This is quite a stretch from what I usually hear from you
and you did a GREAT job!! Twisted and rockin'!

That's just so strange.... man.... you did a great job! I just
typed that twice, heh! Good on ya, probably the best thing
I've heard from you.

Faved and Downloaded!

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Glad you liked! I was thinking of contacting you to collab before I thought of
my old dusty lyrics! The groove just seemed right up your alley. Thanks.

---
Beauty should be edible, or not at all.
-- Dali

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I needed a song like this.

Your song art got me here.....

The content of the song got me there....

Fantastic tension and imagery. You did a good job
laying down a solid backing track that hold your
attention but doesn't overpewer the lyrics (which
would be tough).

Lo-fi mic tones are tougher sometimes to get where
you want. This example worked good. Nice writing. I
love tele so I am biased of course, but good guitar
textures in spite of my predisposition to like it.

Thick mix might need a little wrangling in spots to
polish it up. I say it's good as is, unless your going
for mass listenership....don't force this one into
submission.

Rock-on.


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Thank you U.S. - I've become a real Tele fan (which I never would have
believed back in "the day") they're great work-horses.

I couldn't think of a good piece of art to use and didn't want to take the time
to futz w/ it, but also didn't want to leave it empty, so I used my tele photo
that I've used before on a couple of blues numbers.

---
Beauty should be edible, or not at all.
-- Dali

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You don't post often, but when you do.... "BANG"!

YOWZA... this is COOL!

A case of VIAGRA?

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OK, I'll stop.

---
Beauty should be edible, or not at all.
-- Dali

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those lyrics are sooo true! really nice grind on this, i'm
lovin your wailing vox. super great job on the the grunge
factor-this is legit!

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Thanks. Bizarrely enough the lyrics were inspired by an episode of "Picket Fences" that aired back in '94 in which:

"Kimberly's boyfriend is too prudent as they struggle with sexual-consent
guidelines."

I added the "No means no" verse today as well as the spoken comment at the
end.---
Beauty should be edible, or not at all.

-- Dali

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I thought about not commenting, but I have some trouble
with the lyrics. Even in a humorous way. Maybe it's
because I just finished producing a documentary on
dating violence and teenagers. I interviewed several girls
who were hurt by someone they knew, who didn't 'ask
permission' and assumed that no comment meant yes.

Nothing personal. I like the music, the production, just
not the message.

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Hey, that's fair enough, and I think it's one of the reasons I let those lyrics sit
on a shelf for so long. It's also the reason I added the verse about no means
no, etc. I think you and I would probably agree on this subject in more ways
than you would probably think. Violence and coercion are never acceptable
period.

What this was a reaction to was the trend to go over the line from being
sensitive to others to being out and out paralyzed by the fear of stepping
over a line. Much is the difference between being liberal and doing the whole
"politically correct" routine. The episode of "Picket Fences" referenced above
involved a girl who was being driven nuts by a boyfriend who literally was
stopping whatever they were doing and explicitly asking for permission for
going to the next step.

I should have also prefaced this by the same kind of disclaimer that I did for
Big Bad
World This is pretty much a character piece since I'm not young and
don't really need to deal with the touchy subject presented here, since I've
been married for 14 years, and I'm quite glad to not have to deal with all the
nonsense that singles do today. Strangely enough I work at a Legal Aid
organization and we just finished a video that included a domestic violence
case, which we see too many of - and let me tell you I'm every bit as repulsed
as you are any time I hear of someone using violence or coercion in pursuit of
"sex" (I use quotes, since AFAIC it ain't really sex unless you both want it).

All that said, I guess it wouldn't really do it's job as a "punk" song w/o
offending somebody, so, thanks for validating it's status for me. :-)---
Beauty should be edible, or not at all.

-- Dali

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Happy to oblige. And I understand letting lyrics sit on the shelf. I have done
the same thing with some of my songs that I am not sure people will get.
From the comments so far, it looks like most people get this piece. I will be
interested to see how female MacJammers (the few, the brave) will react.



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Maybe packo n chikoppi can add you to that tense label.
Wicked , nasty sound and thought provoking lyrics.Rock
on!

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Thanks CB. At this point I'd settle for an occasional collab w/ them. :-)

---
Beauty should be edible, or not at all.
-- Dali

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Great concept and performance on this tune! At first I
didn't think I was going to like the lo-fi mic effect, but
after listening to the whole thing, it really fits well!

Love the accompaniment, grinding and bumping
along....which fits the provocative lyrics perfectly.

Yes, the lyrics could hit some raw nerves, but I think it's
also important to portray the ins & outs of today's society.
It is such a weird, quirky combination of explicit sex, yet
we are so uptight about it. It's truly a dichotomy, and you
communicated this very effectively in this song.

This is not a tune I would normally rate highly, but you did
such good work on it that I must. Great job!

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Thanks for the thoughtful review (as usual Cameron) and thanks for the
support on the subject matter. I guess I also sort of came out of a school of
thought that says that art should sometimes shock and or at least provoke
thought or discussion (which seems to be happening here) so I think it
worked (at least at some level. :-)

---
Beauty should be edible, or not at all.
-- Dali

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I really dug this song, the lyrics are so poignent, though I
see where atwood is coming from. My only peeve is the
low-fi vox. I think I know the feel you were going for, but
to me, it missed the mark. Great work!

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You're kidding? I think the voice is entirely in the character of the song.

Good stuff.

---
Victor -- I review yours, you review mine, 'kay?

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many times!

word to the sex!

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Thanks bro,

Your comment made me smile :-)
Been "away" for a bit, but hope to get back in the swing now.

Hope you didn't hurt your head too much ;-)

---
Beauty should be edible, or not at all.
-- Dali

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song. Yeah, I can see some people's feelings about the
lyrics. From a purely musical/musicianship point of view,
however, this is a very well-written song, and you really
get your point across, which I know coming from you,
doesn't have any malicious intent, so.... good job!

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In favorites. Lots of rage - Love it! There's nothing wrong with the world that one massive orgy couldn't fix!

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P.S. That's a cool, um, tool in the graphic.

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I wasn't offended. It brought back memories of those "contracts" that were all the rage in schools a while ago that have been referred to here. On the one hand, there's good reasons for all that stuff. On the other hand it can get kind of ludicrous when taken to extremes, which I think is what this song is about.

Basically I see this guy's point. :-)

And great production, aside from the politics. Reminds me a little of Oingo Boingo.

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'Nuff said.

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'Nuff said.

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its creative, i'd like to hear another track with with less vocal effects just to hear how it sounds in a raw more punk form. some nice guitar parts going on. interesting lyrics lol. i think with less effects it would maybe give a stronger grunge feel that this song almost has.

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Hello Gentleman Jack Grisham,

This is a hot tune -- echoes of T.S.O.L.'s "Code Blue" in a less necrophiliac shade of blue.

I likes.
-g

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