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She moved through the Fair

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I always imagined the woman that this song is about to have commited suicide, or to have had an accident in a river, I don't know why. So this is my tribute to that idea (and playing about with my new software!!). The idea was that the mourner would be singing at the finding of the girl, hence the water in the background. The tubular bells stood in for the church bells that would ring at her funeral. If that makes any sense... anyway, see what you think!
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My young love said to me, "My brothers won't mind,
And my parents won't slight you for your lack of kind."
Then she stepped away from me, and this she did say,
"It will not be long, love, till our wedding day."

She stepped away from me and she moved through the fair,
And fondly I watched her go here and go there,
Then dshe went her way homeward with one star awake,
As the swan in the evening moves over the lake.

The people were saying no two were e'er wed
But one had a sorrow that never was said,
And I smiled as she passed with her goods and her gear,
and that was the last that I saw of my dear.

I dreamt it last night that my young love came in,
so softly she entered, her feet made no din;
she came close beside me, and this she did say,
"It will not be long, love, till our wedding day."
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Comments: 9
Fans: 2
Plays: 596
Downloads: 202
Votes: 6
Uploaded: Sep 15, 2005 - 02:16:03 AM
Last Updated: Sep 14, 2005 - 08:38:04 PM Last Played: May 31, 2019 - 04:00:07 AM
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cjhoose said 5026 days ago (September 15th, 2005)
Eerie and sparse
The delicacy of your voice suits the song very well. I rather
like the simplicity, with the bells and echo and the water.
Check out my latest song called Vapor
Cameron said 5026 days ago (September 15th, 2005)
some very interesting stuff here
You have combined some very interesting sounds on this
song; it has a LOT of potential.

That water didn't sound an awful lot like water to me; the
"highs" were emphasized which made it seem almost like
a scratchy record (over my headphones, anyway) or even a
crackling fire. You might try adjusting the EQ.

The echo effect on your vocals is interesting, up to a
point. I'm still not sure how I feel about it being constant
throughout the song....you might try using it just at the
ends of phrases, see what kind of effect that has.

The bells are a nice touch, adding continuity to the song.

I didn't hear any harp on this....

The lyrics are melodious and rather "classical" in tone, like
an ancient poem. So the word "gear" sort of jumps out; it
doesn't quite fit.

Anyway, you've got some really good ideas going here and
I hope that you continue to work on this song! Your voice
is captivating and you've got a good musical imagination.
Check out my latest song called Trio for Horn, Violin & Piano
drakonis said 5026 days ago (September 15th, 2005)
touching song
I like this song, and your voice is well matched for this.
I'm not sure I like the strong single-echo delayed voice
though, it is a little distracting... possibly make it
hauntingly fainter? Also, the water sounded more like
crackling in the recording instead of a stream (recording
natural sounds is an art form in itself, this is really hard to
do!) But overall it has that ethereal creepy feeling that I
think this song deserves. I'd like to hear some other
instrument in the background to help carry the tune and
your voice, but it should keep the sparse spirit of the
Check out my latest song called Miwok
Epileptic Gibbon said 5026 days ago (September 15th, 2005)
… It's always hard when I come to rate a version of a
song that I love, particularly when I immediately think
of a particular version of that song that I regard to be
the definitive version. I have a decision, do I
inevitably compare the two versions or avoid such
comparisons. Well, unfortunately, human nature
being what it is, I could not resist listening to your
version and could not avoid making comparisons
with earlier versions either.

What I will say is that this is quite an original and
experimental take on the song, and therefore I have
rated you very highly on originality and creativity.

Elsewhere, however, I have been much harsher
(though not unfairly so, I don't think). I would see
this best as a work in progress. So many of the ideas
just don't work, e.g. the 'water' in the background
that doesn't sound at all like water, the bell which
just sounds a bit dull and detracts from the soul of
the piece, and the echo effect which also detracts and
gave me something like the musical equivalent of
motion sickness.

Sorry if all that is extremely harsh… I don't mean to
be. A lot of it just seems to come down to failures in
production and there's not always a lot that can be
done about that, unless you buy better equipment. I
do really feel that your ideas are great, so you've
clearly no shortage of musical imagination. But the
execution lets those ideas down.

I really hope you will give this another go and repost
it. You can tell me to get stuffed if you like… you
clearly have more musical talent than I do… but I'm
just trying to be honest about this version and I feel
it still needs a whole lot of work.
Check out my latest song called Fiddler Off the Roof w/Komrade K & Caroline
elfdaughter said 5026 days ago (September 15th, 2005)
Thanks! No, I agree - this is very much a work in progress! Thanks for the comment!
Check out my latest song called The Kynges Ballade
nisper said 5026 days ago (September 15th, 2005)
Nice start...
You have a beautiful voice that is a wonderful fit to this song.
I agree the "water" effect tended to lean toward scratchy
record sound and the constant echo did get to be a little
distracting. Still, an awesome start. Can't wait to hear your
Check out my latest song called Loose Anna By You III (w/ Epileptic Gibbon)
alfalpha said 5026 days ago (September 15th, 2005)
Some thoughts...
Once more, you have shown your ability to to write
beautiful melodies. In a genre which (I think) is too often
abused by over complication.

I have to agree with some of the other comments:

Given that there are 4 verses, you have time to develop
the overall idea over the duration of the piece, by
introducing the various effects (perhaps one by one per
verse, for example) which could build the unfolding drama
the lyrics evoke.

Seeing as you have a good sense of timing in your vocal
delivery in telling a story, I would suggest that the effects
might be employed in the same way.

Be very careful when using single echo delay. The 'Winter'
song lent itself to this technique, by virtue of the
harmonic structure in the melody, which bordered on a

Your voice is so well suited. Clearly, your passion for this
type of music is evident in your increasing repertoire,
which seems to grow EVERY day (I AM envious).



Check out my latest song called Mania- w/DavisAmerica-The 'Sprout' Remix
Rebsie said 5025 days ago (September 16th, 2005)
Welcome to MacJams, elfdaughter!
This is one of my favourite traditional songs, so it's
always nice to hear new versions of it! I won't repeat
what's already been said about the water effect ...
suffice to say your voice has a strangely ghost-like
quality to it, which is just right for a spooky song like
this. The effect is quite otherworldly ...
Check out my latest song called Amongst The Colours (w/ Luna Trick)
elfdaughter said 5025 days ago (September 17th, 2005)
Welcome to MacJams, elfdaughter!
Aw, thanks Rebsie!! You inspired me! And yeah....the water's died a death, rather....;)

Check out my latest song called The Kynges Ballade
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Name: Averil "Tincolindo" White
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