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Bruised And Broken (demo)


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Description
This is a song I just wrote last night and recorded today. This is meant as a simple demo. It's a live take with guitar that I then added in a bass part to.

I'm going to perform this one in my live sets for a while before I sit down to make a full version of. I want to let it evolve more and get myself more experienced with it. But I think this makes for quite a listenable first draft demo.

Comments are appreciated and welcome.
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Lyrics
I'm bruised and I'm broken
but I keep some peace for myself
I never took the pain like should

I'm weak as a whimper
I'm short as a temper
been run through sluice
Nothing left but but the dirt you know
that you already know

And I'm dying to know
why you keep me close
and follow me down
to the end of the rope
you see in me
what you want to believe
is something better
something better than anything
I could ever be
I could ever be

You're as sick as I
as twisted as hope
as mangled as the words
and silent as snow
You breathe in me
I breathe in you
I'm sorry I ever... I never

I never
I never

In all these years there was never a story
just an epilogue
It all comes down to a twist
where we sacrifice everything for naught

But I'm bruised and I'm broken
and I don't even know why

I never
I never
I never
I never

There's coming a day
when you're sick of the dream
when your fevered ghosts
won't cover for me

You're bruised and you're broken
and you resent the day
you gave in to the notion
there was something in me

I never
I never
I never promised you anything
I never
I never
I never offered you this dream
Song Stats
Hits: 4824
Comments: 20
Fans: 8
Plays: 208
Downloads: 164
Votes: 9
Uploaded: Dec 30, 2006 - 06:46:27 PM
Last Updated: Dec 30, 2006 - 06:46:27 PM Last Played: Jun 30, 2019 - 04:15:59 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
G5, Taylor acoustic guitar, Fender P-Bass Jr, AudioTechinca MB4000C condensor mic, ART Tube preamp/compressor, M-Audio 410 interface
Software:
Comments
moorlandt said 4615 days ago (December 30th, 2006)
very promising
whooo... I can hear the whole developed piece right now. What an energy, Peter. No doubt this is a perfect scratch track to start from. Brilliant lyrics as well. Very touching. Top-notch as usual. And I'm anxious to hear the final version.

- Walter
Check out my latest song called Free (remix)
jiguma said 4615 days ago (December 30th, 2006)
Always nice to have a new pg track
Sounds like this has huge potential for a full production Peter. Look forward to hearing where it goes.
Cheers,
Neil
Check out my latest song called Closing Down
thoddi said 4615 days ago (December 30th, 2006)
Yes
Great tune Peter. As I understand this is a sketch, I'm looking forward to a recording with a fuller arrangement)

But you absolutely can do this live with just you and your guitar. You show great timing and power in your performance here.
Check out my latest song called How can I make it up to you
Peter Greenstone said 4614 days ago (December 31st, 2006)
thanks
Thanks, thoddi. Drop in to SL again and catch a show sometime. Or even better yet, perform one. We're doing remote duets+ these days there (metajams).

---
www.petergreenstone.com
Check out my latest song called Iridium Flare (2013 Re-Release)
alley-oop said 4615 days ago (December 30th, 2006)
thoughts
Really good writing,
Good vocal energy. Strong delivery. I especially like the 'never, never..whoa' parts.
Since this song is in the demo stage, may I offer an idea. You could contrast in a spot(s) by bringing the vocal WAY down, maybe at the "In all these years .... everything for naught" section. Show a softer, vulnerable emotion, then boost it back up. A change-up as it were. Catch the listener off guard.
Good song


Check out my latest song called rain
Peter Greenstone said 4615 days ago (December 30th, 2006)
thanks
Thanks, Mr Oop. Yeah, I think you got the right idea there. I think I was a little distracted in that part trying to hit the bridge chords correctly there too.

Good to see you here again. Happy New Year!

---
www.petergreenstone.com
Check out my latest song called Iridium Flare (2013 Re-Release)
Mcboy said 4615 days ago (December 30th, 2006)
yes......
i hear the soul behind the music.....the music that tells a tale of life.....life that we all share....u are becoming a master griot....bravo!
Check out my latest song called Bluesphemy (MJRF 2010)
Peter Greenstone said 4613 days ago (January 1st, 2007)
thanks
I had to look up "griot". Thanks, McBoy. I really appreciate that.

---
www.petergreenstone.com
Check out my latest song called Iridium Flare (2013 Re-Release)
bronco said 4615 days ago (December 31st, 2006)
Emotion!
Very nice emotional piece with some very interesting poetic lyrics. Your voice sounds more powerful here. The anquish expressed in the lyrics comes through clearly in your tone of voice. Life can be a bumpy ride but sometimes it all seems worth it!
Check out my latest song called Stenosis Commitosis
ktb said 4614 days ago (December 31st, 2006)
wow
man, your energy just jumps out of the speakers. you just pour yourself into it. blown away by the immediacy and urgency of your performance.
Check out my latest song called Blackwater (by Tokai)
Ed Hannifin said 4614 days ago (December 31st, 2006)
On its way to being a tour de force..
...this is a great song, with strong melody, strong rhythm, and an intense vocal performance.. The lyrics have the obliqueness that can come when someone is writing in a detailed way about something specific, but you the listener don't have the key... So you get the feeling and your mind is left in a state of searching...

Since it's a demo, I'll say that I love the bass tone you've got here, which is full and deep and rich, but also detailed, and, this being so, I think the closer the bass and the acoustic guitar are in synch, the tighter the song will feel...

I will download all iterations of this song, and take it as a lesson in development and recording.... Can't wait...

Ed
Check out my latest song called Chime (Alone) (Inspired by Particle Dots)
Peter Greenstone said 4613 days ago (January 1st, 2007)
thanks
Yeah, the timing is rather sloppy here. hehe. Practice will help, when I'm not focussing so much on figuring out where I am and what I'm doing.

Always nice to hear from you, Ed.

---
www.petergreenstone.com
Check out my latest song called Iridium Flare (2013 Re-Release)
said 4614 days ago (December 31st, 2006)
wow! fabulous demo!
I'm really looking forward to the finished work. Your vocal delivery herein is passionate and persuasive. Love it!

Happy New Year friend!



JUGGERNAUT: http://www.macjams.com/song/27500
dreadmon said 4614 days ago (January 1st, 2007)
Out of the gates
You're flying like a Derby winner. What oop said - more dynamics, for sure - the lyrics are brilliant - I like that you leave a lot of dangling ideas. People don't always speak in complete sentences; this song is very "of the moment", definitely keep that edge. Looking forward to hearing you blow this up.
Check out my latest song called Don't You
mikkinylund said 4613 days ago (January 1st, 2007)
Energy
Very good first attemtp with this song. I can hear this one with loud cymbals and craches, it has all the potentials for different levels (soft, strong, powerful etc.). I can also hear this being performed alsmost as is, guitar and bass. The vocals are as always very strong as the lyrics are. /Mikki
Check out my latest song called Rune XV
Cori Ander said 4612 days ago (January 2nd, 2007)
Has a catch
The song has a catch, it stays in my head a good while after listening.
I also think it is a good composition with some really nice chord progressions in there. And like Ed I dig that low bass.
Check out my latest song called O store Gud
said 4550 days ago (March 6th, 2007)
: )
WOOOOOH .. WHAT A SONG & WHAT A GREAT VOICE YOU HAVE!! Very strong & passionate...mmmmm I like it ALOT & REALLY look forward to the next of this: ) !!!! GREAT MUSIC & LYRICS I love that ending that's really GREAT!!! : )Wish I could hear You live sometime....dreamin...A womans OOOOOOOOOHHHing in the background together with Yours could be an icing on the cake . . dreamin again: ) Congratulations is all I can say & GO GO GO!Topnumbers !! HAPPY BIRTHDAY a day late hope You had a nice one : ) : )
said 4540 days ago (March 15th, 2007)
very nice
got a great live feel to it...really good vocals, and nice songwriting.
i am a fan now for sure..........
said 4034 days ago (August 3rd, 2008)
Bruised And Broken (demo) by Peter Greenstone
Shows promise, but you're singing a little too loudly and too quickly for the music, slow your words down a little, and watch your pitch. It's got promise!
dave1963 said 4019 days ago (August 18th, 2008)
good stuff
Hey Peter,

From one Austinite to another - this is good stuff. You've got great tone and delivery...has anyone ever mentioned that your vocals sound a bit like Peter Murphy? I'd love to hear you cover "Cuts You Up" sometime (but keep the originals coming, too!).

Keep rockin'.

Dave
Check out my latest song called The Sunroof Song
Peter Greenstone said 4018 days ago (August 18th, 2008)
Thanks
Thanks, Dave. Yes, I've been told that a couple of times before.
Check out my latest song called Iridium Flare (2013 Re-Release)
Artist Info
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Name: Peter Greenstone
Location: Roxborough Colorado USA
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I'm not a professional musician by any means. By day I work as an animator and 3D artist. Over the past few years I have developed a passion for songwriting and making music. I do it all myself in my home with a pretty simple setup. CLICK H... [see more]

Check out some of my other songs:

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