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The Monster I am-track6



 Genre: Electropop
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From the Album "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen

Jay contacted me about a month ago and asked if I would be interested in doing another song with him. If you don’t already know his music, let me tell you that it is more than it appears. Or what I mean is that he plays guitars too. Almost all of what I have heard has a clear melodic direction which I find rare in electronic music where it appears many artists rely heavily on samples and redundancy. Jay sent me a slice of songs to pick one to sing on and I decided to take it seriously. I sat back and listened to all of them from beginning to end and found it difficult to pick. All of the songs had something that made me want to write. I asked him if he would let me record an album. He agreed to let me go nuts. After sending me about thirty songs I had picked what I thought would make the point I was going for…

The point I was going for:
I decided that I wanted to take this rare opportunity (ten select songs from a talented artist) and truly commit to an idea. I wanted to do a “concept album” and picked a subject that I felt I still had enough to talk about. I dug deep and wrote about as many painful and true feeling that I could. I cleared the coffers with each part of the story. I mashed relationships together and squeezed the demons of shame neglect and inadequacy to present what I believe reflects why I deserve the relationship I have now.

I always take every song (mine or others) very seriously. I have some self imposed rules about how I write melodies and lyrics that will only make sense to a few but I thought it would be nice for posterity sake that I share with you why I didn’t follow my rules this time. Normally I sit down day one with the music and rip through lyrics melody and recording without moving once. Why would I do that? Besides being crazy, I feel like the end result of a pressure fueled session keeps me connected to the song after Im done. It makes the music part of my life in a way that tinkering and over thought out/ processed ideas seem to lack for me. This makes getting recordings done difficult lately as I don’t have blocks of time and I have become so accustom to this method that I cant get invested.
Anyway with this collection of music I was committed to getting the most connected experience that I could have. But the idea of ten songs done this way was impossible. I decided to change it up and retool my method. I burned a CD and took it with me to work. I drive for a living so I listened to the songs in a constant loop for up to ten hours a day for a week. I my objective was to familiarize myself with the music in the way that I might have been there with Jay when he wrote them. I avoided writing lyrics and got almost all the way through the week before I realized that I had written most of the songs in my head. Yeah some bad driving went down that week but it was the risk I was willing to impose.

So I had only suggested that I would like to do and album because my ladies had plans to be out of town and I had a weekend to record. As it was fast approaching I actually got nervous. I intended to complete ten songs and I still had to work during the day so I really only had about twenty hours to get what I wanted out of the experience. I hope that you can understand that as I don’t take anything seriously like music, it was important that this was smooth. Well, I started Friday night and one after the other the songs started getting done. I had in some ways over prepared. I new every melody that I wanted. I had every harmony in mind and almost all the lyrics memorized. (side note: I have forgotten most of the lyrics as that is how my brain works. Any thoughts on if that makes me odd?) Sunday morning the songs finished I felt like even though I had separated myself from a “method of formula” that I have used for my painting poetry carving writing and music that I had not fallen to far off the emotional coarse that makes this process so satisfying for me. The disconnect that I hate about prolonged projects seems to have been buried by the tight time frame.

The Song: “The Monster I am”

I believe this album is loaded with self loathing but none greater than this one. Looking back on my life I think my biggest mistakes pale by these.

Living in Rewind-track1 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
The Mission Man-track2 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Ego Parade-track3 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Horrible Me-track4 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Five Thousand Times-track5 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
The Monster I am-track6 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
I Hate You-track7 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
A Warning-track8 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Lovers Genocide-track9 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
The Vampire Within-track10 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen

I hope that you enjoy what Jay and I have put together and look forward to some feedback.
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The Monster I am

i took a chance on love
and I asked you to marry me
It was a childish move
It proves I dont know a goddamn thing
You have my dying heart
all tied up in brown paper and string

why didnt I know
youre the kind that would never take my name
the romance has gone
and left me with a new understanding
baby what you've done
has turned me into the monster I am
the venom that you are
courses through my every vein

you know that its over baby baby

you know i read those signs
a thousand times
they said its time to go
before I change my mind
so baby here I go
out on the open road
youre getting old

baby what you've done
has turned me into the monster I am
the venom that you are
courses through my every vein
youre getting old

Song Stats
Hits: 2296
Comments: 12
Fans: 13
Plays: 142
Downloads: 39
Votes: 0
Uploaded: Oct 05, 2011 - 06:36:57 PM
Last Updated: Oct 06, 2011 - 12:01:15 AM Last Played: Jul 18, 2019 - 09:51:55 AM
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carbon said 2844 days ago (October 5th, 2011)
track 6
this is a collab made in heaven. really professional sounding track. as usual gaylen's vocals are heartfelt and delivered with honesty and emotion. very nice.
Check out my latest song called no space v.2
awigze said 2844 days ago (October 5th, 2011)
Every beast
Has it's beauty and Love conquers all. Cool track yet disturbing.
Check out my latest song called If You Can Hang On by Outtaorbit
TracyVosh said 2843 days ago (October 5th, 2011)
The Monster I Am
Cool...I love this one too. I could have never ever imagined how great this would sound with Gaylen's voice playing along with this track. Such delivery of passion, both of you!
alackbass said 2843 days ago (October 5th, 2011)
The Monster I am
Good choice for the title track. Excellent all around!
Check out my latest song called Mean Miss Teacher
PrototypeEightyOne said 2843 days ago (October 6th, 2011)
Deep, Dark and Delicious
In my opinion this was done to perfection Gaylen. This is def my favorite for so many reasons. It was one of my fav pieces of music and mixes to begin with, and with your vocal progressions, melodies, tone and passion, it sounds as complete as it can be. Great work man. I couldnt have asked for any better. This one will def be in my memory bank for years to come. Thanks for really delving into my music, you read these songs like a book.
Check out my latest song called Sin Trifical
PaulaMunk said 2842 days ago (October 7th, 2011)
this kind of disappointment and frustration emanate from human frailty. Sure, you can become a monster when you close yourself off to all love. Wildly passionate vocal. Impressive collab. Thanks, guys.
Check out my latest song called O, Shenandoah
magnatone said 2842 days ago (October 7th, 2011)
ok, well maybe THIS one is my fave
Check out my latest song called Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen) and Variations
five_extra_arms said 2841 days ago (October 7th, 2011)
The Monster
Right off the bat, I like the heavy electro sound this one starts out with. It's a god contrast from the previous tunes. And by the way, I like the order of tunes so far. Nice movement from one to the next.

I like the fact that you take your time with the first few sets of verses. The wailing vocals in the chorus part is probably my favorite part of the vocals.

This song has more of an ending than the previous few but still i would like to hear more of an intentional ending than a kind of abandonment. That sounds like brutally harsh criticism, but it's not intended to be. I think I personally struggle with endings, so I feel like an expert in the subject. Did you give this back to Jay to contemplate or was this your baby hacked to suit your needs/

Lol (I'm laughing at myself as I as this like some kind of authority!)

The Monster trucks along.
Check out my latest song called Draw
ktb said 2840 days ago (October 8th, 2011)
The Monster I am
lush lush lush

Proto's beds are outstanding
Check out my latest song called Blackwater (by Tokai)
Carrie71 said 2840 days ago (October 8th, 2011)
the monster i am...
I love the monster you are! Jay your amazing!
dave_b said 2839 days ago (October 10th, 2011)
The Monster I
Cool hook. I like this image "You have my dying heart all tied up in brown paper and string".
That raspy low register synth voice is cool. Melodic rise in the chorus works well to maintain interest since the backer doesn't change.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
rabittwhole said 2838 days ago (October 10th, 2011)
is a dangerous thing ... track 6 and still listening.
Check out my latest song called FloydianSlip2
Artist Info
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Name: Gaylen75
Location: redding ca United States
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Genre Info
Electropop (also called Technopop) is a subgenre of synth pop music which flourished during the early 1980s, although the first recordings were made in the late 1970s. Numerous bands have carried on the electropop tradition into the 1990s and 2000s.

More songs in Electropop:

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