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The Ballad Of A Breakup


by

Leebo

 Genre: Other

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Description
2nd upload of this song...other macjammers confirmed my concerns that the vocals were a bit muddy, (I'm using a different mic), so I cleaned the vocals up and re-uploaded.
The song is a bit of a an epic, about a failed relationship and the journey back home to be with friends.
No loops were used.
Hope you like!

Lee
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Lyrics
Don’t ask me why
You must know the reason
I won’t explain
Why bother try?
And if I stay
I’d be just deceiving,
Or would you prefer
To live a lie?

Cos I can’t breathe
Everytime I look at you
Cos I can’t breathe
All those little things you do
Cos I can’t breathe
The way you eat your food and talk too loud
No I can’t breathe
It seems that two’s become a crowd

Like the baby bird
That fell from the branches
Like the priest
Who fell from grace
What’s done is done
There are no easy answers
So let this be
Our last embrace

Cos I can’t breathe
Everytime I look at you
Cos I can’t breathe
All those little things you do
Cos I can’t breathe
The way you bullshit and spread your lies and poison words
No I can’t breathe
Wipe those plastic tears from your eyes

(HER)
Give me a reason
Lets talk about it
Please don’t leave me
Let’s talk about it
You know I love you
I always think of you
Each day
I’ll change if you let me
Let’s talk about it
This can work
Let’s talk about it
I can’t live without you
I can’t live without you
No way
And if I can’t have you
You know I’ll make you pay

coda
Five PM and I’m on the train
Cross country in the pouring rain
Six PM and I’m on the street
Concrete nostalgia beneath my feet
7 PM and I’m with my friends
The ones on who I can depend
8 PM and I’m in a car
9 PM and I’m in a bar
10 PM and I’m off my face
11PM on a vodka chase
12 pm and I’m happy now
1 PM in Mr Chows

Sweet And Sour for one.

Song Stats
Hits: 17208
Comments: 31
Fans: 14
Plays: 3671
Downloads: 266
Votes: 28
Uploaded: Mar 07, 2005 - 09:27:09 AM
Last Updated: Mar 07, 2005 - 07:40:59 AM Last Played: Apr 10, 2017 - 10:46:50 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
eMac
Software:
GB2, Jampack Symphony Orchesta
Comments
Kevensor said 4548 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
8-8-8-8!
I didn't hear the original, but I think this is very good. I downloaded it. Good use of classical building and crescendos to illustrate different feelings and emotions!

Looking forward to hearing more of your music.
Check out my latest song called Broken Hearted - Redux
Leebo said 4548 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
8-8-8-8!
Really glad you liked it, thanks for taking the time to review, it's much
appreciated.
Check out my latest song called Bang Bang
drakonis said 4548 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
Soo close to 10s!
Ooh, I like many things about this, the orchestration is
crisp, well-chosen, but slightly repetitive, maybe because
you have so much to say with the same repeated melody.
The lyrics were well-chosen (and touched a chord, been
there, done that, more or less.) Simple and effective.
Great singing, I loved the hinted malice when you speak
the words "I can't breathe" through gritted teeth. The
gothic style of emotive music can so easily teeter over to
melodrama, but you manage to hold back and avoid
sounding silly. Very well done! I could imagine this
getting woven into a musical... now you need a femme
fatale to sing the female part of this. 8-9-8-9
ttfn,
Drakonis
Check out my latest song called Miwok
Leebo said 4548 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
Soo close to 10s!
Thanks Drakonis for your kind review. Really glad you enjoyed it...if you of
any femme fatale types that might want to lend their lungs for the part you
mentioned...
Check out my latest song called Bang Bang
drakonis said 4547 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
fade?
Much as I hate fade-outs, the coda at the end almost calls for your voice to
get farther away as you count off the hours, as you leave her in your
taillights? Just a thought.
-Drakonis

---
deja vu, it's the next best thing to being there
Check out my latest song called Miwok
Peter Greenstone said 4547 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
fade not
I would have to disagree on the fade-out. Maybe if the countdown part had
been a verse that had already been repeated a couple of times earlier in the
song (which I'm not recommending) so we were already quite familiar with
the lines. But I think that it is key that we hear those lines up close,
particularly on the very last line. If anything, I'd say bring those last lines in
closer and more intimate at the end. I like it the way it is though.
Check out my latest song called Iridium Flare (2013 Re-Release)
Cameron said 4548 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
excellent orchestration
This tune grabbed me right from the start with the catchy,
imaginative rhythm in the strings. Then it built up nicely
from there, with the gradual addition of instruments. I
particularly like your use of percussion. The marimba and
the church bells are a very nice touch.

You have a pleasant voice, good vocal quality and
intonation. The lyrics tell an intense story -- somehow the
two didn't quite blend. But maybe you were going for a
juxtaposition of styles? Sort of a sweet, mellow vocal
delivery combined with the more intense lyrics?

Very imaginative use of orchestral instruments!

I would have liked to have heard a longer instrumental
break between the second and third stanzas, to offer
more contrast.

The coda was an interesting departure from the earlier
musical material.

Overall, this is a very good track, especially in its
orchestration. Bravo!

Fav'd and downloaded.
Check out my latest song called Trio for Horn, Violin & Piano
Leebo said 4548 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
excellent orchestration
High praise indeed from such an accomplished musician, thank you very
much for your comments. I'm afraid I'm not very well musically schooled,
(self-taught) so I'll have to look up the term 'Stanza'...but I'll be sure to take
your comments on board.
Thanks once again.
Check out my latest song called Bang Bang
Leebo said 4548 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
excellent orchestration
Forgot to add that you were right on the nose when you mentioned the
juxtaposition between the singing style and the material...I wanted to sound
quietly determined, but not angry, except in the part where the mask falls in
during the line "the way you bullsh*t and spread your lies and poison words".
Thanks once again Cameron.
Check out my latest song called Bang Bang
Jim Bouchard said 4548 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
Interesting...
inspiring way to use the orchestra. Good job!
Check out my latest song called Big Yawn (Apogee One mic demo)
Musohead said 4548 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
Totally Kool>
Great how the Orchestra keeps the time for your singing,
before the drums come in. Crazy Kool piece!
Check out my latest song called IceyHot
Peter Greenstone said 4548 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
You got it!
Now those vocals sound great and go with the acoustics
of the music. I love it! Now, for the next step: I think a
female backing vocal in places would fill it out more and
play on the relationship between man and woman.
Check out my latest song called Iridium Flare (2013 Re-Release)
said 4547 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
Excellent...
presentation of a song here. I have no critique or complaint. The song is fantastic. I'd stick a fork in it and call it done.
said 4547 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
Yes
Took about 3/4 of a stanza to say "yes" to this song. Then
it got even better. Nice ebb and flow to both
instrumentation and voice. Pathos pouring into my
auditory canals. This song is sure to clamp down on
many, many hearts. Publish it! It's pro. Love those bells
and strings. Wow.
Leebo said 4547 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
Yes
Thanks so much, glad you like my stuff.
Check out my latest song called Bang Bang
Cantor said 4547 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
original!
one of the more original things around here! sounds like
yer using the hell out of jampack 4... how'd you have the
patience to load those sounds? drives me up a wall, and
my machine is 1.5 gHz! in any case, i like the driving
nature of this piece... might have liked to hear a little
more development of the verse's melodic section...
sometimes the groove drives a bit too much in the same
groove... but the hook is very cool and gives the necessary
break. reminds me a little of XTC at times, no? wtg! 8-8
-8-8
Check out my latest song called Modim Anakhnu Lakh
Myshkin said 4547 days ago (March 7th, 2005)
Moody
Great use of the Orchestra Instruments. Sounding very Lloyd Cole! Well done.
Check out my latest song called Plumb Locomotion
Ivahn said 4547 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
9-9-9-9
I am very impressed, this is one of my favorite songs here
on macjams. Amazing orchestration and songwriting,
wonderful emotional vocals and lyrics you can relate to.
What else does a song need?


Check out my latest song called Shadows of Our Forgotten Ancestors
said 4547 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
Bravo
Excellent tune, story, orchestration and vocals.
One quibble - wouldn't that be 1 AM at Mr.
Chow's ?
Leebo said 4547 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
Bravo
Gahhhh!
You're right, damn it! Unless of course I fell into a twelve hour drunken stupor
before I got to Mr Chow's...no that's not true. Now I'll have to change it.
Well done for spotting that and thanks!


Check out my latest song called Bang Bang
Tom Atwood said 4547 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
Time check
I guess it should be 12 AM too. You have done very well, and have
obviously
touched a lot of chords among listeners here. As I said on your original
posting, this song has an 'epic' feel to it, reminiscent in some ways of
MacArthur's Park. I'm just not sure this is an epic topic? But then again, I am
not your target audience. And I do recall, somewhere in my fading memory,
how momumental breaking up can seem.

I agree with Peter that this song would be helped tremendously by including a
female voice in the verse labeled "HER." I heard the original version early,
before you labeled the verses, and I was confused by that verse, not knowing
it was written in her words.

Still, this is a triumphant effort in terms of writing, orchestration, production,
vocals and creativity. And a nice ending, no matter what time it is.
Check out my latest song called Vanishing Pezzicato
TobinMueller said 4547 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
More sweet, nothing sour
Wonderfully epic arrangement... you give the impression
of reliving the entire relationship with all the patience and
melodrama you apply to the song, well done. I agree with
pgreenstone that the idea of a coda fade is not the right
direction, mainly becuz that last line is my favorite in the
whole track and has to be a tag that sits alone, just as you
did it. Perhaps the arrangement starts off too thick at the
top of your coda and the subsequent repeats-variations
don't have enough room to build-change; but the idea of
building into your last isolated line is much more effective
than a fade. Again, really nice track.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
aclarke said 4546 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
A Masterpiece
This is really a stimulating work... very well done.
Excellent use of your voice to get the emotion of the song
through... as you described "quietly determined, but not
angry". This was particularly evident in the line "Cos I can't
breathe". Remarkable!
Check out my latest song called Right on Time 2014- feat. David McNair
Iseae said 4544 days ago (March 10th, 2005)
Kudos
I'm going to have to get my hands on Symphony
Orchestra, sounds too good. You have such interesting
percussion, so slick, is that SO instruments too? I loved
the "I can't breath" section, so moving. Just by looking at
the lyrics I thought this song was going to feel a little
scattered, without the traditional verse/chorus layout, but
you pulled it off very well. Kudos!
Check out my latest song called Vickys Song
BlackLily said 4544 days ago (March 10th, 2005)
this is really really long
i gave all 9's but it should be shorter. Perhaps cut into
chapters or movements like a classical piece. It takes the
scaryness of 'the epic' out of the epic. However that is just
a production decision I would make. Other than that its a
wonderful event.
Check out my latest song called Barbie's Letter
packosmokes said 4544 days ago (March 11th, 2005)
Like old John Barry
Reminds me of James Bond... in a strange way, the lyrics
semi-work for the lonely life of a Secret Agent, heh!
Although, I don't wish to sound like I'm stepping on your
content.

Love the little woodblocky sounds happening in there and
the pumpy horns, some of the best horns I've heard so
far. I also love the chord change at the end, the ominous
flavor transitioning to the discovery of salvation, complete
with church bells! Wonderful!

Are those JP4 samples or Instruments? I might be inclined
to get my paws on that... providing they work for LE7,
heh!


Check out my latest song called The Future
EdensEve said 4503 days ago (April 21st, 2005)
The real deal
You have a great voice and an equally great sense of pop
style, keeping a unique sound that rises above. This song
is so well shaped. You are a real talent.
revrendmaynard said 4472 days ago (May 22nd, 2005)
Supacool
Nice tune. Orchestra tracks were well chosen and match your
singing very well. I like concept here, and the way you sing
the song.
Check out my latest song called The Speedo Song (Revisited)
thetiler said 4421 days ago (July 11th, 2005)
you are quite a talent
I was listeing to your top rated tune, and was just amazed.
And this one is cool too.

Thanks for sharing
Check out my latest song called They Went Underground
damiengh said 3239 days ago (October 6th, 2008)
no drama
Just bloody talent!

Glad I did not miss this one. The lyrics and music just fantastic.
Some past pain certainly helped to mold this baby. Whew...probably took awhile and some courage to move on and away from this poisonous partner.

Love your talent.


Check out my latest song called Tea and Scones
davisamerica said 3054 days ago (April 9th, 2009)
many thanks to jgurner
for pointing me here ... Amazing work on this. Such attention to details and a rock solid tune ... wow!
Check out my latest song called ok char2(Vic and Flatrock mix)
Artist Info
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Name: Lee
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HI! What are you supposed to write in this box? Sh*t about me I suppose. Okay, here goes...for the last ten years I've made my living as a comedy writer based in the UK. Done radio, a LOT of greeting cards captions / gags / poems, and am now cur... [see more]

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