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Fixed


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lazernation

 Genre: Electronic

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Description
This is another one that I'm not sure about.

I feel like it's finished but there's something missing at the same time. :)

Again, criticism is most welcome, and if you fancy having a go at remixing it, if you're a long standing member, I'd be very willing to, and most grateful if I could email you the GB file.

Cheers!
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Song Stats
Hits: 1379
Comments: 4
Fans: 1
Plays: 134
Downloads: 19
Votes: 0
Uploaded: Feb 05, 2012 - 01:15:48 AM
Last Updated: Feb 05, 2012 - 01:15:48 AM Last Played: Jul 05, 2019 - 02:27:02 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

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Hardware:
iPhone
Software:
Garageband
Comments
Philip18 said 2720 days ago (February 5th, 2012)
Fixed
Interesting soundscape created here. I can't suggest anything about the mix, partly because the style is not really my area, and partly because I don't see that as a problem. Re the "something missing" - for me that is a strong melody line. I'd love to hear someone like ziti or sigmund put a guitar line over the top of this (but I am a bit fixated on guitars). Good work as is, though.
Check out my latest song called Refuge
drakonis said 2718 days ago (February 7th, 2012)
Welcome to the wild MJ world
Very cool, this has hints of 80's electronica, but with fun warmth and bite. At 1:29 I was expecting it to switch to a B-section or chorus, that may be what's missing... or you could rev up a set of variations there to add spice (add/drop/change things like you do at 2:30, just do it a little earlier). Alternatively, just use this as a backing track for that quirky femme singer you are looking for :-) This has a bit of a "driving" nature, so I hear lyrics about a long journey and being anxious to get back home to a warm embrace. Cool stuff.
ttfn,
Drakonis
Check out my latest song called Miwok
Doug Somers said 2718 days ago (February 7th, 2012)
Like it!!
What my buddy Drak said. You have a repeating pattern which is almost begging for some kind of build with each repeat. I hear at 2:30 you simplify it, which is cool, and yet there were a lot of repeats before that which could have benefitted from something to add interest to the bed you've laid down. Electric guitar, wailing female vocal, a different sounding synth, maybe bring in an arpeggiated synth part the way through. What you've got is a great start, with a cool vibe and lots of good things going on, and with a little more variety could be a classic.

OR

You can keep it as it is and it would be fine for the kind of pieces that use repetition to create a familiar soundscape. The fact you feel something is missing though would seem to say you wouldn't go this route.

Cheers,
Doug
Check out my latest song called Western Stranger
Number-S said 2718 days ago (February 7th, 2012)
if you're into that kind of thing
I like it because it doesn't quit, it's keeps vying for my attention until it's gets that. For the thing that's missing - I want to hear an 80s sax playing a very un80s and arty lead, a corny instrument hitting interesting and unexpected notes would blow me away.
Check out my latest song called Continental Enameling
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lazernation is an Englishman, currently living in the tropics, working as little as is humanly possible and trying to get to grips with a Mac Mini and GB11, while continuing to search for a kooky female vocalist with elementary level skills in the En... [see more]

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