Home Music Articles Forums Blog Chat More...      

Porcelain


by

Chimalus

 Genre: Piano

Get Flash to see this player.

Description
This melody is dear to me. The sound feels too harsh though. I'll appreciate any feedback given.
Leave a Comment
You must be registered and logged-in to comment.
Song Stats
Hits: 2184
Comments: 18
Fans: 5
Plays: 55
Downloads: 26
Votes: 0
Uploaded: Apr 20, 2010 - 10:08:01 PM
Last Updated: Jul 29, 2013 - 03:37:02 PM Last Played: Jun 03, 2019 - 09:43:37 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
share on facebook share on twitter download song
Keywords:
Porcelain (2)
Hardware:
MacBook G5
Software:
GarageBand 3
Comments
michaeljayklein said 3345 days ago (April 20th, 2010)
Very fine work Matt
I think I saw those same birds in my backyard this afternoon (what part of Minneapolis are you in?)

Well, I think I understand your questioning the "harshness"--hitting staccato notes with too much damper pedal might be causing what you perceive as a flaw, but this is such an otherwise fine composition, why quibble about the small stuff. Your use of strings was as lively and animated as your piano. The coda was a little forced, but for such a short piece that can be rough to bring in--what you have works for the short time frame however. Very good work, much enjoyed, and look forward to hearing anything you might add on to this. Take care now, Michael
Check out my latest song called There Ain't Nobody Here but Us Chickens!
Chimalus said 3344 days ago (April 21st, 2010)
Thank you!
Thanks Michael!

Oh, what a pleasant surprise... I live in Richfield. How about you?

Very useful insights. I'll work on the coda, experiment with lighter pedaling and post up a new version within the next ten years. Thanks again!

Blessings!
Check out my latest song called Wanna Be Human But This Song...
michaeljayklein said 3344 days ago (April 21st, 2010)
Richfield!
I'm not very far from you then Matt--I'm near 46th Street and Third Avenue in South Minneapolis, but I lived in Richfield for a number of years, at 69th and Penn Avenue South--we literally lived right behind Davanni's pizza behind the little strip mall there. It's a small world!
Check out my latest song called There Ain't Nobody Here but Us Chickens!
ConnieO said 3345 days ago (April 20th, 2010)
Well done
Pretty melody; nice instrumental choices especially the cello. Maybe the deep bass sounds are what feels harsh to you since the name of the song is Porcelain? But...I love the composition. Thanks for sharing.
Check out my latest song called I Don't Wanna
Chimalus said 3344 days ago (April 21st, 2010)
Deep Porcelain...?
Thanks for your kind words, Connie. Those low strings probably do alter the ideal image... Hm, I've been wondering how I might rename the song, but nothing's coming. This seems the most appropriate for now. Glad you enjoyed!

Blessings!
Check out my latest song called Wanna Be Human But This Song...
crissew said 3345 days ago (April 20th, 2010)
Honest Feedback
This piece is not harsh in any way that my ear can hear. The low strings are what make the piece for me. The only suggestion I could make would be that the piano was acting as the percussion for me and when it dropped out at 2:01, it felt like the song started to lose energy. Even when the piano came back it was not there anymore. I would consider, if you are wanting to mix it up, not introducing the piano and having it crescendo as the song climaxes.
Check out my latest song called Runnin' On Empty
Chimalus said 3344 days ago (April 21st, 2010)
Honest Gratitude
Your transparency is valuable to me, Crissew. I'll view the piano as true percussion when I revise. It's exciting to receive feedback on different aspects of the music! I haven't been on here for awhile, so this is refreshing. Thanks!
Check out my latest song called Wanna Be Human But This Song...
FastLane2010 said 3345 days ago (April 21st, 2010)
Too harsh, no way.
If I could play like this I think I'd be dancing up and down the street like a loon! Lovely work. When you say too harsh, do you think maybe playing the song an octave down might mellow it down a bit, I don't know. This is like a beanpole trying to advise Arnold Schwarznegger how to bench press!
Check out my latest song called The Snail Farm
Chimalus said 3344 days ago (April 21st, 2010)
Kindness is Muscular
...and your comment makes me dance a little. The idea of an octave lower is fascinating. I'll definitely try it. You've brightened up a blue composer's day, which is a far greater feat than pushing some metal off the ground.
Check out my latest song called Wanna Be Human But This Song...
ic42 said 3345 days ago (April 21st, 2010)
critique hat on
As with much of your stuff, I really like what I hear... this is a nice piece, and well-worth working on.

I might not use the term "harsh", but instead "crisp", as your staccato damped piano-playing evokes. Although the legato strings tend to be a good companion here, the violin sounds (specifically) are a bit "synthesizer-sounding", not harsh, but "fake" sounding. The orchestration and choice of notes seems good for this "crisp Spring day" tune. But if it were me, I would occasionally hold some sustained chords on the piano to alter the texture a bit. The mix is a little funky... I think it is because the low "cello" strings are off to the right and a bit "boomy", which is distracting. So I think that the above specific things are what contribute to what you are terming as a "harsh" recording... at least in my ears :-) But I would urge you to use these ideas to fix this up a little, it is totally worth making even more beautiful.
ttfn,
Drakonis
Check out my latest song called Mars à Oublier - 0x01
Chimalus said 3344 days ago (April 21st, 2010)
Greetings, Hakuard!

(I couldn't resist.) Thank you for listening. I'd hoped you hear your opinion. Yes, I'm struggling to make such simple instruments sound... like themselves. I'm still not sure how to solve the mixing problems; something about the strings' essence is wacky no matter how I turn the toggle. Sustained chords are a wonderful idea!

This may take awhile, but I'll definitely tinker. Maybe I'm getting cabin fever. However, I'm updating to Logic within a month so hopefully that'll be liberating. Thanks for the critiques.

Check out my latest song called Wanna Be Human But This Song...
Gaylen75 said 3344 days ago (April 21st, 2010)
Ohhh
Love it. Maybe drop the key? I dont think it needs anything. Great great.
Check out my latest song called A Good Day For A Throw Down
Chimalus said 3344 days ago (April 21st, 2010)
"Ohhh..."
is a good response to hear—one of my favorites. Thanks for listening and loving, Gaylen. Your suggestion reinforces one I received earlier, so I will even more certainly try a lower register.
Check out my latest song called Wanna Be Human But This Song...
alackbass said 3344 days ago (April 21st, 2010)
Harsh?
What you may call harsh I simply call beautiful phrasing. The piece is beautiful. And the choice to keep it piano and strings is fitting and wonderful.
Check out my latest song called Mean Miss Teacher
Chimalus said 3281 days ago (June 23rd, 2010)
Thank You
We're our own worst critics apparently. Glad you enjoyed this, sir. Thanks for the uplifting words.
Check out my latest song called Wanna Be Human But This Song...
ktb said 3340 days ago (April 25th, 2010)
deep porcelain
is a great name for a band as well :-) Thoroughly enjoyed this. You have wonderful feel on the keys and the strings do an excellent job framing the composition and adding texture.

I daydream too much and I couldn't help but imagine the birds in the picture as notes on a staph sp? I think thats something either Eduard or Smokey could figure out :-)
Check out my latest song called Blackwater (by Tokai)
Chimalus said 3281 days ago (June 23rd, 2010)
Hmmm!
Interesting name indeed. Honored that you like my "feel on the keys." I just piece the notes together from scratch without playing (I don't know how).

You're right; the birds are a motif, though a literal translation into notes would end up sounding rather... ehhhh... :)
Check out my latest song called Wanna Be Human But This Song...
PaulaMunk said 3281 days ago (June 23rd, 2010)
I liked it.
It has strength. I don't know if I'll be around in ten years so it is a good thing I heard you, now. :)
Check out my latest song called O, Shenandoah
Artist Info
artist photo
Name: Matthew Stiles
Location: Minnesota United States
send a note
"When I’m overwhelmed by the other sounds so much I want to disappear, I listen for my sound: the sound of lava, which can melt anything. Nothing can withstand it. It can melt fear..." -Maho's Mother (Mushi-Shi)... [see more]

Check out some of my other songs:

Chat
Who's Online
Invisible Members: 0
Visitors: 94
Links