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Description:
Started as an a capella improv, turned into something slightly different. The lyrics are a tribute to Maximus (yeah from Gladiator, yeah I'm a dork) and when he found his poor wife and son killed.
Lyrics:
Kick me when I'm down.
Wretch and taste the tears.
Clench and grab my stomach and
wipe my nose clear.
Staggered breaths come quickly
The rhythm section of my pain
Can't breath, can't breath
can't breath, now scream
This is my love
The sound of my heart breaking
that flows from these open wounds that can only
that can only
be healed by the stitches of time
I would die for you, I would die for you, I would die for you
Over, and over again (repeat)
Can't get you out pf my head (over again)
Pieces of you everywhere I turn
Over again.
Kick me when I'm down.
Wretch and taste my fears (taste my fears)
My broken heart still bleading and
these wounds won't disspear
Your smile, your hair, your smell is everywhere (2x)
All over, and over again (repeat)
Hardware:
just me, some drum loops and my acoustic.
Software:
all garage band.
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Very Cool Track &mdash 03/04/05 - 11:57:43 AM
This is really a fresh sounding tune. I like the
structure of the song with the a capella and
instruments coming in at different points. I might
like to hear your lead vocal with less "effects",
bringing it up front more. I look forward to listening
to more of your songs.
I liked that movie too.
fellow dork?
Jack [ Reply to This ]
Very Cool Track &mdash 03/04/05 - 03:56:59 PM
Thanks man.
Honestly, this mix blows, I need to get back in there and tune it up, but it was more of an improv than anything else.
Appreciate the comments!
---
Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one.
—Stella Adler
[ Reply to This ]
Ha! &mdash 03/04/05 - 04:11:06 PM
My fave is "Wipe my nose clear"... he sure was drippin'
wasn't he?
It's a great ditty! Just need some sharpening up and this
would be perfect! Funny, rockin' and great concept mixing
the acapella with some rock guitar!
[ Reply to This ]
For honor and glory! &mdash 03/04/05 - 04:24:53 PM
Fun! The "ba-dum, ba-dum" harmony sounds great. I think the mix will work better if you bring up the bass vocal a bit and even out the levels on the lead. The recording on the lead has some pretty severe clipping in places that wrecks your performance when you really belt it out.
The vocals also sound slightly distorted, like you're running a wah-wah effect or something? I'm not sure what this is, but it seemed to detract for me.
The fun in this song comes from the a capella, maybe pull back the guitar backing a bit so it doesn't obscure them? Great little guitar textures in the middle-eight!
This is a fresh piece. If you hadn't revealed the inspiration I'd have never known (and yeah, I liked that movie too!). [ Reply to This ]
To the Max &mdash 03/04/05 - 08:09:52 PM
Kudos for creativity. I liked Gladiator. I would never have
thought of composing a song in this style to pay tribute to
the embattled, devastated warrior. Great job. [ Reply to This ]
I'm Glad I Heard More &mdash 03/05/05 - 08:25:36 AM
Excellent vocals here.
Loved it when the guitar kicked in. Cringed a bit when that
synthy part came in for a moment about 3/4 of the way
through - I'm glad it disappeared.
I agree with most of the comments about the production,
but your performance and concept here does come
through despite the production. [ Reply to This ]
Fresh &mdash 03/05/05 - 11:40:33 AM
The into, felt a little out of tune to me. I agree with Dadi,
less effecting on the main vocal. Great concept though.
Loved the boppy reggae groove, and then the big guitar
sound. Could really use a little more refinement, but
great start! [ Reply to This ]
Fresh &mdash 03/06/05 - 01:02:25 PM
Yeah, the flange has to go. Nice concept, good demo, now go clean it up and
you could have something really good here.
---
Beauty should be edible, or not at all.
-- Dali [ Reply to This ]
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This is really a fresh sounding tune. I like the
structure of the song with the a capella and
instruments coming in at different points. I might
like to hear your lead vocal with less "effects",
bringing it up front more. I look forward to listening
to more of your songs.
I liked that movie too.
fellow dork?
Jack
[ Reply to This ]