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| zendog said 1726 days ago (March 6th, 2005) | |
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Honesty is very important. Thanks for the comments. Been trying to get better on the vocal side for years and I was hoping to get some input on that. I was in groups where I did the words and music and mostly handed it off for someone else to sing. I'd like to keep peace in the world and spare it from my voice, but I just can't seem to stop the darn thing. And point well taken on the drums. This started out as a simple acoustic song and got built up from there. Tried to keep the simple vibe going, was the thought. Thanks again. Check out my latest song called Sold Out
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| mrcjtm said 1694 days ago (April 6th, 2005) | |
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not bad The beginning sounds great, you're on key and the guitars and soft in an almost Wilco-ish electric yet still soft music. I love "my hands hurt" as the opening lyrics, thats great. However, this doesn't really have much of a buildup. It keeps the same tempo, volume, and general feel the whole way through. I don't feel like I've gotten anywhere by the end, and a key to putting together a good song is similar to a book. it has to have conflict and it has to have buildup, a climax, and a resolution. the lyrics aren't bad though, you have the conflict part down because you convey emotions well in your lyrics, and in your singing somewhat if you weren't constantly hitting sour notes. I have a feeling there's a buildup and resolution you've written into the lyrics, but it's just not conveyed to the listener. Check out my latest song called High Rise
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| breezer said 1667 days ago (May 4th, 2005) | |
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Song is nice The lyrics are great, but your vocals again creates a problem. No offence to you, but I would love to hear your music with someone that has a voice for it. Check out my latest song called Leapfrog
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| zendog said 1666 days ago (May 4th, 2005) | |
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Not going to disagree at all No offense taken, and I appreciate the comments. Vocals are somewhere down the list on my musical ability scale, not for lack of trying, but literally trying to find a voice to sing the songs in. I'm new to the whole singing thing, versus several years on the guitar and writing stuff in bands for others to sing. I'd have zero problem if someone wanted to lend their vocal talents to give the songs a kick. It's worked well for me in the past, and I expect it'd work well in the future. And truth be told, I keep working on the vox myself. Practicing a lot more since I began posting here. It's still sort of like playing the lottery. I figure one day I'll hit. Thanks for giving it a listen. Again can't say enough that people are willing to take the time, listen, and offer suggetions. Check out my latest song called Sold Out
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| Doadars Uncle said 1659 days ago (May 12th, 2005) | |
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I like it a lot! I think it can work with your voice. Feel it! I have a hard time singing. Look for a vocal quality that will work. Neil Young, Lou Reed and Bob Dylan are examples of those who have compensated by finding the soul. Find a style. Experiment. Check out my latest song called Capitalist's Drag
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| zendog said 1646 days ago (May 25th, 2005) | |
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I like it a lot! Thanks for the support. I keep working on it, and you nailed some of my role models. I'm working on reeling in the tune a bit on vocals, picking a line, going with that, finding a more natural voice to sing in. Practice helps as well. Been doin' a lot of that lately. Trying to find my zone, or at least get a couple zip codes closer. Maybe the same state. Thanks for listening and the comments Check out my latest song called Sold Out
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| Dead End said 1617 days ago (June 23rd, 2005) | |
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Good song You've got a good story and a really catchy hook here. Some nice guitar work too. After reading the other comments about vocals etc. all I can say is I too have some trying times with them. I've found that I sing better without headphones on. Maybe the echo in the room helps me, I don't know. Which limits one to doing live recordings, although usually it's more fun to wing it and sing it. Rock on! Check out my latest song called July 3rd
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Check out some of my other songs:
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TennesseeVic
It should be avoided at all cost.
Anway, your singing is regularly out of tune, which makes
it hard to listen to this song. Pity, because the guitar work
sounds quite tasteful. On the other hand, the drums are a
bit too primitive. Find a loop, a midi sequence, or a buddy
who can program drums?
The song itself is not bad.