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Steel Grip


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Description
I've been working on a story on and off for 3 years. I liked the concept, but it just didn't do what I hoped it would in storybook form. One day, Particle Dots asked if I was going to participate in the 2017 RPM Challenge, and immediately I knew that I would, whether I finished in time or not. I decided to treat my storybook idea as a song, and possibly an album. I knew it would help the rhythm of the lyrics and in fact it did improve the structure, and as I worked on it, it became an album. Thanks to a few MJ friends for the inspiration and the help on the songs to follow.

I'm posting these here for critical feedback so I can finish this album idea and then go back to the book and pull from the songs.

Thanks in advance and sorry for being away for so long.
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Lyrics
One Saturday morning
before the sunrise
while people were snoring
they heard his first cries

A bouncing boy baby
Born with a surprise
A mechanical arm
That was twice his size!

How could this happen?
How could this be?
A mechanical arm
where a real arm should be!

The doctors and nurses
Tried not to freak out
This birth was the strangest
Beyond any doubt!

His mother and father
Did not seem alarmed.
The baby was cooing
And they were quite charmed

His arm was tremendous,
So shiny and cold
And riveted, welded,
Wired and bold.


The Doctor was worried,
he said with a cough,
“This mechanical arm
has got to come off!”

The Doctor was EVIL,
he said with a scoff,
“This mechanical arm
has got to come off!”

His mother and father
Weren’t sure what to do
They panicked! They grabbed him,
and out the door flew!

“You won’t hurt out baby!
You won’t do him harm!”
So they rescued their
Boy with a mechanical arm.
Song Stats
Hits: 325
Comments: 24
Fans: 17
Plays: 38
Downloads: 6

Uploaded: Oct 19, 2017 - 07:20:51 PM
Last Updated: Oct 19, 2017 - 07:20:51 PM Last Played: Nov 03, 2017 - 06:43:42 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
Oxygen 8, Tapco Link.usb audio interface, tin can
Software:
GarageBand
Comments
Daugrin said 32 days ago (October 20th, 2017)
One-Five
Good to see you back in town.
Yer lyric is too bald :) you needed to give insight into what was going on...like mom stepping out with a strawberry picking machine, or artificial insemination via Dr. Octopus ala Marvel parody...
Thanks for posting your song here. The tonal percussion you wrote is wonderful, it supports the production perfectly by adding the creepy factor!

Daug
Check out my latest song called TCYB/U Got No Mind
five_extra_arms said 32 days ago (October 20th, 2017)
Bald
Hopefully the 10 remaining tunes fill in the blanks. I approached this in album form, so I want to spread it all out. We may never know "why" he was born with a mechanical arm, but hopefully we'll understand why he was born...

Thanks Daug Breath!
Check out my latest song called Metal On The Outside
smokey bacon jnr said 32 days ago (October 20th, 2017)
Steel pulse
Love that wub wub bassline. Great lyrics as ever. My only critique would be that there might be room for a diversion from the bass so that it comes back and you feel the power again. I was waiting for a sample of the Sab's Iron Man in there!!
Check out my latest song called Bassbump
five_extra_arms said 32 days ago (October 20th, 2017)
Wub Wub
Thanks for the feedback on the bassline. I've been dropping it and putting it back in several times, uncertain as to it's effect (or is it affect?). I'd like to know what others think as well.

I still don't see a play button on my iMac using Safari. Hope that's not the case for everyone else.
Check out my latest song called Metal On The Outside
awigze said 31 days ago (October 20th, 2017)
diggin'
... the crazy simplicity here. The vocals are cool and quirky. My baby boy, mechanical or no would've been out that doc's door too. Evil Docs.
Check out my latest song called Sometime Tomorrow
five_extra_arms said 31 days ago (October 21st, 2017)
Evil Docs
Thanks for the listen. I'm trying to be simple on this body of songs, although there are some insane crazy programming moments from Smokey VW that will blow minds!!
Check out my latest song called Metal On The Outside
Vic Holman said 31 days ago (October 20th, 2017)
gripping concept
long missed the 5 extra sound. cool dual vocals Bob. the composition is very cool in a gary numan way. pretty much has a robotic style that reflects the lyrics... so it works for me. great to hear a new one from you.
Check out my latest song called Mean Streets
five_extra_arms said 31 days ago (October 21st, 2017)
Robotic Style
Thanks Vic - everyone knows you're the head robot here. Thanks for listening. (Do you ever play that killer robot guitar you designed?)
Check out my latest song called Metal On The Outside
egobandit said 31 days ago (October 20th, 2017)
got me in its grip
that pulsing bass and bell sounding synth is now stuck in my head thanks a lot :)
cool concept now I need to know what happens next

Check out my latest song called rebuke the lie
five_extra_arms said 31 days ago (October 21st, 2017)
What Happens Next?
Thanks Tim - I flirted with a break on this track, but preferred the drone. Glad it stuck in your head. Happy belated birthday, by the way.
Check out my latest song called Metal On The Outside
bud said 31 days ago (October 20th, 2017)
Great as always
I love that icy lead line that comes in midway - reminds me of our arctic collab years back. Great that you're releasing these here - It was cool hearing them earlier in the year.
Check out my latest song called Oh Coast
five_extra_arms said 31 days ago (October 21st, 2017)
Icy Synth
You are so perceptive! Yes, indeed, this is the same icy lead I used on our Aurorarama tune! Thanks for the encouragement through the years.
Check out my latest song called Metal On The Outside
dimm witness said 31 days ago (October 21st, 2017)
Awesome!!
Cool
Check out my latest song called conflation
five_extra_arms said 31 days ago (October 21st, 2017)
Dimm
You're cool!
Check out my latest song called Metal On The Outside
VicDiesel said 31 days ago (October 21st, 2017)
Grip
This is very creative. All the elements work together really well.

Eh, except that strings in the far left channel during the vocals. On headphones I find its position distracting. Less extreme panning?
Check out my latest song called Black Recorder
five_extra_arms said 31 days ago (October 21st, 2017)
Less Extreme
Hey thanks for the listen - I am now officially distracted by the panning as well. I just brought it closer to center and I think it's a definite, yet subtle improvement. I appreciate it!
Check out my latest song called Metal On The Outside
Hickling_Stan said 30 days ago (October 22nd, 2017)
Interesting
This has a real Gary Numan vibe and an engaging/menacing story. very different to what I was just listening to. Love the variety of MJ! cheers
Mark
Check out my latest song called Song for Sons
five_extra_arms said 29 days ago (October 22nd, 2017)
Variety
Thanks for the listen Mark. Currently I can't listen to any songs? I might have to try a different computer and browser. Yeah, MacJams has quite the variety. I've always loved that about this place!
Check out my latest song called Metal On The Outside
particledots said 30 days ago (October 22nd, 2017)
is this one of the five
extra arms?
Check out my latest song called Ghosts of Spur Cross
five_extra_arms said 29 days ago (October 22nd, 2017)
Is This?
It is!
Check out my latest song called Metal On The Outside
J_Gretch said 29 days ago (October 22nd, 2017)
Steel Grip
Such a cool piece ! Had me at the first two lines. Just assuming you created the artwork also? Much enjoyed, thanks for sharing.
Check out my latest song called Only what you feel
five_extra_arms said 29 days ago (October 22nd, 2017)
One Saturday Morning...
Thanks! This is one one of the drawings from the original book idea. As the songwriting efforts have modified the story, I'm doing the say with the drawings. Hope to figure this all out before too much longer.
Check out my latest song called Metal On The Outside
PeterB7858 said 29 days ago (October 23rd, 2017)
Steel Grip
Quirky but disarmingly addictive. Probably just around the corner, too, medical wise... If only he could use his mechanical arm for the good of mankind! :-) Nice one. Thanks.
Check out my latest song called Losing You
kingbee said 27 days ago (October 25th, 2017)
limb-o-land
I went backwards in order of the songs
still good and great lyrics
maybe a bit of room for percussion drums build up in certain sections
great stuff anyway
cheers
Check out my latest song called No expense spared
Artist Info
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Name: Bob Dorsey
Location: Albuquerque NM USA
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Just your average guy with average songs about average subjects from average future worlds with average cyborgs ruling over average humans. The Amazing Musicians I've CLABBED with include His Boy Sherman: Donna Lavalamp: It Was A... [see more]

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