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The play on this is really the wordsmithing. I will really appreciate some honest input on this. Thank you. In this piece, besides telling a story in verse, the music, I'm trying to create a feeling of motion of the ocean and a tall ship ploughing through the waves over the high seas and being in various environments and situations.
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The Mystic Ship

There's a mystic ship, on a trip, inside a bottle.
A little magic genie has control of the throttle.
It came to me as I was walking down by the sea.
A tidal wave had pushed it there, up in fornt me.
I had no idea, for me, what was in store.
The stopper in the bottle, was like an alice door.
when I looked in side , I saw the captain of the ship.
The crew were waving, beckon me for the trip.
They sailed out on vapors, I was caught in the captains net.
Your destiny, said She, sail this ship named no regret.
Your a captain now, steer your course, by sea or by the land.
But first you have to see with me what's buried in the sand, On
Paradise island, out in the sea.
In Manhattan, with a long ice tea.
Up in Machu pichu, somewhere in the sky.
Thailand temples, if you like, we can fly.

Away, let's find some new reality.
You and me
Love is something there that is true
Sail away from all this negitivity
and make it new
Love is something that is true
and there's something there for you.

Bottle in my pocket, ship beneath my feet.
beautiful mermaids, hangn' out by the reef.
Let's go party, some place we can find.
rub-e-dub dancen' or maybe you like to grind.

The Maid of mirth and I, have settled here on earth.
Have our little castle, love, treasure and it's worth.
The genie and the bottle, we set free out by the sea.
By chance someday, you might find it if you be lucky.

So Sail away, from all this negativity.
And make it new.
Love is something there that's true.
and there is some of it for you.
yes there is something there for me./

ARR@2004 richard tappan
Song Stats
Hits: 4489
Comments: 6
Fans: 2
Plays: 271
Downloads: 162
Votes: 5
Uploaded: Sep 26, 2004 - 08:53:58 PM
Last Updated: Sep 26, 2004 - 10:09:14 PM Last Played: Jul 19, 2019 - 04:00:40 AM
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regulus said 5471 days ago (September 27th, 2004)
Something is out of joint here with low marks delivered on
this song. I can say that because it has all the proper
elements that comprise such as a song. It has melody,
pre-chorus build up integrated with a percussion
assemblage for a bridge and then the chorus.

The song has a descriptive Story line and it is in verse,
that means it rimes. It has a beginning and an end. And a
little quasi philosophical conclusion within the chorus. I
would believe that, in elementary or high school alone
that deserves at the very minimum a B. Notwithstanding
there is the voice quality and delivery to be considered to
assess an honest opinion and vote.

In production: the sound levels are all balanced, every
thing is clear and distinct and with a minimum of effects.
It has a limited use of loops and maintains a consistency
to the theme. The construction integrates the lines in a
practical manner that has a music industry acceptability.
Which is apparently everything.

Originality I believe, has to do with, "If you haven't heard it
before in that way then it is original." then that would
equivocate being creative. I believe also that the category
has to include and is based upon the two above. Not
solely (only), on the means to convey (carry or deliver), the

Overall: would seem to based on all the above and the
personal connection, if any, in an unbiased opinion. If it
isn't in you reference of appreciation, why do you even
trouble yourself to vote. Some things need be left to
there own.

YOU might muster (gather up courage), what ever it takes
with your gender to make a statement in telling me what
you didn't like or how it would have been made better. I
have enough years and experiences to me to be a
qualified adult (alas), and that includes understanding
with rationality and without be vindictive over trivialities. I
hope you can comprehend this.

If it is for a prejudice for/with the use of loops than you
need to expand your humanness to a higher intellectual
level including compassion for your inferiors. "quote...
Check out my latest song called Sensual Waters featuring ✬✬ rsorensen ✬✬
XVERION said 5468 days ago (September 30th, 2004)
Good song
I think that the vocals should be brought out to the front more, for some reason it sounds like you're singing from inside a bottle. I like the whole idea of the story line for the song, that's what I try to convey in my songs also. The reggae beat towards the middle seemed to be out of key too. Otherwise a good song, good singing too. Reminds me a little of Tobin Mueller.
Check out my latest song called The Weekday Nightly Ritual-Us(short version)
regulus said 5467 days ago (September 30th, 2004)
Good song
Thank you for the comments. I plan on doing a remix of this and use less
effects, bottleness, if thats what your making note on. Your right on the
organ. The original key is G and the reg stuff is in C and as a 4th it was
almost there but not as good as a 5th. G is really a hard key for me to sing
in especially the upper mid ranges and that last note along, with the brass
took me four days of practice to hit correctly and not loose control of it. And
thanks for the compliments also. Greatly appreciated.


++ Desiderata ++
Check out my latest song called Sensual Waters featuring ✬✬ rsorensen ✬✬
VicDiesel said 4503 days ago (May 23rd, 2007)
I'll disagree with the previous poster about a bottled sound. Every song has its own frequency spectrum, and yours is not further out of wack than others.

I like the effect that you get from having such a bass and percussion driven track, with very little chordal sounds between that and the vocals. That's a good way to bring out the story in the lyrics.

Was it a concscious effect that the vocals are sometimes one beat offset? That's kinda nifty.

One thing: there are two phrases ("sailed out on vapors" being one) that seem to start in the middle of a wave form, or something like that. There is an unreal attack to them. Be careful with audio editing!
Check out my latest song called Frippery
LunaTrick said 3957 days ago (November 19th, 2008)
Great stuff....
I think this is really interesting. I like the back-beat and various sound treatments. I also like the dualism with the vocals and horns. Sail away from the negativity... there's a lot of good work here. Ratings be damned anyway!
Check out my latest song called Luna Gypsy Heart II (Eternal Firelight)
egobandit said 3396 days ago (June 2nd, 2010)
I like
Sorry I missed this and many more of your songs I really like the story and the singing Allittole shaky in the start but by the end your pipes are blaring cool song!
Check out my latest song called Cook the goose
Artist Info
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Name: richard tappan
Location: puebla Mexico
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This wood monkey has mercury in the first house and a passion for creativity in the first degree. It has been playing w/ the full spectrum of artistic expressions since ??? This spirit and the body containing it, reside south of Mexico City. The ... [see more]

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