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This is another one that I'm not sure about.

I feel like it's finished but there's something missing at the same time. :)

Again, criticism is most welcome, and if you fancy having a go at remixing it, if you're a long standing member, I'd be very willing to, and most grateful if I could email you the GB file.

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Uploaded: Feb 05, 2012 - 01:15:48 AM
Last Updated: Feb 05, 2012 - 01:15:48 AM Last Played: Jul 05, 2019 - 02:27:02 AM
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Philip18 said 2720 days ago (February 5th, 2012)
Interesting soundscape created here. I can't suggest anything about the mix, partly because the style is not really my area, and partly because I don't see that as a problem. Re the "something missing" - for me that is a strong melody line. I'd love to hear someone like ziti or sigmund put a guitar line over the top of this (but I am a bit fixated on guitars). Good work as is, though.
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drakonis said 2718 days ago (February 7th, 2012)
Welcome to the wild MJ world
Very cool, this has hints of 80's electronica, but with fun warmth and bite. At 1:29 I was expecting it to switch to a B-section or chorus, that may be what's missing... or you could rev up a set of variations there to add spice (add/drop/change things like you do at 2:30, just do it a little earlier). Alternatively, just use this as a backing track for that quirky femme singer you are looking for :-) This has a bit of a "driving" nature, so I hear lyrics about a long journey and being anxious to get back home to a warm embrace. Cool stuff.
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Doug Somers said 2718 days ago (February 7th, 2012)
Like it!!
What my buddy Drak said. You have a repeating pattern which is almost begging for some kind of build with each repeat. I hear at 2:30 you simplify it, which is cool, and yet there were a lot of repeats before that which could have benefitted from something to add interest to the bed you've laid down. Electric guitar, wailing female vocal, a different sounding synth, maybe bring in an arpeggiated synth part the way through. What you've got is a great start, with a cool vibe and lots of good things going on, and with a little more variety could be a classic.


You can keep it as it is and it would be fine for the kind of pieces that use repetition to create a familiar soundscape. The fact you feel something is missing though would seem to say you wouldn't go this route.

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Number-S said 2718 days ago (February 7th, 2012)
if you're into that kind of thing
I like it because it doesn't quit, it's keeps vying for my attention until it's gets that. For the thing that's missing - I want to hear an 80s sax playing a very un80s and arty lead, a corny instrument hitting interesting and unexpected notes would blow me away.
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lazernation is an Englishman, currently living in the tropics, working as little as is humanly possible and trying to get to grips with a Mac Mini and GB11, while continuing to search for a kooky female vocalist with elementary level skills in the En... [see more]

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