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This is the first song in a new project I'm working on. I'll make a forum post elucidating it, but at this point, I'd love some constructive criticism, especially with regards to vocals and the mix. I've been listening to a lot of seemingly concept driven indie folk acts like Joe Pug, Anais Mitchell, The Tallest Man On Earth, and The Cave Singers, along with a whole bunch of blues. SO that's where this stuff is coming from at this point. I hope you all enjoy!
Here's a link to my explanation of the album's 'mission,' so to speak:
http://macjams.com/forum/viewtopic.php?forum=4;showtopic=258587
Cheers
Here's a link to my explanation of the album's 'mission,' so to speak:
http://macjams.com/forum/viewtopic.php?forum=4;showtopic=258587
Cheers
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Lyrics
Devotions (A Proem)
I’ve survived upon a list of all the glass-sealed dialects
That shatter for the poets who we swore to resurrect,
And you told me one night all about the company you keep,
How it scurries in the greenery that clothes you as you sleep.
You came nameless to a body, blossoms bleeding in your eyes –
Now the courtiers and their sages weep upon their riversides,
And I was sinking in the soil as it crumbled and it thinned
Until you leaned down and you told me that I could breathe again –
And the cities, they rage for you –
They wage and they die and their citizens cry when you pass with your skin slick with dew,
And you’ll bury their dead with a wreathe on your head where the cedars once straightened and grew:
And I won’t pay heed to you, no I will not pay heed to you.
I’ve survived upon the silk that you draped across our sins,
And the roughened cloth you measured out to wrap their bodies in,
Yes, you know the hapless frames that you have woven out of vine
Will unravel when you sway amid your rot and your decline.
You’ll build an empire of your laughter, watch it as it fades –
You tell me that corruption is a nightmare that you made,
One day, you know, the time and tides will hollow out your stones,
This wilderness of glass and salt undress your regal bones –
You’ll go away cold.
But the cities, they rage for you –
You’ve ravaged their roads and distended their odes, you’ve decreed them embroidered anew,
You’ll be raw on the teats of a gyre-born beast when the needles, they thread their way through:
And I won’t pay heed to you, no I will not pay heed to you.
I’ve survived upon a list of all the glass-sealed dialects
That shatter for the poets who we swore to resurrect,
And you told me one night all about the company you keep,
How it scurries in the greenery that clothes you as you sleep.
You came nameless to a body, blossoms bleeding in your eyes –
Now the courtiers and their sages weep upon their riversides,
And I was sinking in the soil as it crumbled and it thinned
Until you leaned down and you told me that I could breathe again –
And the cities, they rage for you –
They wage and they die and their citizens cry when you pass with your skin slick with dew,
And you’ll bury their dead with a wreathe on your head where the cedars once straightened and grew:
And I won’t pay heed to you, no I will not pay heed to you.
I’ve survived upon the silk that you draped across our sins,
And the roughened cloth you measured out to wrap their bodies in,
Yes, you know the hapless frames that you have woven out of vine
Will unravel when you sway amid your rot and your decline.
You’ll build an empire of your laughter, watch it as it fades –
You tell me that corruption is a nightmare that you made,
One day, you know, the time and tides will hollow out your stones,
This wilderness of glass and salt undress your regal bones –
You’ll go away cold.
But the cities, they rage for you –
You’ve ravaged their roads and distended their odes, you’ve decreed them embroidered anew,
You’ll be raw on the teats of a gyre-born beast when the needles, they thread their way through:
And I won’t pay heed to you, no I will not pay heed to you.
alackbass
I'm loving the guitar. What tuning are you using? The fluid part is evidence of your rapidly growing skills on the instrument. Very nice melodic content in your chordal accompaniment. I like the intro. I wish I had written that main guitar theme.
Perhaps your strongest vocal to date. You establish a strong melody and while you may elaborate and ornament the vocal melody in places you never drift away from the main melody. The melody is well suited for your vocal range too. You're becoming very good at transitioning to your falsetto and back to your full voice. I think you're opening up more. You really belt this out in places. Sounds great when you do.
Your best recording to date. I love the reverb and echo you used on the vocal. There's some nice depth to both without being over the top wet. The guitar is present, clear, and full! Like I'm sitting right in front of you as you play.
I haven't even gotten to your poetry yet. Beautifully ambiguous, full of rich language. Dylan (Bob that is) would have been proud to write these lyrics.