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Trying for a poem that is theologically sound, yet takes in my beliefs (or lack thereof). Let me know.

Incase you feel like messing with the file, it's here:

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The tree of knowledge of good and evil
is stripped bare, leaves and branches
even the bark from its body torn
 to make bitter tea.
A poor prognosis for survival.

The tree of life dies under the weight
 of its own fruit
sickly sweet rot fertilizing nothing.
There are lessons here. Men
 would rather starve than
live forever. An orchard untended
 invites decay.
Trees cannot be pruned with a sword
 of flame.

Another place, another garden.

There are temptations here, there are
doubt and mortality,
god made man,
and as many lessons.

Tired prayer and tested faith,
sleeping companions and denial,
moonlight through thriving trees,
impatient soldiers,
and a kiss of betrayal.
Torture’s beginning.

There is no place for man in named gardens.

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Hits: 4257
Comments: 3
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Plays: 107
Downloads: 191
Votes: 5
Uploaded: Aug 27, 2006 - 01:21:59 AM
Last Updated: Aug 27, 2006 - 01:21:59 AM Last Played: Jun 08, 2019 - 09:17:57 AM
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Couple of mics, audio input, the usual.
GB3 only.
Willywagga said 4672 days ago (August 31st, 2006)
Firstly, some things are not immediately apparent upon first or
subsequent listens, I'm a bit confused,. Not sure what you mean by: A
poor prognosis for survival, in the context of the poem. I like the
timeless parallels, there is a biblical sense as well as a contemporary
sense. Maybe I'm missing something, I was probably confused before I
even started listening to it. For me it works better to read it silently and
put the words into my own head where they're supposed to fit.
Jeez, I think I just saw Will Shakespeare flit past in the shadows, all
blood and worry, signifying something.
I like your words, they give me just enough.
And that's all I need.
Thank You

Check out my latest song called The Jes on Sea Road
cjorgensen said 4658 days ago (September 14th, 2006)
re: hmmm
I can finally respond!

Well, the line you were having difficulty is one I wasn't expecting people to
have problems with, but on rereading it, I see it could be the tree or people.
Anyway, I was trying to say if you rip off all the bark and leaves of a tree,
chances are it will die. When you have something of value, people tend to
strip mine it until there is little left.

I was going for a poem that was theologically sound, yet held meaning for
me. Too often people come to a problem from such differing viewpoints it is
impossible to understand each other. I was trying to show I understand the

I would rather people just read my poems, put their own meaning to them,
but this is an audio site. :)

And you'd be surprised at how many times people make me feel smarter than
I am by pointing out a meaning in one of my poems I did not intend.
Sometimes, after, they are so correct I can no longer read it any other way.

And I am no Shakespeare.

For my birthday this year a friend gave me a shirt that says, "Shakespeare
hates your emo poems." The other day I was wondering what Shakespeare
would be doing if he were alive today. I'm guessing suing a lot of people for
royalties. Ha! Bet he'd be making movies and not writing poetry or plays.

A Bloody Dark Pastryman
Check out my latest song called Gardens
DeRocK said 4669 days ago (September 3rd, 2006)
indeed indeed
you said, i heard it, hope its the same thing...
Check out my latest song called Feck'in IPod
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Name: Christopher L. Jorgensen
Location: Slater IA United States
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Christopher L. Jorgensen is lucky enough to make his living answering questions about Macintosh computers all day. In his spare time he likes to drink wine, play with webdesign, and learn new things about computers. He has an iron ego and lives fo... [see more]

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