from Sir Dennis Crowther. The disco dancing stops and the dancers find a new challenge in the experimental take on Fred Astaire from MeesterJim but it's OK, we're into 70s cop show mode soon enough (nice sweater Starsky).
But wait, what's this? Last year's hero has broken through security and is determined to have his swan song and …...... is that a bomb he's holding........ ?
Cue the tape Bob.
Dramatis personæ
Leery Old Dermutt : Graeme Hobbs
Last Year's Hero : Dick Langford
Euro-pop maestro : Sir Dennis Crowther http://www.macjams.com/artist/sir+dennis+crowther
Fred Astaire's diabolical twin: MeesterJim http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=910842
Toto: himself
Wicked Witch of the North: Margaret Thatcher
Not here at all : Sir Timothy de Ferrars
Sheep: All of us
Words : Graeme Hobbs
Music : Langford/Hobbs with many, many thanks to Charles and Jim (Sir Dennis and MeesterJim) for their wonderful contributions
Our host, Leery Old Dermutt, no longer simply introduces the contestants. He has been moulded into a bona fide song and dance man, and in truth he's a lot better than most of the contestants. People now tune in early just to see his opening number.
Tonight they've pushed the boat out. A 60 piece orchestra with a dance troupe of laughing gnomes, elves and faeries. Leery will sing a song celebrating the wonder that is illusory fame.
The contestants, having proved how well they can't sing, will tonight show how they can't dance. And off they go. A bit of faux latin jazz funk gives way to a spot of 80s euro-disco from Sir Dennis Crowther. The disco dancing stops and the dancers find a new challenge in the experimental take on Fred Astaire from MeesterJim but it's OK, we're into 70s cop show mode soon enough (nice sweater Starsky).
But wait, what's this? Last year's hero has broken through security and is determined to have his swan song and …...... is that a bomb he's holding........ ?
Cue the tape Bob.
Dramatis personæ
Leery Old Dermutt : Graeme Hobbs
Last Year's Hero : Dick Langford
Euro-pop maestro : Sir Dennis Crowther http://www.macjams.com/artist/sir+dennis+crowther
Fred Astaire's diabolical twin: MeesterJim http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=910842
Toto: himself
Wicked Witch of the North: Margaret Thatcher
Not here at all : Sir Timothy de Ferrars
Sheep: All of us
Words : Graeme Hobbs
Music : Langford/Hobbs with many, many thanks to Charles and Jim (Sir Dennis and MeesterJim) for their wonderful contributions
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ted23
Wow!
That had me baffled and smacked me in the gob...
Huge production. Very impressive.
Speechless.....