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The Ballad Of A Breakup by Leebo [Email]
Genre: Other

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SONG STATS:
Hits: 13883
Comments: 30
Votes: 28
Plays: 3579
Last Played: Nov 15, 2008 - 04:20:15 AM
Downloads: 167
Fans: 13
Uploaded: Mar 07, 2005 - 09:27:09 AM
Last Updated: Mar 07, 2005 - 07:40:59 AM
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Description:
2nd upload of this song...other macjammers confirmed my concerns that the vocals were a bit muddy, (I'm using a different mic), so I cleaned the vocals up and re-uploaded.
The song is a bit of a an epic, about a failed relationship and the journey back home to be with friends.
No loops were used.
Hope you like!

Lee

Lyrics:
Don’t ask me why
You must know the reason
I won’t explain
Why bother try?
And if I stay
I’d be just deceiving,
Or would you prefer
To live a lie?

Cos I can’t breathe
Everytime I look at you
Cos I can’t breathe
All those little things you do
Cos I can’t breathe
The way you eat your food and talk too loud
No I can’t breathe
It seems that two’s become a crowd

Like the baby bird
That fell from the branches
Like the priest
Who fell from grace
What’s done is done
There are no easy answers
So let this be
Our last embrace

Cos I can’t breathe
Everytime I look at you
Cos I can’t breathe
All those little things you do
Cos I can’t breathe
The way you bullshit and spread your lies and poison words
No I can’t breathe
Wipe those plastic tears from your eyes

(HER)
Give me a reason
Lets talk about it
Please don’t leave me
Let’s talk about it
You know I love you
I always think of you
Each day
I’ll change if you let me
Let’s talk about it
This can work
Let’s talk about it
I can’t live without you
I can’t live without you
No way
And if I can’t have you
You know I’ll make you pay

coda
Five PM and I’m on the train
Cross country in the pouring rain
Six PM and I’m on the street
Concrete nostalgia beneath my feet
7 PM and I’m with my friends
The ones on who I can depend
8 PM and I’m in a car
9 PM and I’m in a bar
10 PM and I’m off my face
11PM on a vodka chase
12 pm and I’m happy now
1 PM in Mr Chows

Sweet And Sour for one.



Hardware:
eMac

Software:
GB2, Jampack Symphony Orchesta
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8-8-8-8! &mdash 03/07/05 - 09:39:29 AM
I didn't hear the original, but I think this is very good. I downloaded it. Good use of classical building and crescendos to illustrate different feelings and emotions!

Looking forward to hearing more of your music.

[ Reply to This ]
8-8-8-8! &mdash 03/07/05 - 11:45:15 AM
Really glad you liked it, thanks for taking the time to review, it's much
appreciated.

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Soo close to 10s! &mdash 03/07/05 - 10:20:31 AM
Ooh, I like many things about this, the orchestration is
crisp, well-chosen, but slightly repetitive, maybe because
you have so much to say with the same repeated melody.
The lyrics were well-chosen (and touched a chord, been
there, done that, more or less.) Simple and effective.
Great singing, I loved the hinted malice when you speak
the words "I can't breathe" through gritted teeth. The
gothic style of emotive music can so easily teeter over to
melodrama, but you manage to hold back and avoid
sounding silly. Very well done! I could imagine this
getting woven into a musical... now you need a femme
fatale to sing the female part of this. 8-9-8-9
ttfn,
Drakonis

[ Reply to This ]
Soo close to 10s! &mdash 03/07/05 - 11:43:23 AM
Thanks Drakonis for your kind review. Really glad you enjoyed it...if you of
any femme fatale types that might want to lend their lungs for the part you
mentioned...

[ Reply to This ]
fade? &mdash 03/07/05 - 03:31:40 PM
Much as I hate fade-outs, the coda at the end almost calls for your voice to
get farther away as you count off the hours, as you leave her in your
taillights? Just a thought.
-Drakonis

---
deja vu, it's the next best thing to being there

[ Reply to This ]
fade not &mdash 03/07/05 - 05:07:47 PM
I would have to disagree on the fade-out. Maybe if the countdown part had
been a verse that had already been repeated a couple of times earlier in the
song (which I'm not recommending) so we were already quite familiar with
the lines. But I think that it is key that we hear those lines up close,
particularly on the very last line. If anything, I'd say bring those last lines in
closer and more intimate at the end. I like it the way it is though.

[ Reply to This ]
excellent orchestration &mdash 03/07/05 - 11:15:21 AM
This tune grabbed me right from the start with the catchy,
imaginative rhythm in the strings. Then it built up nicely
from there, with the gradual addition of instruments. I
particularly like your use of percussion. The marimba and
the church bells are a very nice touch.

You have a pleasant voice, good vocal quality and
intonation. The lyrics tell an intense story -- somehow the
two didn't quite blend. But maybe you were going for a
juxtaposition of styles? Sort of a sweet, mellow vocal
delivery combined with the more intense lyrics?

Very imaginative use of orchestral instruments!

I would have liked to have heard a longer instrumental
break between the second and third stanzas, to offer
more contrast.

The coda was an interesting departure from the earlier
musical material.

Overall, this is a very good track, especially in its
orchestration. Bravo!

Fav'd and downloaded.

[ Reply to This ]
excellent orchestration &mdash 03/07/05 - 11:37:05 AM
High praise indeed from such an accomplished musician, thank you very
much for your comments. I'm afraid I'm not very well musically schooled,
(self-taught) so I'll have to look up the term 'Stanza'...but I'll be sure to take
your comments on board.
Thanks once again.

[ Reply to This ]
excellent orchestration &mdash 03/07/05 - 11:40:58 AM
Forgot to add that you were right on the nose when you mentioned the
juxtaposition between the singing style and the material...I wanted to sound
quietly determined, but not angry, except in the part where the mask falls in
during the line "the way you bullsh*t and spread your lies and poison words".
Thanks once again Cameron.

[ Reply to This ]
Interesting... &mdash 03/07/05 - 12:34:04 PM
inspiring way to use the orchestra. Good job!

[ Reply to This ]
Totally Kool> &mdash 03/07/05 - 02:38:20 PM
Great how the Orchestra keeps the time for your singing,
before the drums come in. Crazy Kool piece!

[ Reply to This ]
You got it! &mdash 03/07/05 - 03:01:49 PM
Now those vocals sound great and go with the acoustics
of the music. I love it! Now, for the next step: I think a
female backing vocal in places would fill it out more and
play on the relationship between man and woman.

[ Reply to This ]
Excellent... &mdash 03/07/05 - 04:02:20 PM
presentation of a song here. I have no critique or complaint. The song is fantastic. I'd stick a fork in it and call it done.

[ Reply to This ]
Yes &mdash 03/07/05 - 05:31:54 PM
Took about 3/4 of a stanza to say "yes" to this song. Then
it got even better. Nice ebb and flow to both
instrumentation and voice. Pathos pouring into my
auditory canals. This song is sure to clamp down on
many, many hearts. Publish it! It's pro. Love those bells
and strings. Wow.

[ Reply to This ]
Yes &mdash 03/08/05 - 05:25:42 AM
Thanks so much, glad you like my stuff.

[ Reply to This ]
original! &mdash 03/07/05 - 09:18:11 PM
one of the more original things around here! sounds like
yer using the hell out of jampack 4... how'd you have the
patience to load those sounds? drives me up a wall, and
my machine is 1.5 gHz! in any case, i like the driving
nature of this piece... might have liked to hear a little
more development of the verse's melodic section...
sometimes the groove drives a bit too much in the same
groove... but the hook is very cool and gives the necessary
break. reminds me a little of XTC at times, no? wtg! 8-8
-8-8

[ Reply to This ]
Moody &mdash 03/07/05 - 11:42:42 PM
Great use of the Orchestra Instruments. Sounding very Lloyd Cole! Well done.

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9-9-9-9 &mdash 03/08/05 - 03:04:02 AM
I am very impressed, this is one of my favorite songs here
on macjams. Amazing orchestration and songwriting,
wonderful emotional vocals and lyrics you can relate to.
What else does a song need?



[ Reply to This ]
Bravo &mdash 03/08/05 - 05:03:13 AM
Excellent tune, story, orchestration and vocals.
One quibble - wouldn't that be 1 AM at Mr.
Chow's ?

[ Reply to This ]
Bravo &mdash 03/08/05 - 05:23:02 AM
Gahhhh!
You're right, damn it! Unless of course I fell into a twelve hour drunken stupor
before I got to Mr Chow's...no that's not true. Now I'll have to change it.
Well done for spotting that and thanks!



[ Reply to This ]
Time check &mdash 03/08/05 - 06:58:29 AM
I guess it should be 12 AM too. You have done very well, and have
obviously
touched a lot of chords among listeners here. As I said on your original
posting, this song has an 'epic' feel to it, reminiscent in some ways of
MacArthur's Park. I'm just not sure this is an epic topic? But then again, I am
not your target audience. And I do recall, somewhere in my fading memory,
how momumental breaking up can seem.

I agree with Peter that this song would be helped tremendously by including a
female voice in the verse labeled "HER." I heard the original version early,
before you labeled the verses, and I was confused by that verse, not knowing
it was written in her words.

Still, this is a triumphant effort in terms of writing, orchestration, production,
vocals and creativity. And a nice ending, no matter what time it is.

[ Reply to This ]
More sweet, nothing sour &mdash 03/08/05 - 09:15:52 AM
Wonderfully epic arrangement... you give the impression
of reliving the entire relationship with all the patience and
melodrama you apply to the song, well done. I agree with
pgreenstone that the idea of a coda fade is not the right
direction, mainly becuz that last line is my favorite in the
whole track and has to be a tag that sits alone, just as you
did it. Perhaps the arrangement starts off too thick at the
top of your coda and the subsequent repeats-variations
don't have enough room to build-change; but the idea of
building into your last isolated line is much more effective
than a fade. Again, really nice track.

[ Reply to This ]
A Masterpiece &mdash 03/08/05 - 08:31:18 PM
This is really a stimulating work... very well done.
Excellent use of your voice to get the emotion of the song
through... as you described "quietly determined, but not
angry". This was particularly evident in the line "Cos I can't
breathe". Remarkable!

[ Reply to This ]
Kudos &mdash 03/10/05 - 07:13:57 PM
I'm going to have to get my hands on Symphony
Orchestra, sounds too good. You have such interesting
percussion, so slick, is that SO instruments too? I loved
the "I can't breath" section, so moving. Just by looking at
the lyrics I thought this song was going to feel a little
scattered, without the traditional verse/chorus layout, but
you pulled it off very well. Kudos!

[ Reply to This ]
this is really really long &mdash 03/10/05 - 09:27:55 PM
i gave all 9's but it should be shorter. Perhaps cut into
chapters or movements like a classical piece. It takes the
scaryness of 'the epic' out of the epic. However that is just
a production decision I would make. Other than that its a
wonderful event.

[ Reply to This ]
Like old John Barry &mdash 03/11/05 - 01:29:51 PM
Reminds me of James Bond... in a strange way, the lyrics
semi-work for the lonely life of a Secret Agent, heh!
Although, I don't wish to sound like I'm stepping on your
content.

Love the little woodblocky sounds happening in there and
the pumpy horns, some of the best horns I've heard so
far. I also love the chord change at the end, the ominous
flavor transitioning to the discovery of salvation, complete
with church bells! Wonderful!

Are those JP4 samples or Instruments? I might be inclined
to get my paws on that... providing they work for LE7,
heh!



[ Reply to This ]
The real deal &mdash 04/21/05 - 07:04:45 AM
You have a great voice and an equally great sense of pop
style, keeping a unique sound that rises above. This song
is so well shaped. You are a real talent.

[ Reply to This ]
Supacool &mdash 05/22/05 - 03:02:10 AM
Nice tune. Orchestra tracks were well chosen and match your
singing very well. I like concept here, and the way you sing
the song.

[ Reply to This ]
you are quite a talent &mdash 07/11/05 - 10:48:07 PM
I was listeing to your top rated tune, and was just amazed.
And this one is cool too.

Thanks for sharing

[ Reply to This ]
no drama &mdash 10/06/08 - 09:14:56 AM
Just bloody talent!

Glad I did not miss this one. The lyrics and music just fantastic.
Some past pain certainly helped to mold this baby. Whew...probably took awhile and some courage to move on and away from this poisonous partner.

Love your talent.



[ Reply to This ]
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