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The Gonad Song (explicit metal improv comedy)

[Explicit]
by

Dharma Logos

 Genre: Hard Rock
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Description
THIS IS NOT A SERIOUS SONG. PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT AS SUCH. I was not planning on posting this song, but MacJams participation seems to be having a bit of a slowdown. Also I haven't had a lot of time this week to work on my upcoming serious song "New Life Grows", which is coming along very well but also very slowly. (Still hoping to have it done this weekend - knock on wood.)

About The Gonad Song - This was something I improvised in the first thirty minutes I had my new iMac set up in order to teach myself to use GarageBand. I was only learning to use the program and have a little fun. I laid down a drum loop, improvised acoustic and electric guitar parts, ad libbed lyrics/vocals, threw in some crappy improvised software bass and piano, and that was it. IT WAS MY FIRST EVER RECORDED PIECE (done a month ago), and I never planned on it going anywhere. But I took it to work, and all of my coworkers loved it so much (due to the stupidly vulgar and hillarious lyrics) that some of them still listen to it regularly to this day. This song has sort of grown on me. I find it amusing, and there are some good parts in the guitar solos.

I hope you find this entertaining.
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Song Stats
Hits: 6383
Comments: 36
Fans: 6
Plays: 511
Downloads: 152
Votes: 4
Uploaded: May 31, 2007 - 10:04:43 PM
Last Updated: May 31, 2007 - 10:04:43 PM Last Played: Jul 10, 2019 - 12:05:04 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
iMac, built-in microphone, Carvin electric guitar, Carvin amp, Squier acoustic guitar, bass and piano parts played on typewriter keyboard because I didn't have a piano keyboard controller yet.
Software:
GarageBand3
Comments
Morning Light said 4429 days ago (May 31st, 2007)
Sounds Good!!!! :D)
and yes, I did get a good laugh! Thanks for posting.
Check out my latest song called Oh Blissful Bloom!
Dharma Logos said 4429 days ago (May 31st, 2007)
Thanks for commenting.
I'll kick you in the gonads if you don't shut the hell up ... unless you're commenting. By all means, please comment.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
Monkaton said 4429 days ago (May 31st, 2007)
Too late
I lost my gonads in Nevada.
Check out my latest song called Blue Tie
Dharma Logos said 4429 days ago (May 31st, 2007)
Ooh...
Sounds a lot worse than losing your heart in San Francisco.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
said 4429 days ago (May 31st, 2007)
i have been...
.... with my wife for 9 years... what are gonads... i forgot!
fun tune, though... and a bit comical, too.
Dharma Logos said 4429 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
Thanks man.
I impressed myself with this one. I mean I can't believe how well it turned out with 30 minutes on GarageBand and a pinhole mic. And I tell you my coworkers have demanded to listen to this song so many freaking times - I've heard this song ten times more than anyone should ever hear any song. And I still kinda like it.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
said 4429 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
He he.... Thanks for this
You make me smile and that I really need after one hell night at work.
Fun and unexpected..... Regards, Kenta
Dharma Logos said 4429 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
Thanks man.
I'm a bit freaked out at the moment because I just woke up from a nightmare about my ex girlfriend. It makes me feel better that someone actually likes my stupid song.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
glennkav said 4429 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
SouthPark?
I think this sounds like a great SouthPark tune. I think you should sell it to them and have them use it in there next episode! :)
Check out my latest song called The Beach
Dharma Logos said 4429 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
Well I do love South Park.
I own every season which has been released on DVD. (Except season 1 which I let a girlfriend borrow a couple of years ago -not the same girl mentioned in the previous post- and she lost it.) I am humbled and honored to have somenoe even suggest that my little improvised ditty is South Park quality.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
echoroom said 4429 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
this song ...
.... is (about) bollocks ... but in the best possible way .... you should be writing for South park, Aaron!

Real funny stuff

Steve
Check out my latest song called Light Sleeper
Dharma Logos said 4429 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
Expand it?
Some of the guys at work have been encouraging me to re-record and expand this song, saying if I cleaned up the production they would listen to it while cruising down the beach. I've considered re-recording it, but I have so many other musical projects at the moment. I have an idea for a final verse lyric...

I kicked you in the gonads and broke my fuckin' toe
I said I kicked you in the gonads and broke my fuckin' toe
I never knew those things were made of stone
I kicked you in the gonads and now I better go
Check out my latest song called Celeste
echoroom said 4429 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
expanded...
...maybe aaron ... i don't think you'll get much radio play though!
Check out my latest song called Light Sleeper
Dharma Logos said 4429 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
Who needs radio?
I have the world wide web!
Check out my latest song called Celeste
said 4429 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
Fun tune
i enjoyed this. also funny are the comments on this page.
Dharma Logos said 4429 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
You gotta love...
juvenille humor. Thanks for listening. What do you think of the solos? Totally improvised like the rest of the song.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
michael2 said 4428 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
rocking
what makes it for me (besides the obvious comedic value), is the fact that you used the acoustic and then wailed over that. did you record the electric gtr with the pinhole too? did you ever get a mic, or are you still rocking the pinhole? i did a bunch of instrumentals when i didn't have a way to plug a mic in, then i got crazy fed up and threw down some money i shouldn't have. you need a mic, you got a good rocking voice.
Check out my latest song called Jazz Glitch Dub Experiment
Dharma Logos said 4428 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
Hey Michael!
Like I said, this was totally improvised. I was learning to use GarageBand while exploring the capabilities of my computer, including the pinhole mic. I didn't even know what instrumentation I was going to do. It was like, "Ok now I've got an acoustic guitar and a vocal over a drum loop. I guess I could throw in a solo now."

Yes, I did finally buy a microphone. It's a cheap $50 Radio Shack mic, but it has improved the clarity of my sound threefold. It's just plugged directly into the back of the computer - no preamp, interface, or gain control. Anyway, I'm glad you like this song. It does rock, doesn't it?
Check out my latest song called Celeste
said 4428 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
Sweat Rock n roll
This is what me and old buddy of mine used to call sweat rock n roll
gad this song takes me back to those days!
enjoyed and faved!
Dharma Logos said 4428 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
Rock!
Sweat rock or sweet rock? I guess it's both. Thanks for listening.

That reminds me, a couple of weeks ago a coworker begged me to put this song on MySpace so she could have it on her profile. She and her husband started debating whether my solo was ripping off Eddie van halen or Randy Rhoads. I explained to her the concept of cliched two-handed tapping licks, which I love. I thought that was pretty cool to be compared to two of the greats of rock guitar.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
said 4428 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
SWEAT
Its the idea of cutting loose improving insanely difficult guitar solos and vocals, so raunchy and powerful that the audience loves it immeasurably!

---
wha? who? TW
Dharma Logos said 4428 days ago (June 1st, 2007)
Oooh...
I like I like. Well you can't stop the rock, can you? Even bloody record labels can't stop the rock! Long live shred!
Check out my latest song called Celeste
lavalamp said 4424 days ago (June 6th, 2007)
Love that
We don't always have to be so serious. It sure was amusing with some interesting guitar parts, as you stated.Funny lyrics, man. Coll tune.
LL
Check out my latest song called The Shallow People
Dharma Logos said 4424 days ago (June 6th, 2007)
Lavalamp
Thanks for listening.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
FEEL said 4423 days ago (June 6th, 2007)
What better therapy
Than to take it out on some music. Really liked the drum beat and as far as the rest of the song, Thanks I needed that!
Check out my latest song called A Second Life with Scott Carmicheal
Dharma Logos said 4423 days ago (June 6th, 2007)
Glad you like it, man.
That beat did work out well, didn't it? As soon as I figured out how to put a loop up in the timeline that was the first one I found that I liked. I didn't even have any JamPacks yet.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
FEEL said 4423 days ago (June 7th, 2007)
I only have the jam packs
That came with LE. There are plenty of demos out there to get you buy... tweak them and even if your so inclined make your own. My home made loops are pretty sad but I had fun doing them.
Check out my latest song called A Second Life with Scott Carmicheal
Dharma Logos said 4422 days ago (June 7th, 2007)
Loops.
Now I have a 2-DVD set of heavy metal drum loops by BetaMonkey called Double Bass Mania which I am using on all of my new stuff. It is by far the best sounding and most comprehensive collection of drum loops I have ever heard.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
FEEL said 4422 days ago (June 8th, 2007)
Beta Monkey
Has some good stuff... I've used their EZdrummer demos before.
Check out my latest song called A Second Life with Scott Carmicheal
Axgrinder said 4423 days ago (June 7th, 2007)
All right Cartman!
(explicit) You little nut kicker, I laughed my ass off. I like it! Nice Edwarding as well. Sorry I've been so scarce my friend. Kudos!
Check out my latest song called Dark Circus
Dharma Logos said 4422 days ago (June 7th, 2007)
Edwarding?
Is that what you call two-handed tapping? I'm no artist when I tap, but I'm much faster with it than picking scales. The simplest tapping is usually enough to blow away nonmusicians and beginning guitarists. And it's fun.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
Norman Goodman said 4422 days ago (June 7th, 2007)
Very funny
apart from the obvious humour I thought your vocals were quite good and I enjoyed the tap solos. You should revisit this and tighten it up. Very good tune though, the fact that this is improvised is impressive in of itself.
Check out my latest song called Love Devotion Surrender
Dharma Logos said 4422 days ago (June 7th, 2007)
Thanks for listening.
From the beginning I had guys at work were telling me to re-record it and make it longer. I was always kind of embarassed by this thing, but I've had so much support that I really am thinking about redoing it. I've got two more verses written and ideas for a fuller and longer arrangement. But I've got so many other musical projects that have priority at the moment. Thanks for the support, and it pleases me that so many people enjoy my amatuerish attempts at shredding.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
said 4422 days ago (June 8th, 2007)
wow....
U SOUND like a famous Guy / Man :) wow.... Thanks !
lena
Dharma Logos said 4422 days ago (June 8th, 2007)
Haha
Thanks for stopping by, Zoi/Lena. It's been nice meeting you, and we'll definitely have to chat again.
Check out my latest song called Celeste
said 4417 days ago (June 13th, 2007)
yes
: ) Nice speaking to You on the Phone , GOOD LUCK with Your Music & The Navy ! Lena ///

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Name: Aaron Wooldridge
Location: United States
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Dharma Logos is the heavy metal / hard rock music project of Aaron Wooldridge, a 25 year old California native currently residing in Virginia. I don't have a band yet, but I've been writng songs for years and now have the ability to record them with... [see more]

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