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a special love

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Description
This is a collaboration between myself and **115**. He did the music. The words, artwork, and mix are mine. cjhoose had nothing to do with this.

I wrote this poem 17 years ago when I was 17. It was inspired by a Police song and nearly got me kicked out of one high school. It did get me in the drama club at a second and my English teacher pinned it up on the bulletin board, so I guess someone liked it.
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Lyrics
i had heartbreak every day
since you were kind enough
to come my way

i hated you
you stupid bitch

i wished i could have killed you
and made you dead
but i loved you much too much
to put a bullet through your
fucking head

i loved to love you
when you were alive and well
even though you were too stupid to
tell

i was shocked completely
when you were considerate for the first time
and just up and died

you had a private funeral
in my basement
no one but me mourned
no one but me cried

I didn't bury you
no i'd never do that
i hid you where your soul was born
my freezer

i take you out of your cold confines
when i'm feeling sad and gray
death did so much for our relationship
you no longer protest when i have you
my way

even though your lips are
stiff and blue
rest assured i still love you
and as i hold you and kiss your pallid cold face
i find i still love loving you
so please oh please return my embrace

and as we in death play our little love games
i realize you moved so seldom in life
it is almost exactly the same
Song Stats
Hits: 3001
Comments: 8
Fans: 1
Plays: 118
Downloads: 124
Votes: 4
Uploaded: Feb 25, 2005 - 08:34:11 PM
Last Updated: Feb 25, 2005 - 07:18:59 PM Last Played: Jul 01, 2019 - 02:12:12 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike

Creative Commons

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Hardware:
eMac and whatever **115** used to do the music.
Software:
GB2 only.
Comments
UncleSamwich said 5255 days ago (February 25th, 2005)
So many thoughts go through my mind...
Crazy, young love...

17 was as interesting and memorable as this piece.

I also was thinking that this was a better song to use
to the last dance with mary jane video.

I was also thinking about the things that got me
kicked out of school.

In general you got me thinking, and that;s impressive
in and of itself. Nice job.

The performance was raw, and the whole thing really
emminated '17' perfectly. Alice Cooper's 18 was
child's play compared to this.
Check out my latest song called Five Pound Samwitch
cjorgensen said 5254 days ago (February 26th, 2005)
So many thoughts go through my mind...
Thanks for the feedback.

I tried to email you a link to the devil poem, but says you prefer not to
receive email.

the file is at:

http://www.thisflapfirst.com/devilpoem.zip

do with it what you will. The site goes away in 5 days (at least for a
while).

---
--
Is there a meaning to all this?
www.thisflapfirst.com
Check out my latest song called Gardens
said 5254 days ago (February 26th, 2005)
This is scary powerful
And, oddly, a little funny, since it's so over the top.

I enjoyed this. The recitation and the guitar are both
powerful.

Many school authorities don't like to deal with
something that is different. Better we should
all be automatons. Beep.
cjorgensen said 5254 days ago (February 26th, 2005)
This is scary powerful
Heh, yeah, a lot of my stuff is way over the top. When I read this one at
slams I get all sappy and nostalgic with it. Never a dry eye in the house
after. Well, ok, so not really.

I was way into a lot of punk bands with three letter names and a lot of
goth backs with really long names at the time I wrote this. And "Sally" or
whatever it's called was on my mind at the time of the writing. Funny
how I can remember stuff like that, but pretty much everything else from
high school is gone.

Rubber sex doll, dead girlfriend, not really so far apart. :)

---
my life for those without one...
http://www.christopher.jorgensen.name
Check out my latest song called Gardens
**115** said 5246 days ago (March 6th, 2005)
...
I apologize if you're emails are being blocked...but I've had a monster problem with viruses & had to turn my spam blocker on high....good job on the vocals! Did you see what I meant...my demos sound WAY better on CDr audio, as opposed to compressed MP3's...somewhere along the line, the compression on my computer makes it sound horribly tinty & less powerful. Again....good job & it was fun working with you!
Check out my latest song called A Special Love
Warren Smith said 5244 days ago (March 8th, 2005)
numb and number
I can't make up my mind on how to respond to this piece, trying to select from the following possible menu choices:

a) dark comedy
b) honest attempt at articulating the frustrations of pairing with the opposite sex
c) morbid fascination with death
d) remake of the Pygmalion myth
e) a cry for help (I'll leave that analysis up to the Epileptic Gibbon)
f) shock rock (I'm shocked - shocked to find necrophilia going on in the basement!)
g) a purgative (what better way to raise the darkness than turning it into art?!)
h) a demonstration of -10.0 on the feminist scale of sensibility
i) the kind of art you make after watching too many "Halloween" movies
j) a nostalgic 34-year-old trying to revisit the golden days of his punk past

I probably should be shocked by the blatant story and it's unabashed presentation, but I'm not. That's probably due to the times we live in, which generates a numbness from over-exposure to so much over-the-top activities, more than the song itself, which did generate a list of ten topics from me. And that ending is clever. I can see why your English teacher liked it, and the administration hated it.
Check out my latest song called Toe Jam
TennesseeVic said 5215 days ago (April 6th, 2005)
Now tell us how you really feel....
I think I find these lyrics a bit easier to digest knowing
that you were 17 when you wrote them. At that age we're
all a bit over-the-top, not? If you had written this
yesterday I'd alert the police, probably....
Check out my latest song called Allegro from flute sonata 1 in C
balata said 5079 days ago (August 20th, 2005)
Necrophilia?
coming down to the end I was kinda thinking that you were
talking about some pet that may have died. You know likt
the sound Brandy. But I also got a sense of unrequited love
or admiration, which is what makes this all the more
interesting as it shows what a mind can think and a person
can feel when reciprocation is not there. Now the necrophilic
tendency there is indeed a bit scary. Good work.
Check out my latest song called Behind The Eyes
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Artist Info
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Name: Christopher L. Jorgensen
Location: Slater IA United States
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Christopher L. Jorgensen is lucky enough to make his living answering questions about Macintosh computers all day. In his spare time he likes to drink wine, play with webdesign, and learn new things about computers. He has an iron ego and lives fo... [see more]

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