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His Panic


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Description
My Dad: German descent
My Mom: Korean descent
Me: Hispanic? not really, but that's what most folks think.
Spanish Blues lamenting the life-long case of mistaken ethnic identity.

Drums loops originated in GB then imported into ProTools LE where they were further editted and mangled and all other elements were also recorded and mixed.
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Lyrics
His Panic
©2005 Ray Kainz / MooShu Music

People say I’m Hispanic perhaps maybe I am
Though my dad’s from Deutschland and my mom’s she’s Korean
People say I’m Hispanic so therefore I must be
Though my mom’s she’s Korean and my dad’s from Germany

If my friends were wonder bread I’d hang with peter pan
I’d get stuck in the middle and be mistaken for jam
At the karaoke bar I’m no singing Spartan
I’d get stage fright then drop the mic and still be mistaken for Ricky Martin

People say I’m Hispanic so therefore I must be
Though my dad eats sauerkraut and my mom eats lots of kim-chee

If I were under water with no trunks covering my ass
The fish would look at my big mouth and think “what an ugly Chilean Sea Bass”
Once I went to starbucks I bought a double-shot vanilla venti
I stood there with two straws in my clutch everybody thought I was Tito Puente

People say I’m Hispanic But do they really know
How much I love tequila and the senoritas
And the Grande Burrito

When I go to taco bell to order a nacho plate
The manager she glares at me she says “Amigo – why are you late?!?”
She makes me wear a uniform and say, “Can I take your order?”
So when I’m drunk and I want some food I don’t run for the border

People think I’m Hispanic and I still wonder why
When I get spoken Spanish to, I shrug my shoulders and I sigh

Once I had an afro once when I was just eighteen
I hung with brother Washington he called me Juan Epstein
I started learning Spanish ‘cause I figured “what the hell?”
I was fighting a losing battle anyway ‘cause no one could even tell

That I am not Hispanic that I am just a man
Whose father is from Germany and mom is Korean
Oley!
Song Stats
Hits: 5148
Comments: 28
Fans: 10
Plays: 414
Downloads: 85
Votes: 29
Uploaded: May 11, 2005 - 01:08:26 PM
Last Updated: Aug 28, 2007 - 02:00:03 PM Last Played: Feb 11, 2015 - 04:32:04 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
G4 dual 1.4 Pwr PC, 1GB RAM
M-Box, Rode NT-1 large diaphragm condensor mic.
Jackson arch-top wP-90's through a Barber Tone Pump to a Reverend Hellhound 40/60 tube amplifier.
Alvarez Yairi Acoustic
Software:
GarageBand, ProTools, SampleTank
Comments
Peter Greenstone said 4544 days ago (May 11th, 2005)
Heheheehehe
Oh, this is friggin' great. Great concept all around. What
else can I say? Excellent guitar playing, too. Muy bueno!
Check out my latest song called Iridium Flare (2013 Re-Release)
alley-oop said 4544 days ago (May 11th, 2005)
Sooo funny!
I laughed all they way through. crazy, nutty and zany. Had
me in tears. Great fun tune!
Check out my latest song called rain
Patman said 4544 days ago (May 11th, 2005)
Tu es loco Hombre!
That was some of the funniest stuff. Reminds me of Vinnie
Santino Genius! Mas musica, Por favor.
Check out my latest song called I've Had Better Days
said 4544 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
This is Hilarious
And very, very well done. I can relate a bit. I'm Irish and
Swedish but was once mistaken for Italian by some Italians
asking for directions when I lived in Italy. At least until I
opened my mouth.
aclarke said 4544 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
I know the feeling....
I was once mistaken for a hobbit.

Great song, LMFAO!
Check out my latest song called Right on Time 2014- feat. David McNair
Einarus said 4544 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
Funny stuff
The funniest song I've heard in a long time!
Great song, as well!
Good job!
Check out my latest song called "I Hate Goodbyes"
Pie said 4544 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
a star...
...is born :-)
Check out my latest song called Coalesce (Instrumental)
SlimGirlFat said 4544 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
Ha!
truly truly funny, and brilliantly put together,
great guitar playing and sung really well..
thanks for posting this up..
SlimGirlFat
Tom Atwood said 4544 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
great mix
of humor and production. Excellent.
Check out my latest song called Vanishing Pezzicato
I. Spike said 4544 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
KOT-T-AIRE!
...wait just a minute, wait... hold on.... okay, I'm better
now... I had to pick myslef up from off the floor, I had
fallen down to due your musical power!!!!!!
What can I say... How about this... I loved evrything about
this song. Form the Santana guitar quotes to self
correction on rhyming schemes, the delivery, subject
matter, perfomance all perfection my brotha! as I fall all
over myself, I tip my hat to you and think that maybe we
should author a song together... ...?....
Anything less then 10's on this song is insulting!
Only one thing - your art work is pixely - I had too look
real hard to find something amiss... or was that
intentional... hmmmmm.....
Check out my latest song called Aqua Velveeta
eleveneyes said 4543 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
KOT-T-AIRE!
oh my GOD! it's I.SPIKE!!!!
i love your work man. you're my favorite artist on this site. i don't think the
world is ready for a collaboration between us two knuckleheads! would be fun
though. the pixley artwork, yeah i know, the original image was tiney. nothin'
a margarita can't fix though.

---
this is your life and you do what you want to do...
just don't hurt nobody...
...less of course they ask you
Check out my latest song called You And Me
Kevensor said 4544 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
I too..
have been mistaken for being Hispanic. Although I am a mixed breed mostly of Italian origin.

Great mix Great performance and most of all, very funny!

Thanks!
Check out my latest song called Broken Hearted - Redux
eleveneyes said 4543 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
I too..
WHAT?!?!?!
you're NOT hispanic?
i didn't know that!

thanks for listening!

---
this is your life and you do what you want to do...
just don't hurt nobody...
...less of course they ask you
Check out my latest song called You And Me
Scorpjammer said 4543 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
Awesome!
I am hispanic and my sister (now widowed) was married to a Korean...Stand-up comic, Woogie Ham. Funny thing is that my 'hispanic' sister looks like Connie Chong...for real! lol! My brother-in-law, Woogie was on The Weakest Link back in the summer of 2001 and his show was rated highest in the US and the UK for his cutting humor. He really let the host, Anne Robinson, have it!: http://www.tvgameshows.net/woogieham.htm

Keep a look out for it on the Game Channel.

As for the music. Fantastic arrangement. I second I. Spike's comment. I'm floored. That latin arrangement is no joke. That's some good stuff.

10's from me! And a keeper. I will share this one with my sister and I will think of my brother-in-law everytime I hear it. He' would've gotten a huge kick out of it, no doubt.


Check out my latest song called Christmas Time Is Here
eleveneyes said 4543 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
Awesome!
Thanks for listening Scorp. Woogie seemed like a crazy cookey korean! i know
a few of 'em! sorry to hear about his passing. Hope your sister Connie likes
the song!

---
this is your life and you do what you want to do...
just don't hurt nobody...
...less of course they ask you
Check out my latest song called You And Me
thetiler said 4543 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
nice novelty but good music as well
Like the tune sounds like a lot of fun work went into it.
Good going


Check out my latest song called They Went Underground
thetiler said 4543 days ago (May 12th, 2005)
nice novelty but good music as well
Like the tune sounds like a lot of fun work went into it.
Good going


Check out my latest song called They Went Underground
said 4540 days ago (May 15th, 2005)
MR. ED?
They mistake me for a horse sometimes! I guess that's a good thing for the ladies!
Emily Rohm said 4540 days ago (May 15th, 2005)
Now I'm hungry for kim-chee.
The Santana-like guitar is so great. Really funny. Catchy
tune with clever lyrics. You can't go wrong with that!
Check out my latest song called Monica's Waltz
TennesseeVic said 4539 days ago (May 16th, 2005)
You must have an interesting life
with all those misunderstandings.

Cool guitar parts.

Check out my latest song called Allegro from flute sonata 1 in C
Anonymous said 4539 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
this is MY life too!
i identify with your words to the extreme, since i too am
from two cultures ... east european mother and mexican
father ... i am from both and from NEITHER ... you capture
this dilemma to perfection in your song! ... the sum of the
two cultures creates a whole NEW one ... which is the
reason i feel extremely strange in the world the majority
of time ... thank you for the creation of this song! ...
stevel said 4538 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
Great fun
Sounds like Carlos Santana would if he had a sense of
humour! Great
tune you got there
S
Check out my latest song called Broken Toy
drakonis said 4538 days ago (May 17th, 2005)
muy funnissimo
Loved the great music, great playing, great lyrics, great
singing delivery, and great humor! Awesome job here! 9s
across the board!

With my big nose and curly hair and German/Swedish/
French ancestry, the question I always get asked (now a
running family joke) is "how come you're not Jewish?" Oy!
ttfn,
Drakonis
Check out my latest song called Miwok
Warren Smith said 4529 days ago (May 26th, 2005)
not hispanic?
You're not? You could've fooled me! As a not-hispanic person myself, I'm still trying to learn how to roll those Rrrrrrs. Clever, well-crafted lyrics, wonderful delivery and great guitar work - this song has it all!
Check out my latest song called Nowhere
offensive_jerk said 4078 days ago (August 21st, 2006)
haah
very funny and clever lyrics

Check out my latest song called Price Slasher
ktb said 3780 days ago (June 15th, 2007)
where ever
your folks are from they passed on a great deal of talent. you write with such flair. always suprising, but consistently great. very hip track. great job on the guitar.
Check out my latest song called Blackwater (by Tokai)
saymme said 3317 days ago (September 19th, 2008)
!!!
What a BLAST!!!!!!! LMfAO ( : ; ) You certainly brightened up this evening LOVE IT Wow wonderful job You done here I'm kinda thrilled to hear this, such a wonderful 'mixture' of different things(dont know how to say it in englishORin musicterms..) HIGH SCORES IN MY BOOK Courtsey to YOU !! lena
Parichayaka said 3317 days ago (September 19th, 2008)
Awesome...
Somebody just posted this link in the chat window and I didn't know this was an 'old' post until I saw the ratings (should be close to 10, but back then 8 was outstanding on Macjams, I know...). I had a fantastic time listening to this - knew you were one of the most talented artists on this site, but this song put a grin on my face from beginning to the end. Not to mention your vocal and musical performance, but that I don't have to tell you:)
Check out my latest song called we may be dreaming
Artist Info
artist photo
Name: Ray Kainz
Location: Austin TX USA
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Check out my band Nomad City! Hey, I'm Ray, I play guitar and a few other things. I love writing and recording. I really enjoy discovering some great music here on MacJams. Many of the songs here are experiments or penultimate versions. It's ... [see more]

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