My only criticism is with the production. Tiler's guitar
sounds compressed & tinny, almost like he's in another
room. I heard the original instrumental and it sounded
much richer, more present. Also, your voice is so pure and
clear, I'm not sure if you need quite so much reverb,
although it does add to the dreamy quality of this flowing
piece.

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I concur with Tom A. as far as production values. Emily's
voice comes in too "hot" initially, then nicely nestles into
the ambience of the guitar bed. Overall, too much reverb
which makes it hard to understand the good words
being sung. In fact, sometimes the flanking harmony
voices are crisper than the centered lead voice. I suggest
duping the lead vocal and setting one instance to no
reverb and the other instance to 40-50% reverb. Ask Tiler
for his un-reverbed guitar track. You can also do the same
track duping with the guitar track. This method provides
both immediacy and chamber-sized ambience. Your final
unifying step is to bring it all into the same
soundspace by adding some reverb globally on the Master
Track. Try Classical Hall, Warm Classical or Club Master
presets. Do not use any of the Ambient master track
presets. Be careful of too much accumulated compression
(as Atwood pointed out).

The lyrics are wonderful! The smoke and mirrors theme,
for me, harkens back to Plato's "Allegory of the Cave"
where those in bondage see and hear only the shadows
and echoes of real objects which they are constrained
from seeing directly. These prisoners mistake
appearances for reality.

Tiler, your guitar playing is magnificent. You create some
very rich, harmonic and moving passages in this piece. I
love your chord progressions. Emily, you have done a
fantastic job of applying your writing skills and beautiful
voice to Tiler's instrumental composition -- not an easy
task when the musical foundation is already set.

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Thanks for your comments. Wow, Plato...what a great analogy.
I understand your production comments. This is my first ever attempt at
using Garageband. I'm still figuring it all out... I had a hard time getting my
outside microphone to work well with my powerbook at first, and I think I
finally got it when I recorded the backup vocals (hence the better sound in the
harmonies). All the production inticacies are things I need to learn, so thanks
for your advice so far!

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I know production is cross I have to bear.

I till trying to learn more. I came in here as a guitar player, I just didn't realize
how hard it is to prefect the craft as a recording engineer.
I am trying my best. I know it is still not good enough on my part.

I wonder if getting Logic Express will help?

I hear good things about it.





---
The Tiler

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Tiler: your guitar stuff is great. Just be sure when you are sending a guitar
part out for collaboration to cut back on the reverb. We've already talked
about that. I know it's hard to do that when you think you have the reverb just
right. You have to anticipate that more reverb will be added in when the other
person mixies it in with their stuff. Better to send two files: one that is un-
reverbed and a sample of how you'd like it to sound. I look forward to a
future remix. You have all the elements for a top-flight cut! I'd be happy to
help in any way you'd like. Logic Express may help the cause...but don't give
up on GarageBand quite yet.

---
Aspiration requires perspiration.
http://www.schletty.com/indwellings

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Emily, these lyrics are great. Excellent songwriting. The
content that comes from real life rings true; the differing
line length and use of unusual rhymes is compelling and
drives the piece; and the melodic phrasing reminds me of
Stephen Schwartz. Really well done. Very nice use of
counter melody too. I just wish the production was better;
it is very muffled and uneven. But the performances and
writing are superb.

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Thanks Tobin! Your compliments about the songwriting mean a lot coming
from you! And like I said a bit earlier, I know I have a lot to learn when it
comes to production. I appreciate any advice. Thanks!

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Thanks Tobin

I know I need to do more homework.

I hope it doesn't hurt too much in grading Emily's pretty
singing.

Thanks

---
The Tiler

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Knowledge and love are more important than fickle rankings. Know that we
love what you and Emily have done here.

---
Aspiration requires perspiration.
http://www.schletty.com/indwellings

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married to a great musical composition, and two great
performances. When Bill said he was getting someone
to write lyrics, I commented to be sure to get lyrics
worthy of this golden guitar piece.

He did. Kudos!

Jack

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Thanks so much!

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Thanks jack for the comments. They are appreciated.

---
The Tiler

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wow, guys...this is really good! emily, I think you've done an outstanding job with all of the writing and sweet job on the vox, ESPECIALLY the harmonies. I can relate to your mic issues. what kind of mic did you get w/ your powerbook?

tiler, your playing was dreamy as usual. what a nice collab. some of the guitar kinda reminds me of 'dust in the wind'. the only thing i didn't really dig was the synth part, it seemed the wrong sound, but in the right places


(?_?)
~



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Thanks for the compliments. I didn't like to sound of the built-in mic on my
powerbook, so I hooked up my professional mic with an adapter, which for
some reason was muffled until I played with some of the effects. I'm still
trying to finding a good balance, but I'm learning! Glad you like the song.

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Emily, I love your voice! (big surprise) It sounds great
here, and I love the harmonies/countermelodies you've
put in. For instrumentation, I think some of the synths
were a little bit too much, maybe not so appropriate for
the song - that comment goes to thetiler, but otherwise,
very nice.

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Good to hear from you, Daphne! Thanks for listening.

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Nice writing to go with nice playing - a wonderful collaborative effort! I agree it suffers because of the production values, but I expect that can be fixed in the computer. I like the twist at the end, where she herself turns into the "smoke and mirrors" she has been rebelling against - in effect, running away from running away.

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Oooh, thanks for noticing! I'm always self-concsious about my lyrics, so I'm
glad you enjoy them.

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The first thing this made me think of in the beginning was
"Suzanne" by Judy Collins, but it quickly went its own
lovely way. This is a great combination, your voice and
Tiler's guitar. The only part that didn't sound so good to
me was when the synth came in in the latter half on the
right; just too loud and piercing to my ears. Everything
else, great.

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Wow. What a great voice. Love the angelic tonal qualities.
Really sounds natural and effortless. Beautifully crafted
intelligent lyrics. Please lose the synth and make this just
Tiler's guitar and you. And yeah, I hear the production
issues. But this song has a solid foundation. And the
production problems can be fixed. Love the harmonies.
Thx for sharing Emily.

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There is some beautiful singing and guitar playing
here! However, I agree with pgreenstone and skipper
- the louder synth part later in the song was
distracting... and the type of synth sound that was
used sounded a little cheesy. The more subtle
"string-section" type synths used elsewhere seemed
to blend better and sounded OK to me...

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This is very, very good. A fantastic meldoy and a great
song. The quality here goes up all the time. Well done!

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excellent work.

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This song is great...loved it, Outstanding vocals. kind of
sounded like dog and butterflyish...Composition was
wonderful too. I would love if you could sing to one of my
pop tunes...

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Is there anything else to say? Loved the way you used the lyric smoke
and mirrors. Not wild about the synth but, overall I thought it was
really good. The chorus and verses liked each other and, imh, really
complimented one another--Great bit of songwriting, Emily. The tiler,
the man, the myth. You are all that and a bag of chips...love, kelli

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