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A Windows User's Lament


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Description
Bad Rock'n'Roll but good advice
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Lyrics
I turned on my computer the other night
And Windows gave me a terrible fright
I couldn’t see my icons or my Recycle Bin,
Sound wouldn’t come out and words wouldn’t go in
So I called up my little computer man
He turned up next day in a plain white van
He said ‘I reckon you’ve got a virus, son,
I have to say you’re not the only one:
Put it in the van and I’ll take it back -
You wouldn’t have this trouble if you’d bought a Mac’.

I said ‘It hasn’t been well for quite a while
It says it cannot find some DLL file
My hard disk’s floppy and my floppy disk’s broke
My CD burner’s burning up in smoke
I cannot re-set it to its previous states
And all because I trusted that nice Bill Gates’
I said ‘Will Vista be better then?’
He said ‘It ought to be, it’s just like OS 10.
Put it in the van and I’ll take it back -
You wouldn’t have this trouble if you’d bought a Mac’.


I said ‘My broadband’s narrow and my flowchart won’t flow
My printer won’t print and my modem won’t mo
I can’t believe I’ve had all this bad luck
Is it me or does Windows suck?’
He said ‘My son make no mistake:
Hoovers suck but windows break.’
He said ‘It’s not a case for a software patch
I’ll have to build the hard disk up from scratch.’
I said ‘Put it in the skip and don’t you take it back -
By this time tomorrow I’ll have bought a Mac’.

[Disclaimer: the user referred to in this song is fictitious. Most Windows users have a satisfactory computing experience.]
Song Stats
Hits: 3782
Comments: 7
Fans: 4
Plays: 240
Downloads: 149
Votes: 3
Uploaded: Feb 09, 2007 - 04:29:18 AM
Last Updated: Feb 09, 2007 - 10:56:53 AM Last Played: Apr 12, 2019 - 02:39:09 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
20 inch G$ iMac, Evolution MK149 Keyboard
Software:
Created in GarageBand, mixed in cubase LE
Comments
SLICK said 4519 days ago (February 9th, 2007)
He He
I just passed this on to the other guys in the office and it made them laugh too.
Check out my latest song called POD Killer
Doctor Doright said 4514 days ago (February 14th, 2007)
Ha Ha
That's great. I clicked the link from a forum post. Love the disclaimer at the end!
Check out my latest song called Kraft
Cori Ander said 4512 days ago (February 16th, 2007)
Also I
I too have passed the song around to non-MJ people.

Great and a lot of laughing!
Check out my latest song called O store Gud
MKVX said 4353 days ago (July 25th, 2007)
ALRIGHT!!!
arg that was slammin'

Its about time, eh?

Nice job! I LOVE IT!
Check out my latest song called Eraser Head
spannerotoole said 4276 days ago (October 10th, 2007)
Just to Clear up some confusion
There ARE Viruses for the mac, Mac Users mustn't be complacent about this issue, because that's exactly how viruses can spread, check out SevenDust
Check out my latest song called watkins ale
spannerotoole said 3841 days ago (December 18th, 2008)
Problems on a mac....
You might not have the problems that Windoze has, but the mac has its own issues. One with 24bit Audio for example, Causes a Mac to crash, damn pinwheel, lost songs, and all because I want my piano to sound like a piano (the Quicktime piano does not sound like a *real* piano.)
Check out my latest song called watkins ale
Damroze said 2453 days ago (October 5th, 2012)
Great stuff..
Love the back up vocals.
( written on a Mac mini (yeah-yeah)
Check out my latest song called Philosophy
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Name: Roger Wilmut
Location: London UK
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