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Wall of Heaven



 Genre: Spoken Word-Poetry

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Another in my series dedicated to audioizing the poetry of Tobin James Mueller. From his award-winning collection "Falling Past Love." Tobin makes an appearance playing a duet with himself on Indian Flute. I use it like a herald announcing the opening of heaven, symbolizing the birth of love. But it is unrequited love, or at least love without reciprocal commitment, and a sense of disorientation soon envelopes me. But sometimes faith is all you have to grab on to, a sense of possibility and the courage to walk into the hell of loving. To find what we need. (Text by TJM, slightly edited by me. Artwork: The Birth of Adam and Eve.)
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there are no hand holds on the wall of heaven
nothing to grasp, nothing but my own descent

and i ask

the gossamer cord, anchored like a tendon
to the muscles of my reaching, as it
slides through these hands before they know to close
and i realize, suddenly, how motionless i am beneath the sky

i ask if

standing still drenched in communal sweat
and the sweet smell of your saliva,
my mouth smiling your smile, remembering
the feel of it beneath me

this union, i ask if you know it too

and the chill of wind cuts through my clothing
waiting for a reply, waiting, as
density replaces being
in each repeated silence

from the spasms of no reply
i’m pushed, like a newborn,
into a world i cannot envision
past the dream of it

and i ask

beneath the single light of the lamp
dull and humming in the pre-morn
grey as pavement and twice as lifeless
i ask myself instead to fly

beyond answers

here, with nothing to grasp,
with no map to lead me back within the wall of you

© 2004 Tobin james Mueller
Song Stats
Hits: 5835
Comments: 26
Fans: 6
Plays: 246
Downloads: 207
Votes: 21
Uploaded: Dec 10, 2004 - 08:20:29 AM
Last Updated: Feb 14, 2005 - 02:43:06 PM Last Played: May 27, 2019 - 07:33:04 AM
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TobinMueller said 5366 days ago (December 10th, 2004)
Wow. Would not have expected this interpretation. The
music is like a second voice, sometimes competing, just
as separate emotions do inside. Again, you've breathed
new life into it with your own personal insights. Goose
bumps. Excellent mix.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
Del said 5365 days ago (December 11th, 2004)
Thanks for everything. Glad to susprise.
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
_nderscore said 5366 days ago (December 10th, 2004)
i would love this just for the music alone, but the vocals
take it twice as far. excellent work on the intonation of the
poem. the range of the emotional scale totally makes it for
me-it's nice that things don't revolve around only the
sweetest emotions-the full breadth of life is captured

the timing at the end of the 4th verse didin't seem to
mesh.. i expected the musical silence to occur at the same
time you said 'silence', instead of the music running on a
bit further-then again, maybe your play on that
expectation was the point

i'm a little confused about who handled which part. did
tobin do all of the music, or just the flute pieces? the
music was fabulous! however you guys did it, it really
came off very well
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Del said 5365 days ago (December 11th, 2004)
Yes, Tobin just did the flutes.
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
said 5365 days ago (December 11th, 2004)
Perfect unison of
poetic lyrics, voice, and musical accompaniment. The
music draws me into each word as you speak. [ Also
because of your incredible vocal presence.]
I believe you could read the phone book and make it
compelling. Bravo!
Del said 5176 days ago (June 18th, 2005)
Perfect unison of
Thank you. I always dreamed (as fan of Italian opera) of someone yelling Bravo in my directioon. Very satisying to read your comments. You made my day.
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
said 5362 days ago (December 13th, 2004)
Great Presentation!
Incredible art, poetry, and vocal delivery. Thanks for sharing.
Stun Nutz said 5362 days ago (December 13th, 2004)
An absorbing journey
Nice variety in the music... the tension filled middle
section gave more power to the pretty beginning and
ending. I was pulled into the poetry by your
commanding voice. Loved it!
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Del said 5176 days ago (June 18th, 2005)
An absorbing journey
Thank you. I was afraid the middle lasted too long, but your comments give me confidence that my first intuition was right, that it reflected what was happening inside me even before I knew it was happening. Many times, that is the way it works. I appreciate your thoughts.
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
Cameron said 5362 days ago (December 14th, 2004)
a journey
Tobin's lyrics and your voice were both very compelling;
an excellent combination.

There was great variety in the music, almost too much so
(for me, anyway). But actually, it did fit the
heightened emotional content of the lyrics.

I admire you for your inventiveness and expressiveness,
and obviously strong connection you have with these
evocative lyrics.

I truly enjoyed the ending section of music the best. Were
you going for some sort of resolution to the earlier
intensity? It almost seemed like a separate piece.

Your voice is exceptionally resonant, and your reading did
justice to the poem.
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Del said 5270 days ago (March 16th, 2005)
a journey
I worried about the differences in the music, if it would seem more like a
collection of sounds than an evolving backing. In the end, I decided the
abruptness was kind of neat and that I had to come back to the main them or
it was out of balance. But I know what you mean.
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
mulletsrock said 5360 days ago (December 16th, 2004)
Powerful text
This is a powerful and multi-layered text. Readying it before hearing it, I thought of it as a hopeful love poem written by someone who was willing to risk emptiness to try and find something to fill him up; someone with patience to wait for his lover to see him with the eyes of a partner. That the walls of heaven were seen from the inside, like being in a huge well, and that staying in heaven was the trick, thr tough part, not the getting into heaven. But this reading gave me a new perspective. I think the atonal strings come in too earlier, impinge too long; other than that: masterful.
Check out my latest song called Frankenfun II (with iGStudio, Tobin, Suz...)
Del said 5267 days ago (March 19th, 2005)
Powerful text
I really like that you thought about this before/during/after. I agree with you about all of it. Thank you for taking the time to think and then, more importantly, rethink.
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
daphna said 5359 days ago (December 16th, 2004)
very deep
and powerful poetry. I like the musical arrangement too.
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said 5359 days ago (December 17th, 2004)
This is a magnificent performance. It has such clarity and
immediacy that I feel like I am taking it in in person, live,
in a small auditorium in a large metro art center. Quite
evocative in both the lyrics and the musical wrapper.
Mystical and corporeal. The gods sweat and heave along
with the poet. Each realm fulfills the other's needs.
Del said 5270 days ago (March 16th, 2005)
Wow. Thanks for letting this get under your skin. This is my favorite
comment ever. You make me want to do more!
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
Scorpjammer said 5356 days ago (December 19th, 2004)
Shades of...
the great broadcaster, John Facenda. You have a natural gift. With Tobin behind you, can't go wrong. Move over James Earl Jones!
Check out my latest song called Christmas Time Is Here
Del said 5270 days ago (March 16th, 2005)
Shades of...
You're right about having the right people behind you. Barry White was my
main vocal hero, and Sinatra (who I can't touch).
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
Peter Greenstone said 5307 days ago (February 6th, 2005)
very nice
I heard this a while back and thought I'd commented on it, but I guess I didn't. So, having come across it a second time I thought I'd chime in. This a great piece of storytelling. Your voice, the sounds, the music, all sound great, each playing its part just right. Very well done collaboration.
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Del said 5270 days ago (March 16th, 2005)
very nice
It is also very nice that you took the time to listen again. Thanks. I listen to
your stuff more than once too. You're one of the more creative minds on the
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
thetiler said 5245 days ago (April 9th, 2005)
I love this.

What I like the most really is the word "Instead To Fly".
I think that is a lesson that I take with me, or at least try.

Great pic. Nice voice Del. Of course Tobin's talents seems

Thanks so much for sharing this.

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EdensEve said 5234 days ago (April 21st, 2005)
So many layers
Such powerful words. I could drown in your voice. And
then the words come, so layered with meanings, making
me think and stunning me from thinking. This I need (and
want) to listen to again. Unique, moving, exceptional.
Del said 5176 days ago (June 18th, 2005)
So many layers
Thank you. I always think many listenings helps find the subtleties each of us spends so much time fine tuning. It is really nice to know you take the time to do this.
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
bronco said 5212 days ago (May 13th, 2005)
I admit I usually listen to things on this board by category
or whether the person is someone I have heard before and
liked. As a result, I had cut myself off from some really
special stuff. Like,as I would imagine, a lot of songwriters
do, I started off writing poetry(or at least what my very
young self said was poetry). This my friends is the real
thing combined with excellent music to raise goosebumps
on the place deep inside the soul which says there is more
than this and I can get there if I only try!
Check out my latest song called Stenosis Commitosis
Del said 5176 days ago (June 18th, 2005)
Thank you. That is why I wanted to make Tobin's poetry audioly available, because it gave me goosebumps too when I first read it. And when I read it again. Thanks for trying out a different category of stuff.
Check out my latest song called The Androgyne
aiol said 4511 days ago (April 14th, 2007)
such a surprise
wow. beyond answers, yes...
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