The Ballad Of A Breakup

Leebo

Genre: Other

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Description

2nd upload of this song...other macjammers confirmed my concerns that the vocals were a bit muddy, (I'm using a different mic), so I cleaned the vocals up and re-uploaded.
The song is a bit of a an epic, about a failed relationship and the journey back home to be with friends.
No loops were used.
Hope you like!

Lee

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Lyrics

Don’t ask me why
You must know the reason
I won’t explain
Why bother try?
And if I stay
I’d be just deceiving,
Or would you prefer
To live a lie?

Cos I can’t breathe
Everytime I look at you
Cos I can’t breathe
All those little things you do
Cos I can’t breathe
The way you eat your food and talk too loud
No I can’t breathe
It seems that two’s become a crowd

Like the baby bird
That fell from the branches
Like the priest
Who fell from grace
What’s done is done
There are no easy answers
So let this be
Our last embrace

Cos I can’t breathe
Everytime I look at you
Cos I can’t breathe
All those little things you do
Cos I can’t breathe
The way you bullshit and spread your lies and poison words
No I can’t breathe
Wipe those plastic tears from your eyes

(HER)
Give me a reason
Lets talk about it
Please don’t leave me
Let’s talk about it
You know I love you
I always think of you
Each day
I’ll change if you let me
Let’s talk about it
This can work
Let’s talk about it
I can’t live without you
I can’t live without you
No way
And if I can’t have you
You know I’ll make you pay

coda
Five PM and I’m on the train
Cross country in the pouring rain
Six PM and I’m on the street
Concrete nostalgia beneath my feet
7 PM and I’m with my friends
The ones on who I can depend
8 PM and I’m in a car
9 PM and I’m in a bar
10 PM and I’m off my face
11PM on a vodka chase
12 pm and I’m happy now
1 PM in Mr Chows

Sweet And Sour for one.

Song Stats

Hits: 14348
Comments: 31
Fans: 14
Plays: 3604
Downloads: 202
Votes: 28
Uploaded: Mar 07, 2005 - 09:27:09 AM
Last Updated: Mar 07, 2005 - 07:40:59 AM Last Played: Nov 23, 2009 - 10:49:22 AM

Song License

Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Song Actions

Hardware:

eMac

Software:

GB2, Jampack Symphony Orchesta

Comments

Kevensor	Kevensor said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
	8-8-8-8! I didn't hear the original, but I think this is very good. I downloaded it. Good use of classical building and crescendos to illustrate different feelings and emotions! Looking forward to hearing more of your music. Check out my latest song called Smoove

Leebo	Leebo said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
	8-8-8-8! Really glad you liked it, thanks for taking the time to review, it's much appreciated. Check out my latest song called Bang Bang

drakonis

drakonis said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)

Soo close to 10s!
Ooh, I like many things about this, the orchestration is
crisp, well-chosen, but slightly repetitive, maybe because
you have so much to say with the same repeated melody.
The lyrics were well-chosen (and touched a chord, been
there, done that, more or less.) Simple and effective.
Great singing, I loved the hinted malice when you speak
the words "I can't breathe" through gritted teeth. The
gothic style of emotive music can so easily teeter over to
melodrama, but you manage to hold back and avoid
sounding silly. Very well done! I could imagine this
getting woven into a musical... now you need a femme
fatale to sing the female part of this. 8-9-8-9
ttfn,
Drakonis

Check out my latest song called Lullaby for the Inner Child

Leebo	Leebo said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
	Soo close to 10s! Thanks Drakonis for your kind review. Really glad you enjoyed it...if you of any femme fatale types that might want to lend their lungs for the part you mentioned... Check out my latest song called Bang Bang

drakonis	drakonis said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
	fade? Much as I hate fade-outs, the coda at the end almost calls for your voice to get farther away as you count off the hours, as you leave her in your taillights? Just a thought. -Drakonis --- deja vu, it's the next best thing to being there Check out my latest song called Lullaby for the Inner Child

Peter Greenstone

Peter Greenstone said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)

fade not
I would have to disagree on the fade-out. Maybe if the countdown part had
been a verse that had already been repeated a couple of times earlier in the
song (which I'm not recommending) so we were already quite familiar with
the lines. But I think that it is key that we hear those lines up close,
particularly on the very last line. If anything, I'd say bring those last lines in
closer and more intimate at the end. I like it the way it is though.

Check out my latest song called From Nothing

Cameron

Cameron said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)

excellent orchestration
This tune grabbed me right from the start with the catchy,
imaginative rhythm in the strings. Then it built up nicely
from there, with the gradual addition of instruments. I
particularly like your use of percussion. The marimba and
the church bells are a very nice touch.

You have a pleasant voice, good vocal quality and
intonation. The lyrics tell an intense story -- somehow the
two didn't quite blend. But maybe you were going for a
juxtaposition of styles? Sort of a sweet, mellow vocal
delivery combined with the more intense lyrics?

Very imaginative use of orchestral instruments!

I would have liked to have heard a longer instrumental
break between the second and third stanzas, to offer
more contrast.

The coda was an interesting departure from the earlier
musical material.

Overall, this is a very good track, especially in its
orchestration. Bravo!

Fav'd and downloaded.

Check out my latest song called EPONYM

Leebo	Leebo said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
	excellent orchestration High praise indeed from such an accomplished musician, thank you very much for your comments. I'm afraid I'm not very well musically schooled, (self-taught) so I'll have to look up the term 'Stanza'...but I'll be sure to take your comments on board. Thanks once again. Check out my latest song called Bang Bang

Leebo	Leebo said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
	excellent orchestration Forgot to add that you were right on the nose when you mentioned the juxtaposition between the singing style and the material...I wanted to sound quietly determined, but not angry, except in the part where the mask falls in during the line "the way you bullsh*t and spread your lies and poison words". Thanks once again Cameron. Check out my latest song called Bang Bang

Jim Bouchard	Jim Bouchard said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
	Interesting... inspiring way to use the orchestra. Good job! Check out my latest song called Weather or Not w/awigze

Musohead	Musohead said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
	Totally Kool> Great how the Orchestra keeps the time for your singing, before the drums come in. Crazy Kool piece! Check out my latest song called IceyHot

Peter Greenstone	Peter Greenstone said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
	You got it! Now those vocals sound great and go with the acoustics of the music. I love it! Now, for the next step: I think a female backing vocal in places would fill it out more and play on the relationship between man and woman. Check out my latest song called From Nothing

	said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
	Excellent... presentation of a song here. I have no critique or complaint. The song is fantastic. I'd stick a fork in it and call it done.

	said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
	Yes Took about 3/4 of a stanza to say "yes" to this song. Then it got even better. Nice ebb and flow to both instrumentation and voice. Pathos pouring into my auditory canals. This song is sure to clamp down on many, many hearts. Publish it! It's pro. Love those bells and strings. Wow.

Leebo	Leebo said 1724 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
	Yes Thanks so much, glad you like my stuff. Check out my latest song called Bang Bang

Cantor

Cantor said 1725 days ago (March 7th, 2005)

original!
one of the more original things around here! sounds like
yer using the hell out of jampack 4... how'd you have the
patience to load those sounds? drives me up a wall, and
my machine is 1.5 gHz! in any case, i like the driving
nature of this piece... might have liked to hear a little
more development of the verse's melodic section...
sometimes the groove drives a bit too much in the same
groove... but the hook is very cool and gives the necessary
break. reminds me a little of XTC at times, no? wtg! 8-8
-8-8

Check out my latest song called You Shall Love the Eternal God

Myshkin	Myshkin said 1724 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
	Moody Great use of the Orchestra Instruments. Sounding very Lloyd Cole! Well done. Check out my latest song called Iceland

Ivahn	Ivahn said 1724 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
	9-9-9-9 I am very impressed, this is one of my favorite songs here on macjams. Amazing orchestration and songwriting, wonderful emotional vocals and lyrics you can relate to. What else does a song need? Check out my latest song called Shadows of Our Forgotten Ancestors

	said 1724 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
	Bravo Excellent tune, story, orchestration and vocals. One quibble - wouldn't that be 1 AM at Mr. Chow's ?

Leebo	Leebo said 1724 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
	Bravo Gahhhh! You're right, damn it! Unless of course I fell into a twelve hour drunken stupor before I got to Mr Chow's...no that's not true. Now I'll have to change it. Well done for spotting that and thanks! Check out my latest song called Bang Bang

Tom Atwood

Tom Atwood said 1724 days ago (March 8th, 2005)

Time check
I guess it should be 12 AM too. You have done very well, and have
obviously
touched a lot of chords among listeners here. As I said on your original
posting, this song has an 'epic' feel to it, reminiscent in some ways of
MacArthur's Park. I'm just not sure this is an epic topic? But then again, I am
not your target audience. And I do recall, somewhere in my fading memory,
how momumental breaking up can seem.

I agree with Peter that this song would be helped tremendously by including a
female voice in the verse labeled "HER." I heard the original version early,
before you labeled the verses, and I was confused by that verse, not knowing
it was written in her words.

Still, this is a triumphant effort in terms of writing, orchestration, production,
vocals and creativity. And a nice ending, no matter what time it is.

Check out my latest song called Keep Looking for Jesus (MJRF)

TobinMueller

TobinMueller said 1724 days ago (March 8th, 2005)

More sweet, nothing sour
Wonderfully epic arrangement... you give the impression
of reliving the entire relationship with all the patience and
melodrama you apply to the song, well done. I agree with
pgreenstone that the idea of a coda fade is not the right
direction, mainly becuz that last line is my favorite in the
whole track and has to be a tag that sits alone, just as you
did it. Perhaps the arrangement starts off too thick at the
top of your coda and the subsequent repeats-variations
don't have enough room to build-change; but the idea of
building into your last isolated line is much more effective
than a fade. Again, really nice track.

Check out my latest song called Forge A New Life (MJRF)

aclarke	aclarke said 1724 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
	A Masterpiece This is really a stimulating work... very well done. Excellent use of your voice to get the emotion of the song through... as you described "quietly determined, but not angry". This was particularly evident in the line "Cos I can't breathe". Remarkable! Check out my latest song called Ballad of The Little Tiki

Iseae

Iseae said 1722 days ago (March 10th, 2005)

Kudos
I'm going to have to get my hands on Symphony
Orchestra, sounds too good. You have such interesting
percussion, so slick, is that SO instruments too? I loved
the "I can't breath" section, so moving. Just by looking at
the lyrics I thought this song was going to feel a little
scattered, without the traditional verse/chorus layout, but
you pulled it off very well. Kudos!

Check out my latest song called Vickys Song

BlackLily	BlackLily said 1722 days ago (March 10th, 2005)
	this is really really long i gave all 9's but it should be shorter. Perhaps cut into chapters or movements like a classical piece. It takes the scaryness of 'the epic' out of the epic. However that is just a production decision I would make. Other than that its a wonderful event. Check out my latest song called Barbie's Letter

packosmokes

packosmokes said 1721 days ago (March 11th, 2005)

Like old John Barry
Reminds me of James Bond... in a strange way, the lyrics
semi-work for the lonely life of a Secret Agent, heh!
Although, I don't wish to sound like I'm stepping on your
content.

Love the little woodblocky sounds happening in there and
the pumpy horns, some of the best horns I've heard so
far. I also love the chord change at the end, the ominous
flavor transitioning to the discovery of salvation, complete
with church bells! Wonderful!

Are those JP4 samples or Instruments? I might be inclined
to get my paws on that... providing they work for LE7,
heh!

Check out my latest song called With You

EdensEve	EdensEve said 1680 days ago (April 21st, 2005)
	The real deal You have a great voice and an equally great sense of pop style, keeping a unique sound that rises above. This song is so well shaped. You are a real talent.

revrendmaynard	revrendmaynard said 1649 days ago (May 22nd, 2005)
	Supacool Nice tune. Orchestra tracks were well chosen and match your singing very well. I like concept here, and the way you sing the song. Check out my latest song called The Speedo Song (Revisited)

thetiler	thetiler said 1599 days ago (July 11th, 2005)
	you are quite a talent I was listeing to your top rated tune, and was just amazed. And this one is cool too. Thanks for sharing Check out my latest song called I't Been A While

damiengh	damiengh said 416 days ago (October 6th, 2008)
	no drama Just bloody talent! Glad I did not miss this one. The lyrics and music just fantastic. Some past pain certainly helped to mold this baby. Whew...probably took awhile and some courage to move on and away from this poisonous partner. Love your talent. Check out my latest song called Tea and Scones

davisamerica	davisamerica said 231 days ago (April 9th, 2009)
	many thanks to jgurner for pointing me here ... Amazing work on this. Such attention to details and a rock solid tune ... wow! Check out my latest song called No Son(egobandit band)

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Artist Info

Name: Lee

HI! What are you supposed to write in this box? Sh*t about me I suppose. Okay, here goes...for the last ten years I've made my living as a comedy writer based in the UK. Done radio, a LOT of greeting cards captions / gags / poems, and am now cur... [see more]

Check out some of my other songs:

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